New year

Happy new year to you.
Happy new year to you.
Happy new year to everyone!
Happy new year to you.

2014 won't be awesome, great or amazing. But if you show up as so, it will be as so.

Law of attraction applies like karma

No more pain.

Heart.
Shatters all over the cold, hard ground.

Mind.
All clouded with thoughts without answers.

Body.
Unable to move. Not a single muscle.

Soul.
Nowhere to be found.

This is when I stop.
Think.

Be in peace.
Find myself again.

Gather my pieces.
Clear my mind.

Crack the frozen muscle
Capture my soul.

Once again.
Once for all.

Once and no more
No more shall I be hurt like this.

No more...
For I don't deserve this

No more...
For I deserve better.

No more...
For I am strong enough to move on.

Merry xmas

Hey guys! Merry Christmas all over the world!

I have decided to just stick to one blog only to make less confusion.

If you did saw my other blogs, I'm sorry if I made you confused.

And thank you for reading all these while!

Best of wishes and lucks!

I'll see you on new year!

Here's a joke

A man tries to impress the sales lady that he knows how to speak English. Even using colors!!

*mimicks phone ringing*
Green. Green.

*mimicks to pick up phone and speak*

"Yellow?

Blue is this?

White do you want?

If you don't say then don't call me black!"

*mimicks putting down phone*
*does a chin nod at the cashier*

My endless night.

My last.

When I was a kid...

When I was a kid, I have all that the other kids have. All except the leisure, fun, and friends.

For my classmates who are girls, they think of me as a middle person. The kind that you push around and stuff.

For my classmates who are guys, they think of me as someone to tease and mock.

All my elementary years, even when I moved school, it's like that.

Other kids remember about having fun with their friends, reading  playing and doing all sorts of kiddy stuff together.

I remember the ructions I had to go to right after school. I had school from 7 to 12. Then afternoon tuition from 2 to 4. On tues and thurs night, I have tuition again from 7 to 9. Sometimes, I get home around 10.

I didn't get much time even though it is on weekends. On sat, I have maths tuition in the morning. On Sun, I have art class in the morning. Then I have ballet in the afternoon.
There was once when my brother was sick, so he couldn't come to tuition with me. So when the tuition ended, everyone went home except for me.

I had tuition at night that day, if I remember correctly it was a Tuesday. It was almost 6:30pm and no one came to send me home yet. At that time we didn't have any handphones, not because we can't afford but because our parents doesn't want us to misuse it.

6:45pm, my dad came to fetch me. I didn't have time to shower or rest. I just had my dinner, change my tuition bag and then rush for the other tuition.

I was already late but then I was forgiven as it was my first time being late. Although the teacher was very strict but she knows me well as I am a hardworking student so she let me off the hook that time.

There are many things I remember about my childhood but most of them would be studying, homework, getting caned, and being teased.

I also remember that I was scolded by the teachers only because I have the wrong answer to her question or didn't finished the homework given the day before. I told her I have tuition homework as well and she caned me again saying that's an excuse for not doing her homework.

The Wednesday, following the incident on the Tuesday I told you about just now, was the day that I got caned more than 5 times in school and afternoon tuition on my palm for not finishing my homework.

Title and content

I remember when I was about 14 years old, my passion for writing comes alive. I started writing poems and stories. That's because I just love writing things.

Then one day when a book brochure came to our school. It has the writing competition inside the brochure as well.

There were there titles to choose from to write about. But then only one of the story struck me as easy topic.

It was "my family"

At that time, I thought it was talking about my whole family and say about what they are and such.

In the end I didn't send my article although my friends encouraged me but my mom didn't know anything about it.

Thinking back about it now, I realize that even if I did sent my story with 800-1000 words in Times New Roman font and size 12.

I won't even get the prize at all. Because they were talking about my family. Not who they are, what they like and so on.

It's about how much I know about my family. It comes in different aspects. But I know that the way I write my story won't get any prize because that'll be too cliche.

Things in mind..

There are several things in mind that I always wanted to talk about but then I constantly forgot about them after doing something else.

Here it goes:

Exams are over,
School is over,
Monthly tests are over,
Piles of homework are over.

And I still can't think of something to do,.
Something that I am interested in,
Something productive,
Something that I can do on my free time,.

But then come to think again, I am only good in writing. That's all I am ever good in.

English. Yeah, like a nerd.
Bio and chem. Yeah, I suppose...
Talking? I am not too sure about that.
So here I am back to blogging...

My 10 Confessions

1: I don't really think before I talk or do anything. So practically I am impulsive. That's why sometimes I don't even know what I am doing at all.

2: I prefer people online than people in reality. I am the kind of person that seeks comfort in virtual world. I know that, but I just like to be in comfort.

3: I pretend to be stupid. Yes, I know. I have a brain. A brain for me to think, and rethink about what I am going to do and yet, I don't think with it. Like I said, impulsive.

4: I hurt everyone who cares, loves and dear to me. I am addicted to pain and yet I brought pain to the ones I love as well.

5: I make people worry about me all the time. I know it sounds stupid because you are not supposed to make people worry for you yet I do.

6: I am not aligned with my brain, heart, soul and body. Nowhere near aligned. That's why I do things and not understand what I am doing.

7: I am a blank. Seriously a blank. The reason is I don't have anything in mind at all. I don't even know what I am staring at or thinking about. Until I am completely aware of it.

8: I am most of the time insane. Unless I am really aware then I am considered sane.

9: I love studying and I am a nerd/geek. BUT I don't understand any language that nerd/geeks exchange. I just don't.

10: I mumble most of the time because I am just lazy to open my mouth to talk properly. When I do, I get frustrated. And most of the time, I talk my own language that only people at my wavelength can understand. If you aren't or don't understand then it means that you are not at my wavelength which is hard to get to.

Someone new..

Tonight, I met someone. As in someone from CV.

CV is core value training course. It's a life changing course. But back to my point.

Tonight, I met someone who I never knew or seen before. Like never. Literally never...

I was talking to my brother and then when we finish talking. I turned around and saw a guy essay taller than me or my brother just looking at me.

I look back at him and wonder if he is looking at somewhere else. Then, he waves at me with a big smile on his face like he knew me.

I smile and wave back at him. He came closer to me and just hugged me. Because that's how CV families greet each other.

Then I had to huh him back, duh.... , then I asked him for his name, obviously I don't even know his name so I should ask for it.

He said it is Alvin. When he said that he had to bend down to my eye level because he is just too tall to me. Even when he hugged me he had to bend down to. Which he doesn't seemed to mind about.

When I said okay, and assuming that he knows mine, I walked away with him trailing behind me. I didn't know what to do but I do know that when I am in a different place, I still saw him there.

Before I left, I wanted to let him know that I am leaving. I don't know why but I just felt like telling him. Which I didn't in the end. But I'm sure I'll see him soon again if destiny brings us together to meet again.

Officially a high school grad.

Hey there guys, I am back again. This time I may be back for more than just  a few days or a week. I am back until January. Yes, I am back until school reopens again. This is because I finished my school term. And I have finished my high school days already.

It seems to me that it was just yesterday we were at the beginning of the year. Yet, as I have said many times for now, time pass by fast. It doesn't wait for anyone. It just keeps walking and walking. The second hand never stops. Even if it does, the world never stops orbiting around the Sun. So we will never hide or escape from time.

I have already been accepted to the school that I am going to take my A-levels at. I am not sure about the other 3 girls who are also going there. But I think I can ask them when I see them again. If I don't then maybe I'll see to it next year. 

I look back at my days in high school. I can memorize most of the people in it. Most of the events that happened. Most of the things that happened to us. Although I did regret some of the memories, but then I treasure it. 

I take that as a lesson to be learnt. 

