200 post!!!!

Wow. I made it to 200! WOHOO ME!!

Well, I'd like to thank those people who reads my blog and still reads it.

What catches my eye on the ,urm... what do you call that..., status report or dashboard?  Is that there are people who reads my blog from Russia and India.

I just noticed that India reached to 15 this week. And Russia is 11. Can't believe myself that you guys actually would take your time to read my blog. Haha. So glad. Well, at least I am not writing this on my own and talking to myself.

Anyways, I just want you all to know that your consistent of reading has actually motivated me to write more.

I started to draw again. I think I didn't post my drawings here. Did I? Or maybe I didn't for the latest one. I'll post it up in the next post.

Thank you all for your kindness, time and support, I will keep on writing!

Cheerios.

10/3/14

Just finished today.
I started out with difficulties on drawing the whole thing.
The cat and the guy are from blue exorcist.
And I really like my shading.

Please don't

Please don't like me
For I am filled of scars.

Please don't like me.
For I am incapable.

Please don't like me.
For I only know pain.

Please don't like me.
For I know you'll only cause pain.

Please don't like me.
For I wish for no more.

Please don't like me.
For I want no more.

Please don't like me.
For all I know is nothing but fear.

Please don't like me.
For I know to you, I'm nothing.

Please don't like me.
For we both know you don't like me at all.

After 2 years of not drawing.

Hey, guys.

This drawing is after 2 years of not drawing.

It's from an anime, blue exorcist. It's an old anime but I still like it.

This is from one of the scenes.

You said, And now?

You said you'll be here. 

For me and whenever I am down.

When I need a shoulder to cry on.

And now, where are you?

You said you are tired. 

Too tired to talk.

Yet, you promised to make an effort. 

But now, where are you?

You said you are getting busier.

Don't have time for me. 

And then you go on twitter and facebook chatting with people.

It's fine. But what about me?

You said you are working hard. 

Trying to save money so you can see me. 

And now you are out there somewhere doing whatsoever. 

That's all fine. But how about me?

You said all that 

You promised all that

And then your heart is not here at all. 

So what's the point?

And now I know you lie. 

Now I know you betray. 

Now I know you hurt.

Now I know you are nothing. 

I am not crying.

I am not tearing down. 

I am not breaking up.

I am not falling apart. 

BUT I am standing.

BUT I am walking

BUT I am flying

BUT i am alive.

NOW I am walking away.

NOW I am leaving.

NOW I am crushing.

NOW I am stepping on top of you. 

For I know I hurt you before 

Therefore it is fair you do the same. 

And now it's fair and square. 

I shall leave. 

Past, present, future

Hey guys, been a long time since I was here (again). But I brought a lesson for you all today.
If you keep staying in the past, you are holding into yesterday.
You aren't willing to let it go yet.
You still want to have what you had yesterday.

If you are in the present, you are aware of what is happening around you.
You know what is going on.
You won't be lost.
You know what you want to do.

If you are in the future, you are worrying over tomorrow.
You think of nothing but tomorrow.
You worry for what may come tomorrow.

Now let me tell you this:
The past is gone.
It won't come back.
It's just a memory for you to keep.

Not for you to brag and linger on the old days.

The present IS now.
The now is what you have in hand right now.
The now is what you can only have and enjoy.
The now is what creates tomorrow.

Now the future is nothing to be worried about if you have planted the good seed today.

The future is tomorrow.

If you have so much I'm your plate to eat, how are you going to take more if you are only given one plate?

If your cup is already full, how are you going to contain more tea?

If you are already bloated, how are you going to stuff more good into you?

The past is something we keep in our memory bank. And by that I do not mean that you consistently think about it. That is staying in the past.

The present is what you cherish. This now I'd what you have in hand.

This now is what you create for tomorrow.

This now is the time for you to learn and enjoy.

The future is beyond today.

It is not for you to think about until you reached tomorrow.

Tomorrow has it's own worries.
Deal with today and forget about tomorrow.
When it is tomorrow, then we think about it.

You are you

You can never be anyone else but you. No matter how hard you try to change. No matter how much you changed. You will always have that 1% unlike them.

People change to become their role model.
People change to look like their idols.
People do ANYTHING to be someone else but themselves.

Why?

Because they think that they have to be like them.
They take their role model into account that they have to be like them.
Nelson Mandela or mother Theresa are both good role models.
But no one can be like them.
Why?
Because no one can be replaced.

No one is replaceable.
No one can be represented.
No one can be someone else whom they are not born to be.
So why not just be yourself?

Why not just be the unique you?

Because some of us are lacking confidence in ourselves that we don't think we are good enough.

We think that our role model are better.
We think that we have to be like them to be accepted.

NO.

Everyone is accepted in the society once they are born.
Everyone is already part of the society when they are born.
Everyone IS the society once they are born.

Just like one of the sentence in Eminem's lyrics in his song "Beautiful"

He said that
"God gave you these shoes to put you in. So just put them on and wear it. Be yourself man. Be proud of who you are."

So just be yourself and be proud of it.
Because you never know that one say you might lose yourself because you are trying too hard to be someone else.

Farewell.

My body, statued to the ground.
My mind, replaying things over and over again.
My soul, trembling without knowing what to do.
My heart, cracking, piece by piece.

Little did I know, you'd say those words.
Little did I know, you'd mean those words.
Little did I know, you'd own those words.
Little did I know, you'd leave me forever.

You told me, you won't leave.
You told me, you would stay.
You told me, such beautiful lies.
You told me, such painful promises.

In the end, I am left here on my own.
In the end, I am the one who fought.
In the end, I am the one who cared.
In the end, I am the fool.

Such a fool I am, to wait for you.
Such a fool I am, to listen to you.
Such a fool I am, to bid away advises.
Such a fool I am, to help you through.

No regrets, do I have for meeting you.
No pain, do I feel after letting you go.
No cracks, do you left behind on me.
No tears, do you earn from my eyes..

And now, you're gone.
And now, I'm free.
And now, you're lost.
And now, I've found my way home.