Today or shall I say this week is the not a very pleasent week for me. I felt things that I shouldn't be feeling. I am broken once again for reasons that aren't reasonable enough to explain why. I should have seen it coming. 'It' was warning me already... 'It' was already telling me not to come yet I forced myself to go. 'It' warned me not to go. Yet, I went. 'It' already made me feel uncomforatble inside. Warning me not to go because something is about to happened but I just have to go...
It is my friend's birthday today. Turn out to be a rough day for him. I knew that something is about to happen. And it was a bad thing. Not something that we all wanted. But I just ignored it. Thinking that it was just me. Thinking that it is going to be fine. I just had to be that rebelious. I just had to. Because I just want to hang out with my friends but in the end it ended up badly.
This is my punishment. This is what it has done to me. Now 'it' is lecturing me. Telling me that it told me so but I didn't listen to 'it'. Why? Am I just too selfish? Do I just have to make things go bad then I am satisfied? I am selfish am I? Knowing that something bad is about to happen and I just went on with it. Why do I just have to be selfish?
AM I SELF BLAMING NOW? OR DO I LEARN A LESSON FROM HERE? DO YOU? I'M SURE I DO...