One of them being, don't take trust from friends for granted. I, myself, don't like being betrayed so I shouldn't be doing that to them as well. 

This is another lesson learnt. Don't do something that you don't want others to do to you. 

If friends aren't there all the time for you, they aren't the right friend for you. They are for someone else. 

What people do to you, you did the same to others before. This is just karma coming back to you.

There are sunny days, rainy days, typhoon or hurricane in friendships. But if they (or you) can't talk to each other like nothing happened at all and forget about what happened between the both of you, you are not for each other. 

If you don't take the chance, you'll never get it again. 

我是我

Sorry too lazy to retype. So i did screenshots.

身体健康

我写过一次。然后太懒惰再写一次。。。嘿嘿嘿。。。请见谅

17岁

7年过了，我还在古晋。我是七年前来到古晋的。现在还在这里。 再过两年我就要离开我的国家去别国家读书了。

7年前，我第一次来到学校，我没人好依靠。什么都靠自己。学校里每个人都戏弄我。都恨我。

6年前，我什么都不知道。朋友都不是朋友。没人是真心的对待我。朋友也跟另外一个人说不喜欢我。我是顺耳听到的。竟然被我听到我不想听到的事。那时候我多么的想立刻跑回家。明天不来学校了。但是隔一天还是低着头的来学校。

5 年前，我还是在一样的学校校。来了新学生。我还笨笨的以为自己喜欢他的哥哥。原来是暂时的喜欢而已。当时都是身边的同班同学都很喜欢看到一个男生就说喜欢的。只要是帅，好看或者适合的都会喜欢。我也被传染了。。。

4年前，那时是我在那个学校最后一年了。那时候，我也是被同班同学说不要再做朋友了。其实我都没当他们做朋友，他们就来说什么了。。奇怪。。。说我性格不好。我不改的话，他们不做我朋友。哎。。。性格是难改的啊。。
年年我都跟我的同班同学争第一，年年我都是第二。当时我跟她说可以让我第一吗？我知道她心很软的。最后她还是没让我。其实我觉得她不让我是因为第一是自己争取的。不是讨来的。那时候我真的学会了。

3年前，我换学校了。三个前同学都来找我。说“你在的时候把你当草，你不在的时候把你当宝。”那时候我的心真的碎了。她们竟然是如此的对待我。从那时候开始我就冷漠了。在学校接近我的人都会知道我是个冷漠女孩。因为如果我不冷漠的话我怕我又会被伤害。那时候每个人叫我出去陪他们玩乐的我都会说不能，不行，没空什么的。什么理由我都找得出。就是因为不要太亲切。不要太理解。那时候我只依靠着一个英文老师过日子。那时候我也写了一本书。不是因为寂寞。是因为我想写一本书来表现我写书的能力。谁知道我真的写了一本出来。

2年前，我理解的，认识的，明白的，都是自己猜测出来的。而且全部都对。都是猜测和观察出来的。厉害吧？呵呵。。 其实是我自己会的事。那时候我什么都不想管。但是最后还是管。有时我觉得自己很多话。太闲空了。所以就找事。什么都管。也是因为我想参与他们。但是我记得表哥说过的。不要参与他们，做好自己就够了。那时开始我就作为我自己。冷漠的自己。我知道自己是个很温柔，善良，爱心，得人。但是因为那些事就冷漠起来了。

1年前，我只关注我的学业。谁知道来了一个我不想认识的人。伤了我的心。我写的信，竟然会被她在我面前丢到垃圾筒里。那种感觉。。。是伤到不能伤的感觉。想象一下。你的心，被人甩到一边去。被裁，被踢。那种痛，比失去好朋友更难受。

今年，我只有一年在学校里 了。谁知道就那么快过了。我还没学够就得毕业了。

我

我心碎了。
谁来补我心呢？

我寂寞了。
谁来陪我呢？

我累坏了。
谁来照顾我呢？

我伤心了。
谁来安慰我呢？

我生气了。
谁来做我出气筒？

我饿坏了。
谁来给我做吃的呢？

我郁闷了。
谁来给我说说话呢？

我大哭了。
谁来给我擦眼泪呢？

我去世了。
谁来我的葬礼呢？

我生日了。
谁来陪我过呢？

期待的越多
得到的越少，
知道了吗？
我亲爱的朋友们。

Bday you all scorpios!!!

Sorry for the delay but got no motovation this afternoon so ended up drawing this in the end to pass some time and continue tonight.

Love you all scorpios! Stay strong and be beautiful/handsome cause you are ;-) :-P 

第一道菜永远是拿手好菜。my first time cooking dinner for myself

我的第一道菜是豆腐。上面是minced pork。豆腐下面本来是可以放白菜的。但是我没放。就算没放也是一样的好吃。只要调味调味一下就ok了。 呵呵。。

毕业了

老师，拜拜。
学校，拜拜。
青春，拜拜。
同学，拜拜。
科室，拜拜。
画室，拜拜。
化室，拜拜。
理室，拜拜。
生室，拜拜。
走廊，拜拜。
桌子，拜拜。
椅子，拜拜。
白板，拜拜。

我离开你们了。。 再次见到你们的时候就是在大学。那时候就是不一样的人了。
再见。我会想你们。回来看你们的。

A levels

I applied to a school that not everyone can survive in.

A school that you have to shed blood and fight for the end.

A school that all other schools are an enemy of.

A school that is competitive

An arrogant school of betrayals

But I end up in the school I tried avoiding for my whole life.

The best thing is that I don't have to wear there sailor uniform. Cause even if I am the student. I am not gonna wear the uniform. No way will I ever wear it.

But all the best to the four of us who are going there. Let's wish we survive the one and a half year.

如果你遇见一个笨笨的女孩

如果哪天有个笨笨的女孩出现在你的生命当中，

请你一定要好好对待她。

因为她真的很笨。笨到自己都不知道在干什么。但是她爱心很大。不要看她很弱，她其实也是很坚强的。只是你没看到那一面的她。

请你好好的去珍惜她。
因为如果她喜欢上你了，她会无论如何都会把你放在第一。
什么都心甘情愿的为你做。
什么都想到你先。
自己永远放在最后。
都会考虑你的感觉才做决定的。

请你不要对她不好。
因为就算你折磨她 她也无所谓。
因为如果你开心的话她就会傻傻的对你笑。

请你好好的保护，爱护她。
因为她不知道什么叫疼。
疼了也硬着嘴巴说  "没事，我不疼。"

请你不要对她冷漠。
因为她只要看到你不开心就什么花样都会做出来。
就是为了看你开心才放心。
你越对她冷，她就越怪自己不会让你笑出来。

最后就是如果你不喜欢她的话，
请你跟她说好。
让她放下。
这样她就不会笨笨的为了你而失去人生最重要的一切。
因为，为了你，她什么都可以不要。
只要你说一声她就听你的了。

What am I doing here?

There comes a time when I ask myself; what am I doing here. The answer would mostly be "You know what? I have no idea."

Some of the time the answer would be "I am here for..." "I am going to..." and so on.

But somehow, I find that all as an excuse to myself for being somewhere only. Not that I don't want to answer the question or to escape from the real question itself. But what am I really doing here?

Seriously, this is the time when I say, you know what? Let's go and find it out by rewinding the day and we'll know our answer.

Tomorrow is the starting of my mock exam. 明天就初考了。。。

Tomorrow I am going to have my mock exam...    明天就考初考了

Nervous? no.    紧张？不会。

Scared? no.    害怕？不会。
Confidence? yes    自信？恩。
Think you'll pass? yes    认为会考得及格吗？恩。
Think you'll fail? no   认为会失败吗？不会。

I don't know why but I don't have any pressure at all even though it is going to be the exam results that I am going to use for my application for colleges.
我不知道为什么自己不会有压力就算这个成绩是拿来给大学看的。

But I know that I don't have to worry too much. If I do so, it will just bring me lots of stress to myself.
但是我知道不需要那么紧张。因为那样只会带给我更多的压力而已。

Go with a clear and calm mind and probably I will get the result that I deserve.
带着一个平静和清楚的思想去考试可能还会给我应该得到的成绩呢。

还有两个星期。。。Two more weeks...

还有两个星期就要初考了。。。
但是，为什么好像没有压力的呢？ 以前看哥哥那么大的压力。可现在为何自己却没有呢？是不是我自己准备好了呢？是不是信心大呢？
每个朋友都那么说没压力的感觉。。。难道我们今年不一样吗？考好才有压力？？

Two more weeks to mock exam.
But, why do I feel like I have bo pressure on me at all? Last year, I watched my brother and his friends having such pressure. Now it's my turn and I don't feel anything.
All of my friends said the same thing. Could it be that we just don't have pressure on ourselves? Confidence? Or just feeling pressure after the ezam because pf the results?

4 more weeks

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gays and lesbians, male and female, ghosts and aliens. If you are reading this I have something to announce you all.

Soon, after 4 weeks, I am going to have mock exam,. This mock exam is for me to get my results and apply to university. If you are wondering where I am going, he he he.. I am going to Australia. Not telling you where but I am going there. Why? Of course for further studies.

How about the rest of you out there? How are you guys doing tonight and recently? Have you been living a happy life with enough things around you or lots of things around you and an unhappy life?

苦？

苦？ 你懂何苦啊？有生活过在苦中吗？

你懂什么苦？心苦？痛苦？酸甜苦辣的苦？哪个苦？你有活过我的苦吗？你又知道我的苦吗？

活在苦中的人都不说苦，咬着牙坚持的活下去，你呢？一点苦就闲着了。那以后的苦你如何过下去呢？不耐苦的话以后怎么面对世界呢？

吃到苦瓜叫味道的苦。

失恋的话叫心里的苦。

工作失败叫工人的苦。

失去宠爱叫人生的苦。

考不及格叫学生的苦。

你是那个苦呢？

有上面的那种苦吗？

没有就不要多说。

除非你的苦也得加上去。

When...

When I'm alone,
I reminisce
Back to the days.

The days when
I feel very
Perspicacious about my work.

The days when
I was
Obstreperous.

The times when
I desecrate
My own family.

The times when
I am
Fallacious to people.

The moments when
I disappointed
The people wjo cared for me.

The moments when
I feel so
Minuscule to everyone.

The seconds when
I felt
Asphyxiated.

The seconds when
I embarass
everyone I love

To the readers,
Who read this may
Think this is a
Dichotomy of who I am.

My impression
Is an
Illusion.

Realize it...

Sky is blue,
Grass is green,
Not everything is simple,
As it seems.

Life can be complicated.
You have to strive,
To achieve
Your goal in life.

Nothing is impossible.
It's all your thought.
Don't give up on hope,
Because there's always a choice

Relationships sometimes last.
Sometimes there's an end.
True friends will last.
Being with you till the very end.

Happiness, we plus.
Sadness, we minus.
Love, we multiply.
Hate, we divide.

Spend or Invest?

Have you ever wonder to yourself if you are spending your money or investing on it?

Spending in the definition of wasting it for certain things that you don't really need.

Investing not only the outside and have to wait for the invest to work, but invest in ourselves and eventually it helps in our goal in life.

When investing, we are actually expanding the values that we have. We have to invest with a goal. An intention in that goal.

But we have to be clear on what we are expanding or investing. If it is the right thing, you get the resultt of satisfaction. If it is thw wrong thing  you end up asking yourself why did this happen or why did i invest on this.

Money; want or need?

What does moneey means to you?

Personally, I think that money is just a piece of paper that brings value, importance, a need in life, allows me to help others I care for and something we use to trade with a material.

Most of the time, we think that we need money so we can have enough to provide. The problem is, there is no enough because you'll be searching and wanting for more to feed your greed and ego self.

Money is also an icon that are man-made and will never leave with us as we enter our coffin. It just remains.

And the truth about money is that we don't own it. Even if you have i under your name, bank account, property, whatever you call it. It is still not yours cause when you die it is someone else's already.

Money is a flow of energy in life. If we keep holding unto money, it will stop flowing. Why? Simple, the theory of a full cup can never be filled with water again when it is full. You have to drink it up to fill it again with water.

We have to learn to use money in a proper form so it will come back to us again. Don't fear it, or afraid of losing it. It has feelings too. You fear or afraid of it, it will be afraid of you too...

I know that it sounds crazy to tell you it has feelings too. But try and love money unconditionally. As in, love it when it is there or even if it is not there.

Just try it, you'll see the difference. And don't be afraid of losing it. When you want it and have a good intention for wanting it, it will be there. Just believe in that.

Flexibility

I was just listening to my music on my computer and singing those songs to myself but what I didn't know was that the song was a remix. Then I remembered that I got these songs from a friend of mine. What surprised me is that those songs are actually nice in the remix version as well. I decided to keep quiet and listen to the new remix version. 

That hit me completely, in a sense that we all have to be spontaneously flexible once in a while with life. We can't have our life all planned, which I just learnt today, because we don't know the future. Even if we plan everything, it may go our way for a few while, but then there is always something that makes your plan to go sideways or off the track because you don't know what might be in the future. 

You can plan for the major things in life, but you can't plan for everything in detail. As in, you can't plan for tomorrow and have everything in time with a schedule because you can't always be sure that the weather might not interfere with your schedule. 

You just have to expect something to happen sometimes because the most unexpected thing might happen and become the best thing that ever happen to you in your life. But there are things that might bring the worst out of you. Which is why we all have to be flexible and go with what life has planned for us. 

Sympathy for the illegitimate born idiosyncrasy child

People feel sympathy for
the boy who
never saw his parents.

They think that he';s
never going to be
normal like the other children.

They pin-point at him,
isolate him,
stay away from him like a disease.

But I don't.

I have empathy
for that boy 'cause
he's unique.

I heard his side
and learn't he's
an illegitimate child.

His parents abandoned him
as a baby with
the foster care.

Yet he is idiosyncrasy.

Because of what he experienced
or gone through in his life
made him this special.

And he
inspired me
to live life and love my parents more.

Live like we're dying

Has anyone of you heard of the song "Live like we're dying by Kris Allen"? I am sure some of you have. It is an old song actually. I was listening to it just now and I thought about the song itself.

People say to live like we are dying then you will know how to live life the proper way or something like that. Actually we don't have to live like that. We can live like we are living and appreciate things in our lives. The whole concept of living like we are dying is actually just another way of saying that we have to be grateful for everything that we have now.

The way they call it, live like we're dying, actually sounds rather depressing on my opinion. Why not we just use words like appreciate the life we have now while we live it? Wouldn't it be better? Why can't we rephrase that word?

Why do we as human beings like to use such words to make our sentences?

Wouldn't using a more lightening words better?

Doesn't it sounds better?

Doubts?

What do you mostly think about when you are in doubt, let say in a relationship?

When you have doubt it means that you are not trusting enough to your partner (in any relationship you are in). Why are you not trusting? Why don't you trust the other?

Have we all forgotten the rules of a relationship? It all started with trust. You trust that your partner will love you back, treat you nice, stay loyal to you, be faithful to you.

The other reason that you may not trust your partner enough could be that you don't have enough trust in yourself. Think about it. They say that 'To love, you have to be love'. So I am rephrasing it with trust this way. "To trust another, learn to trust yourself."

I know that the generation that we live in now is hard to be trusting to another. Especially in a partnership relationship of any kind. Marriage, boy/girlfriend or even friendship. It is hard to trust now because the generation of our people have changed.

Not everyone can let themselves out to the whole world without feeling that they are being judged by another. Because everyone has a reputation to keep. That will be another story another post. But why can't you be trust so others can learn to trust you first?

Change starts with us, ourselves, not others. If you try to force someone to change, you will just end up getting g a headache and stress. So exclude the stress and let them learn to change by seeing the change in you first.

What matters?

What really matters most doesn't really matters sometimes. What's more important is what is the intention behind the thing that matters to you.

To me, my family matters to me the most. Because in the end of the day, they are the last one there for me when the whole world turned away from me. They are the first one to talk to regarding advices that you can relay on.

Family is very important because they are the ones that you selected to be with before you came to earth. They are always there even if you don't want them to be. They are the best friends that you have ever since birth.

They care for you no matter what happens, and always love you even if you think that you are a burden to them. They support you in all ways. When they don't they have their own reasons.

You can tell them everything you want about yourself and your problems and still see them there the next morning. Because, where else can they go? You are all living under the same roof (or not), still in the end of the day you are family. You can't run away from that.

Family is also the shelter from problems you have with the society. The home that you can always be in. The source of love to look for. The place where you can feel safe the most. Like it or not, they are still family and they are not going anywhere at all.

That is why family matters most to me. What about you?

Prosaic, Encumber, Laudable

Prosaic,
The word people used
To describe my life.
They thought I was
Always a cheerful,
Innocent and healthy child.

But I wasn't
Never was.

My life is filled with encumbers
Every corner I see,
Everywhere I go.
What made me this way,
I don't know.

But I know I have something special
A partial duplex on my left kidney,
Thyroid neurotropic symptom
And amnesia.

Yes, I don't have any symptoms of it,
I don't have depression either,
Even the doctor was surprised.
That was what made me

A laudable person
Because I treat myself like
Any other normal person
And look like anyone else.

Light and Dark

"Be the light that shines you the road, Not the dark that makes you doubt where you go." Mabel.

We are all light once. But we somehow fall into darkness because no one was there to stop us or hold us back and bring us back to the road. Not to say there wasn't just that there was someone that calls for us to come back to the river bank but we werent aware enough to listen carefully or hear their voices because we are too deep in it already.

This is how we ard in life sometimes. We mostly takes things around us for granted. Most of the times at this generation, teens would probably be the ones that takes most of the things for granted.

We take our lives for granted and say yolo for the times when you know you are doing something that is stupid or might hurt yourselves or health but you did it anyways. Why? Because yolo! You think that you only live once and should do everything while you can but I'm telling you when you can't get up on your bed or even talk anymore, that is the time you'd be reflecting why you did those things and believed in yolo so much. That is the times when you think that you should not have done it otherwise you'd be a happy person still being able to walk and talk.

Life may be only for once. But health is not a thing to say yolo so easily over. Just because yolo doesn't mean you should get high and OD over. You wanna die like that then go ahead. But I'm telling you first. You're not gonna like your funeral. Cause you may look normal but when the kind of face you have when you die is going to be the face you're carrying into your grave.

Stop drugging yourself. It's already a bad thing and lots of people already OD or died over it already. I don't want you to be the next one too.

I am going away~~~

Hi, everyone. Do you guys miss me? I am sure you do because I miss you guys too. How have you guys been doing for the past two weeks that I was gone? Well, to let you know what I have been doing... I was having my exam so I'm sorry for not being on for so long to keep you guus updated.

I'm at vacation now but I'm doing my best to let you guys know about the recent things... Now I've got blogger on my phone, I can update you guys anytime, anywhere.

In fact, I won't need to use my laptop anymore!! Haha! Such a good thing eh? Only if I can have Microsoft Office on my phone as well then I can really work you know? That'll be so awesome! Then I won't need to use my laptop anymore. Have I told you it broke down? Well it did somehow...

But oh well... There's always going to be ups and downs in life huh? I guess I am just heading downwards but I'm coming back up again!!  :)

If it is right, things will be right.

"If things are right, it will always go your way. If things is supposed to be going that way, it will come eventually." -Mabel

Today I just recieved a call from the traffold publishing singapore. The people there actually know my name!! Haha!! I don't remember reviewing the traffold publishing in singapore nor have I've even contacted them. I only remember that I was applying to several publishing companies... Lol, well I guess it is meant to be that I should publish my book because thet already asked me to publish my book through their company.

Ah, the feeling of publishing my book is such a joy because I get to have my name on a book that is written and belong to me! In fact, I even get to sell it!!

So, if any of you are excited as I am about my book... Hehehe.... Don't worry, I'll let you guys know when I will be publishing it. :)
So just have patience and I'll let you guys know when it is released!

The way home

The way back home
is a long bumpy road
The road is rocky
without a vehicle
I have to walk

Along the road
I drown myself
into my music
that I love so much
to forget the pain and fear

Growling, my stomach angers
Cursing me for not filling it up
The tall side walk grass
flows with the wind
which is the opposite way home

My hair goes wild
making me look like
a mad witch whom has
lost her broom while my feet
keeps yelling out in pain

Though there is wind
yet I still sweat
under the hot blazing sun
I grumbled with my stomach
Wishing to be home soon

But soon is when?
And when is soon?
When can I be safe
from all these bizarre things
causing my head throbbing now and then?

Unleash me

By the casement I watch,
The park and
Out to the fields
Where everyone roams
Where flowers blooms.

BY the park young
and old walked about
Intermeddling and having fun
Enjoying the warm sun
Smiling down to mother earth.

By the firelds the heifers
grazes upon the greens
MOrning dews formed and
Drank by them humming birds
that fed upon the flowers

Yet, here I am
in this lonely house
Awaiting in silence
For someone to solace
Or to be sloaced by

Though I know
that all these
were a delusion playing
Repeating in my mind
Giving me false hope

BUt I will keep waiting
Because I know
that soon
someone will come
for me. And take me home.

Hey, hey hey!

Hey, guys. It is and was labour day. So happy labour day to you all out there.

This is the day when the workers or the people get to rest and enjoy their day off for their hard work and doings for us. Let's give them workers a big round of applause for their hard work. They had done lots of things for us and so we have to have a day for them too right?

they are also supposed to be appreciated as well. In fact, though I am not a worker yet on my own but I do know that every one of them had done a big influence in our lives. Without them, we could be having troubles with our lives now.. Why? Because they are the best ever! They made things for us so our lives are simplified. Thanks to them now we can have more simpler and easier lifes.

Thank you workers. Happy labour day!!!

Key of happiness

Each and everyone of us holds the key of happiness inside of us. It is up to us where do we place the key of happiness or who do we give it to hold unto. It is best if we can just keep the key to ourself. That way we don't have to worry about who is controlling our happiness. This also can prevent ourselves from being negative all the time.

When we give others to hold onto our key of happiness, it clearly is putting expectations on others to make us happy. That means that we are depending on others to make us happy. This also gives others the advantage to make us feel something else other than happiness. It shows that others have the privillage to make you go down anytime. Because they get to pull out or take back the key from your heart and keep it in a safe.

It is best to keep it to ourselves. Why? This way, we don't have to worry about someone else taking it away from us. We don't have to depend on others to make us happy. We can be independent and be happy ourselves. We don't need someone to make us happy. Because being happy is a choice. We can choose to be happy anytime we want to be. We don't need someone to control our lives needless to say our emotions.

So, people out there! Where did you put your key? IF it is on someone else, why not take it back and be responsible for your own happiness? Don't let someone else control your emotion. We are the owner of our lives. So be the person to make yourself happy. And be the leader of your life! Be happy, Stay happy.

Homecoming

This is My land.
This is Home.
I'm home.

And here come's the home coming touchdown.
The sound of the rumble
Tyres rocking on the railway.
Kissing the road repetitively
Waking all the sleeping creatures
Sky warm and tender.
Beautifully alliging with the land and sea

Awaiting
Just for me
My feet yet awaits to kiss the ground
That I once walked on

I wait.
Waiting for it all to come to an end

When it did,
I take in my first breath
Of the air.
Of my air
Oh, my homeland air.
Hush. Listen now!
The wind is calling my name
It's telling me
"Welcome home"

The sunset does its acting cue
Putting it's best glow to show
It's gratitude for me
My return
Happy that I've finally come home.
To where I belong
Like it had always been
For ages and ages
And now, I am
Home.

H7N9

ATTENTION TO MY DEAR FRIENDS OUT THERE!! PLEASE HAVE A READ!! SAVE LIVES!

Have you heard of the recent H7N9 bird flu in China? Well, it is actually because of the spraying of a kind of cleaning detergent or something on the cages and the chickens happened to be the victims of it. Now the whole China doesn't eat poultry at all. Why? Because it is not healthy anymore.

Though we chinese people eat loads of protein from chickens and ducks but it seems like the business of poultry is going down. And therefore, we all have to become vegetarians soon. As you can see there is a new virus called H7N9 is developing. And it is developing really fast!! SO please becareful of what you are eating.

Although the frozen ones are still on sale, but it is best we avoid it as we don't know if they are infected as well or not. They may not be affected but it is still for the better to avoid them as well. Okay? And it has come down to Vietnam where they have H5N1 already. Soon and every soon each and every poulrty is out of business. And we don't have anymore meat to eat. No more protein from chickens or ducks but maybe from other animals.

However, I would suggest to turn into a vegetarian or become one. As I assume that soon everything or any animal would be harmful to us already. And I also heard that H3N2 is around. Or something like that. Just becareful out there okay? Stay healthy and be aware of what you consume.

The best food we can eat now is organic food or anything that is vegetarians. Because it is the best option we have now and the best choice we have. Stay healthy people!

Pray for Boston

My dear people who are out there. Please let us pray for Boston which is in trouble now. It is being traumatized by all the bombing. I am not asking for your sympathy for the people who lost their loved ones or the people they know.

But I ask of you to please just be so kind to pray for them. If you are christians, please pray for their souls to be in peace with God in heaven. If you are Muslim, please pray for they are resting well. If you are Budhist, please pray for their souls to rest well. If you are Hindu's please pray to your Gods for them. And if you are a free thinker, I am not sure what to do but just let's wish that they are all safe shall we?

What this world is lacking now is love. We are all lacking love and facing fear. Let's send out our love to Boston and to their loved ones. Let's hope that the lost is found, afraid is safe, loved are together, souls in peace and many more.

This is something that we should be careful now as well. Boston, if you are hearing this, I wish you be safe near your loved ones and be safe. If you have lost, you have my condolences. If you have lost someone, I couldn't do anything better but wish for you to find your loved ones as soon as possible.

Boston, my only words that I can provide you now is stay strong. I know you can get through this. I know it feels like 9/11. But this can't be blamed as the attackers are also having fear as well. They are afraid so they strike. They also need some love in them otherwise this won't be happening as well.

WORLD. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, JUST REMEMBER MY WORDS TODAY:

LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. FOR WHEN YOU HAVE LOVE, THERE SHALL BE NO FEAR OF ANYTHING, INCLUDING DEATH.

13th April

Today or shall I say this week is the not a very pleasent week for me. I felt things that I shouldn't be feeling. I am broken once again for reasons that aren't reasonable enough to explain why. I should have seen it coming. 'It' was warning me already... 'It' was already telling me not to come yet I forced myself to go. 'It' warned me not to go. Yet, I went. 'It' already made me feel uncomforatble inside. Warning me not to go because something is about to happened but I just have to go...

It is my friend's birthday today. Turn out to be a rough day for him. I knew that something is about to happen. And it was a bad thing. Not something that we all wanted. But I just ignored it. Thinking that it was just me. Thinking that it is going to be fine. I just had to be that rebelious. I just had to. Because I just want to hang out with my friends but in the end it ended up badly.

This is my punishment. This is what it has done to me. Now 'it' is lecturing me. Telling me that it told me so but I didn't listen to 'it'. Why? Am I just too selfish? Do I just have to make things go bad then I am satisfied? I am selfish am I? Knowing that something bad is about to happen and I just went on with it. Why do I just have to be selfish?

AM I SELF BLAMING NOW? OR DO I LEARN A LESSON FROM HERE? DO YOU? I'M SURE I DO...

Giving back to the world

Have you ever raised the question about how do you give back to the world?

Have you ever asked if you have given back to the world?

Have you ever think about how you can contribute back to the world that you have taken so much from?

Does these questions ever cross your mind before? I am sure it never did right? Well, maybe it did to some of you but not all. Right? Well, if it never did, then you have to start thinking about it already. If you already did, then you should start think about it already. Why you ask? Because it is about time we think about the world already.

Doesn't it concerns you if the world is going through climate change right now?

Doesn't it concerns you if the world is facing all sorts of global warming problems?

Doesn't it comes to make you think otherwise about what we are doing to the world already? If you haven't start thinking about it. IF yolu already have, then start making a difference. If you already started making a differencve, then is it working? Are you practicing your work?

Think about it. It's time you think about something already. Something that has to do with you and the world. Not judging whether you have done enough or anything. Just pure thinking about what you can do...

Margret Thatcher: The Iron Lady

Margret Thatcher is a great and strong lady. Should be remembered and will always be remembered for she has made a huge impact to the world. She has went to join the angels up above in heaven now. She not only made a huge impact to the world, infact she also influenced lots of people and generations.

She was a British politician who was Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1979 to 1990 and the Leader of the Conservative Party from 1975 to 1990. She was the longest-serving British Prime Minister of the 20th century and is the only woman to have held the office.She became the first woman to lead a major political party in the United Kingdom. She became Prime Minister after winning the 1979 general election.

Her biology is all over the news and on the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Thatcher it can also be found on the google search or any search engines that you use. If I have time I would write a whole biology of her on my blog post but then I don't have much time tonight. Since I have homeworks to do. So I guess I will jsut have to update about her as soon as I have found and research enough about her then I will post it up for you guys?

Alright that's all for the news updates from me. Have a great day and a good evening. Here I am signing off as Mabel Ngu. See you guys next time.

Never had an enemy = never really lived

"If you never had an enemy, it means that you have never really lived your life." -Anonymous

That was something that I've heard from somewhere and I forgot whom was it who said it so I placed that person "Anonymous" so that I don't get the wrong person.

Well, just because someone doesn't have any enemies doesn't mean that they never lived their life before... But it just means that they are a peacemaker or something. Either that or they probably have already lived their life and gone through the circumstances to make people not hate them. Not saying that they please them or anything. But they just have that charm to make everyone not hate them at all.

People like... me! I don't have any enemies. Even though I sometimes think I do, but it just so happened in a way that no one hates me at all. Why? Because I have a way to make people not hate me. How? Not to hate others in the first place. If you hate another, then surely you would show up as hate. Then, this will just make another person to hate you. Get the meaning of starting the fire and it will come right back to you? That is how it works as well.

Yeah, I know. You are probably saying something in front of the computer right now as you are reading. Or you may not. Just assuming.... But then, you don't know what had that person gone through. So you can't say that they don't have a life just because they don't have enemies. They just somehow made friends with their own enemies.

Have peace man. Isn't the war outside great enough for you already? Or the drama of the world entertaining for you? Why bother making people hating you when you just wanna live your life? Guess I will never understand that concept. But then, here we go. The drama starts to kick in.

The fours

Surprise, surprise. It is the 4th of April and it is 4am from where I am at least... Plus. never mind about the time it is 4th April 2013 ... and it is Thursday. So we can just rule out the 2013 and replace it with Thursday. SO it is 4day of the week, 4th day of the 4th month of the year!! Amazing huh? Get it now?! Or my sense of humour just seems to fail in a way.. But never mind. Sooner or later you will understand. IF only it is next year that we have the same situation then it would be so much better.

However, it is a sad thing to inform you guys that we can't have that... Why? Well.. thanks to how the calendar works, or the world goes around the sun... we have 28 days in Feb next year... And it isn't a leap year so we can't have that.. Meh... Oh well. At least we have it this year, and I just happened to notice it so yeah.. YAY!!!

Come on. Be merry alright? Or you are already? haha. Gotta have a laugh for a day or a while.. Keeps the wrinkles out of the way!! AND EEEEXXXXXTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD your life as well. It is good to have a laugh you know? Good things are always the cheapest sometimes. Well.. not all materail things can make you live longer as well.. So keep laughing. Cause I will be watching you...

*P.S. I am just messing with your head.. It's alright to think that I am freaky or weird now. Cause hey, how long have you been reading this blog? Once? Twice? Well you better get your butt tight on your chair cause if you are reading this you might as well read the rest. It's gonnnnnaaaa beeee bummmmpyyyyyy!!!!!

Easter Day

Hey guys, guess what? It's Easter Monday as well. Lol.. I didn't realize it at all at some point until in the morning i got a text message telling me that it is Easter Day. SO Happy Easter to those who celebrates Easter Day. Enjoy your chocolatey easter egg hunt. Just don't get mushed up with the real eggs and the chocolate eggs otherwise you might end up buying eggs in the supermarket rather than joining in the egg hunt for chocolates... If you get what I mean.. I suppose you don't. But never mind. That's kinda like an inside joke only me and some people would know. Lol..

For Christians, Happy Resurrection Day. If I am not wrong becasuse Friday was Good Friday so today must be Ressurection Day right? Please forgive me if I got it wrong because I only remember that Jesus died on the cross on a Friday and he woke up on a Monday. Somewhere in the Bible it says so.... Or I am wrong again? Ah, well. But at least in my mind Bible it says so... Hehe.. :P sorry to mess it up for you people. And I mean no disrespct though. But still happy ressurection day to all of you. And if it isn't then I guess, I need to check with my calendar again. Something wrong with it... *blush*... Anyways, either ways. God Bless You All!!

And for the rest of the world... What can I say to you? Let's see... Oh yeah. It's Monday. Which is a monday blue day or a moanday and you moan when you say your moarning...? But still Cheer up, kay? It's a new month. And a new day. It meanst a new start of life chapter. Let go of the past. Let bygones be bygones and may it never make you regret. For it is your choice that leads you to who you are today and what you are becoming to in the future.

Students, some of us are luck enough to have an "off"day shall we say from school eh? Hehe.. So what did you do today? Prank your friends that there is school today and then they turn up at school when everyone is not there? Let them think that they are early for school today or something eh? Hey, come on.. It's April Fool day.. What can you lose? It's just for fun. But don't do it too much a'ight? Don't get yourself into trouble now.

April

On Aprils, the first thing I could think of is the April fool's Day. I always wonder how did it exist in the first place? When did it start? Who started it and why on the 1st of April. Maybe I should look it up or something.. you know? But then, I think again. Nah.. It's just a tradition or something. But why do we celebrate it in the first place? No one knows. Why? Because that will be like asking why do we celebrate Valentine's Day and why it has to be on Feburary 14th.

It really does makes me curious some times when I think of it though. Well, maybe it is just a day for everyone to chill out and relax to have some fun or something you know? Like make a prank on someone. Although I don't know how it works but I do know of a message that a boyfriend could send to a girlfriend on a April fool's day. That is if he wants something special for his girl... he could send her this.

B:Uh, babe. We are not working anymore. Let's break up.
G: What? What do you mean?
B: It's not you. It's just that I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore.
G: But...why?
B: It's April fool. And I'd be the fool not to marry you.

Yeap. That's for a for a proposal. I know it is kinda ... uh.... haha you know what I mean. Oh well. I do have a prank for a guy to a girl as well.

B: Hey, (girl's name). Are you busy now? Cause I want to talk to you about something.
G: Hi. Umm.. Sure? (Or anything that the girl says. Just make sure that she is not doing anything so she can hear what you are going to say.)
B: I... umm... Do you want to be my girlfriend?
G: (She replies whatever it is. If it is yes, continue. If no, then just walk away.)
B: Really? Cool. Oh, I forgot one thing. April fool. (Then walk away)

Yyyyeeeaaaaa...... that might kinda work but it might piss her off as well. So if you are really going for that.. I suggest you get ready for something a'ight? Haha.. Oh, by the way she might say something like "Yes. Oh and April fool" So you gotta be faster than her otherwise you are the fool!! See ya guys now. Ciao  (^.^)v

Yoga??

Today is the second time I went for a yoga sesssion. AND guess what??!!! I didn't really liked it.

At first, I thought yoga is supposed to be relaxed and make you feel calm and all that. But I was wrong. It was more of the opposite. OR maybe it was just me because I am not a very active person. And I don't do much stretching excercises.. =.= That sounds lame.. Cause teenagers my age supposed to be very active in everything like sports or hanging out. BUT me? If I have my computer, I have my world.

That sounds like some of you out there too huh? Well, if you are... You need some yoga too. Though I don't really like it but I suggest you go do some yoga NOW!!! Cause it is just the first few times you might feel like your muscles are sore and you don't feel like doing it the next day. But trust me. It is going to be a great outcome to you in the future.

Let's not wait until we are saying that we have some bad backs and spine problems to deal with it. We have to deal with it now!!! I know it is going to be very painful and all that whining and crying over a stretch of your muscle cause you just can't get the pose correct. While others can do it just fine and feel like it is easy.

So whomever that is out there, having a kind of life that is like me. Which is
------------------------>>>>>> Computer = World, World = Computer <<<<<<<---------------------------
You and I my friend, got some yoga to do. Don't whine just shine. I know you can do it. I am signing off here tonight. See ya next time. (>.^) *WInks*

Think alike or not?

"Think alike like me and we can agree, think unlike me and we will never get anywhere."   -Mabel

 

Do you know why people take sides? It isn't because they are being bias to someone else. It isn't because they like that person more than the other. It isn't because they have a thing for that person. It certainly isn't because they think that the other is winning the conversation or the debate.

 

Do you even want to know why at all? The secret is they think alike. When some people are thinking like the same, they will always go to any level of conversation easily and talk together at the same way all the time.  When people think alike they can be ups and downs, high and low. Anywhere they go they are the same until they reached a point when they don't think the same and the other convice the other to be at the same level as them again.

 

Do you want to know how people succeed in business? This is their secret. The employer has a good relationship with their employees. Not the kind of realtionship that you and your very love one share, but then I mean that the kind of boss-employee relationship.

 

You have to allign your team before you do what your business is like. Before you think about opening your business, you have to make sure that everyone in your team is allign with the intention or what you are selling. The other thing is that you have to know what you are selling.

 

Service? Then ask yourself, what kind of service are you selling to the people? Who are you selling those service to? How are you going to sell your service? Are you ready for the questions that you are going to recieve? Are you ready to hear what they have to say about your service? Do you service sellers ever ask yourself that? Or do you just do what you are supposed to do so you get your salary in the end?

 

I may just be a normal student and I don't take business studies so I don't know much about business. BUT what I do know is that, if you want to success, know how to allign your team first. Know your intention behind everything before you start to do something.

You're beautiful

You are beautiful do you know that? Do you know that you are beautiful because there is no one else to define what is beautiful. I don't know why some girls would say "Yeah, as if" when someone says that they are beautiful while someone else is like "Yeah, I know right?" Even though I am also like the one who says that "Yeah, as if" but I don't really do it all the times.

When I tell someone that they are beautiful in my area, they would say "Thank you." However, people from another country or place, they would say "Pfft, right." I mean like, why don't you want to be called beautiful? I really don't get it.. Everyone can be beautiful. There is no definition of real beauty because there is no one to compare your beauty. Even if you are a twin, your inner beauty is also different from him or her.

So people, when someone tells you that you are beautiful, just say "Thank you" because you are beautiful. No one is ugly. Everyone has their own beauty. Even if it is not really beautiful, you will always look beautiful to someone. Your family. Your true lover.

A new begining

Life always starts with a begining and ends with an end. But what is the begining? When is the end of everything? We never get to know when do we have a begining because we don't know when to call it a new begining. We don't have an end without a beginging so how do we know when do we end?: You get what I mean?

To be honest with you, without a begining there is no end. If you don't have a beginging, and you don't have an end... then where are you? Have you every asked yourself where you are now in life? Have you ever wondered?

I know that I am in the middle of life when I have to learn to be more independent and learn as much as I can to get a scholarship in order to save money and go to a nice university. But some people who are at my age still have no idea of what they are doing now. They are living their life like a puppet played by a puppeteer. But their puppeteer has not an idea of what they want to do with their puppet as well. So it is like a middle of nowhere...

Do you see where I am going with this post now? If you still don't know, then I would have to say that I am not so good in writing my posts and leading people blind.. Yeah, I do admit I am not good in telling people what I actually mean sometimes. But, I guess I should just go with the real message behind this whole post.

What I really want to say is that,
Are you clear of what you are doing? Do you know why are you doing so or is it because someone ask you to do it. Have you got any intentions for yourself in life? Have you sorted out what you want to do for your own life already? Or are you just limping around the place, without an idea of what is going on and just doing what people are telling you to do?

Protein shakes

I know this sounds kinda funny why I would post something like this and it is a shocking thing. But it is because a friend of mine asked me to search and look up for him for some weight gainer powders because he is trying to gain weight for his boxing. However, I went up and look for the products and I thought of something even more cheaper. Something home-made and it is nutritional as well.

Most of the protein shakes that I found out are mostly like ice cubes and some scoops of something that you like. But then I remembered that he wants to know about the side effects as well. However, I find that even more interesting and something worth looking up for. Though it was hard to look up for, but then I managed to find some common ones.

It is said that if you use the protein shakes too excessively, you would have the chances of having liver or kidney problems because they cannot handle the excessive proteins. As we all should know that protein are used or burnt in our body as energy and used to increase the muscle strength. How? It breaks down to amino acid and goes through the liver before dissolved into the blood system through the liver.

What is more interesting is that when you use too much of protein shakes, you may get kidney stones. You will also lose the ability to digest fats and carbs properly because you rbody is already relying on the protein shakes that you are taking. You would also get dehydrated but that can be avoided if you drink lots of water. And you will also have to prepare for hair loss. AND most of all.... you may get ketosis, which is excessive stress on kindey and liver. Which then leads to ketones. It is the break downs of fats which are your proteins but unused for a long time already.

So my friends who are out there and drinking protein shakes... That is about some of the things that I understand from my research of protein shakes. If you want to find out more baout protein shakes please do go ahead. But use them when necessary but I don't really think you need it if you have a perfect and healthy diet. Signing off tonight. See ya when I have time. :D

The Real Me

My teacher in school asks us to write a speech about ourselves and then we have to give it on Monday. I took it as an opportunity to write out who I really am. I find out that I have lots to write but somehow I just don't feel like writing it down. Because that is not how I would be like in school.

I can literally see the faces of my friends in class if I write in a way that they never seen the side of me. Though one of it is about personality. That one took me a while to write it out. Why? Because I have different personalities at different places and when I am with different people.

Like when I am with my friends outside, I am very witty, cheesy, loveable and always be able to make people laugh. That would be very shocking to my friends in school because I never acted like that in school. However, that is how I am with my friends outside of school. Why? Because they accept me as who I am. They don't mind me being like someone else. I am completely different because that is who I am and how I show up to my dearest friends.

When I am in school, I am a very serious person. That is why they never get to see that humorous side of me. The side that can melt peoples heart and earn their love easily. I manipulate people and sometimes get confused with the person I am sometimes. Why? Because I play roles and sometimes I get emotional because the emotions just flows like that. That just happens to me. I just can't help it.

When I am at home, that is a different story. I am really different. If you have seen the serious side of me then probably you wont't find any difference. But if you have seen the heart-warming and kind side of me, you would be shocked like really a big wake up shot in the head.

You see, a person can be different in different places. One person may not treat everyone the same because they can be like me. They can change when it comes to a person. Even if it is right in front of you, you can be like "oh she/he is here. Have to watch out" or something like that. I think some of us can relate to that. That is why, like what I like to say, I may be an innocent looking girl who knows nothing but actually I am a girl with a broken halo.

A Miracle... Once in a while

A man in his 50's or so has heart problem. He was having tea and a great conversation with his friends late at night. Suddenly his heart beats rapidly. He hits his heart with his fist. Like when you have cardiac arrest you need to pump your heart to keep it awake or something. But it didn't work. He start to get something to rub around his chest. Didn't work at all but spiked up the heart beat instead.

The friends quickly sent him to the Regional Specialist. He met up with the doctor. They couldn't take his blood pressure because it was too high. It was about 180 and above. The doctor says to massage the pressure point on the neck so that it can be reseted. Yet again, it didn't work. This time the doctor asks him to squat down. After a few other tries of something else, his heart beat finally comes back to normal.

However, the interesting part is that in between, that man did not feel any pain at all! He just feels the same as he does. It kind of sounds like he is so numb that he doesn't feel any pain in your chest when you are having an heart attack!

Do you want to know who it is? It is my mom's old friend and formal colleague. It is an incredible thing that he is still alive until today. He was given a second chance. And it was a miracle.

This really taught me that life is very precious. You can go anytime and when you do you don't feel any pain. Which is a good thing. You feel painless when you are about to leave. Wow... There is really no time to say goodbye to anyone because you don't know when you are leaving or when you are still alive for the next day. So cherish everyday like it is your last everyone because you don't know when you are going to go.

Love life my beloved friends out there, for you only have one life and one life is all you have. Lose it and you'll never have another chance to live again.

We don't have forever

"Life's too short for forever so we have to cherish what we have now." -Mabel

Life is too short for us to reunite we don't have forever to start with so we all have to cherish what we have now. For now, is what we have. We can't control our future, neither can we change what is going to happen. We are not God and we don't get to choose what it is going to be like tomorrow. So everyone we have to take now and treat it to the fullest. You never know when things will just end right in front of you.

I finally got the chance to meet my friends who I might be seeing for the last time before I leave here. We didn't cry neither did we mourn. We just treat it like any other days. The same old days we have when we were together. It was fun. It was short. But we got what we wanted. It is to meet and have great times and memories together.

Though we may be apart for a long time but we promised to stay in touch with Skype, Facebook and Twitter. The three of us are like real friends. The kind that you never leave another behind. The kind that you rarely find outside this world.

Yes, we did fight and came to a point to break the friendship but we survived that wave. We grew. We changed. We matured. We all become beautiful ladies. Everything around us changed but the bondage between us never change. Even if it did, it would be more stronger than ever. Nothing can break us apart because we all accept who we are. That is what friendship is about. Finding someone who can accept who you are and still be able to be by your side no matter what.

Come whatever it is that is ahead of us. Even if it is million miles apart, we are still one. The Three Mouseketeers. That is what I would like to call us. Because our Chinese animal is rats. So we are the Three Mouseketeers. Nothing can change that nor beat it. This is us. This is who we are. This is the "Nie's" Coincidentally the three of us have a "nie" in our names. Winnie, Jeannie and Mabel Ngu Sze NIe. :D That's why we are the "Nie's" and The Three Mousketeers.

If you go to Thailand...

If you go to an intersting place that I would like to call Thailand, I'm telling you that place is like very beautiful. But just be careful of where you put your things.. Lol... You want to know why I know? It is because I just went there recently. And I am back now. That place is like so awesome~~~...

IF you are looking for beaches and sand. You are looking at Pattaya. It is filled with the beaches and the sand. The things there are very much fun and great. they have an isalnd tour, ski-ing. Sun-tanning but don't get sun burnt.

IF you are looking for shopping and feel like shop till you drop, then you are looking at a place called MBK, Central World, Siam Plaza or something like that. They are all very close together like in walking distance. They are the place where you can get branded products at the reasonable prices and very cheap. Of course depending on where you are from.

IF you are looking for flowers and all that romancey things like looking for types of flowers to buy... HEheHEhe... There is a place called the flower market, where you can get bouquests of roses at a very very very and I do mean VERY cheap prices. They sell roses and flowers at a very low price and they even have a whole factory of flowers to sell!! Which is like huge!!!! You should have a look yourself.

IF you are looking for restaurants and places to eat... Err... They may be elegant but I would personally prefer the places by the streets better. They have more local taste in them.

IF you are looking for places to stay... Grand China Hotel would be a good place to stay and rest, but most taxis or public transports are scared to go there because it is like very busy street. It is between the China street and the Indian street if I am not wrong about my location because it isn't so good.. hehe.. :P

IF you are looking for barganings and cheap things... Hehe. the best place to go is WALK THE STREET MARKETS!! They have lots of things that they sell at certain prices you can't afford but then they will do by all means to get to the price that you can pay them with.

IF you are looking for suggestions from me, cause I am just too good in suggesting you places as eveidence from above, haha jks. You should visit their temples, and have a river trip across the river. That is the best I can tell you about Thailand. And don't forget to bring along your medication for stomach pains cause you might need them when you eat things that you don't usually eat.

And you have to try their local food. They are unbelievablely tasty and don't forget to watch the TIffany show at Pattaya. It is very faulouso!!! And it is really like very funny and beautiful men. They are men dressing like women. And I do mean like they look so much like women that you don't realize that they are men.

Oops... The cat is out of the bag... The curiosity is out again.. Oh crap, I wonder how it would end up like. Wouldn't you like to know either? Hmm... I hope you will enjoy your time there if you are going!!! AND if you do, send me a postcard will ya? ;)

Love Day

Today as it always is a Love Day to the couples. So to all couples out there, Happy Valentines Day!! To all my friends out there, who I can seem to come in contact with, you all have my best wishes on Valentine's and asked to be my Valentine today. Haha. I know that the clock is going to stike 12 soon from where I am but I am sure that half of the world out there are still celebrating V-Day. So Happy Valentine's Day to you guys across the world.

Probably in France or Paris, Love is in the air. And for places at war, may you have one day of rest for the love to pass by.. Well, for places in peace like where I am from.. hehe Stay peaceful as always will ya? Love you guys out there! As always and will always keep you guys in my heart because to me, you all are like my family and friends. And as a Scorpio, Family and Friends always comes first. So no matter where you are, who you are, what you are. I will always be here if you need me.

For those out there who thinks that they are celebrating Valentine's Day alone... Well, change of plan.
I am here, and you've just met me. You've got my number, so call me maybe?
 Haha. I know you don't have my number but reading my posts are just the same as well. 

Betrayal

I have no idea why but my English teacher just wants us to write something about betrayal. I totally forgot the reason why we have to write this again.

How could you?!
Leave me behind
In this place
We called home

How could you?!
LEave everything to me
Not letting me know
What's actually going on

How could you?!
Left me on cold feet
In this dark room and
This empty house alone, scared.

Why don't you
Just kill me
Now with that
Knife of yours

Why don't you
Just stay behind and
I'll pack my bags
I'll leave this place

Why don't you
Just stand right there so
You can  watch me while
I crush your heart this time.

Happy Excited Love War Peace

These words on the title up there are the words that my Irish teacher wants us to include in our poetry so I did this:

Pulse rate faster
Breathing gets harder
Heart keeps melting
This is when it's exciting

Thump, thump, thump
You make me feel so numb
My emotins get controlled by you
Ask me why I'm so happy I'd say it's you

Huff, huff, huff
I'm going out of breath
I can never win this horrible war
Can we stop this all?

Beep, beep, beep
My heart is going to flee
You make me feel so high and so low
And now I'm so in love

Serenity, calm and peace
These words comes in threes'
Thank you for loving me back
Otherwise I'd be out of track

WOAH!!!

Boy am I glad to see so many people viewing my post tonight. Haha. I am terribly sorry for not updating as soon as possible because I couldn't get online due to my internet problem. But I gotta say, You guys are really impressive. I am really appreciative about that. Thank you guys so much for viewing it.

Well, things are getting heavier these days AND with loads of homeworks to be done but I still will not forget to come back here and talk to you guys out there about what I've learnt so far. I am still amazed about how you guys managed to take your time to read through my posts. I really can't thank you guys enough. You have no idea how great you guys  make me feel tonight. It has really complete my day.

Oh did you guys realize that it is the 6th of Feb already? Time flies huh? Yeah, it does. So appreciate time as well my friends. Life's too short for worries because you already have enough to worry for today. Don't start about tomorrow when your today isn't done yet. And as a kind of a reward... HEHE... I am gonna post two posts of my latest poem for the next two nights individually. And be prepared to be amazed by what you are going to read. HEHE. :D

Laws that affect teenagers

I never seem to know that there are laws that may affect teenagers these days.. Clearly, I have to actually keep up with the rest of the world right now. Sound like I have been left behind while the world is asking me to keep up with it. Hmm.. Sounds like something to do in the weekend.

So far, I know that laws that affect teenagers are laws that came to affect on January 1, 2012? Which is like last year? Yeah, even thought they are last year but then hey, do you know how long it takes to make a law? Well, here in malaysia they would kinda summarize it to one page and tell you all about it but then in the Great Britian? UK? US? It takes longer time because they have to think about the laws. Goes through Parliment. Then over to someone else with higher role. Then again to another person higher than them. And in the end, if it is successful it gets to the Goverment or the King and Queen (for the countires that still have royal families) and then it becomes a law.

Before it is a law it is called a "bill". I have not an idea why it is called a "bill" but I do know that they are to be known as bill. If they fail halfway, they would have to go all over again from the first stage. Rephrased and used again until it is a law. Some of the Goverment bills are also amended halfway to make sure that they stay on the track to the process of becoming law.

SO, laws are not as easy as it looks like it is. Because the Parliment have to look at a toilet paper long bills that wants to become laws. There are also these so called Private Bills. Their bills are made from organisations who wants specific power and control over the things that they are under.

And so... let's move on from the laws and we will talk about it some other day shall we because it is going to be a long one as I am asked to research about what the title of the topic is. And what I have found out now sounds rather interesting... Which is something that teenagers should be looking at. And so does parents so they are aware of the things that their teenagers are doing.

My fellow teen readers ou there. Please forgive me. It is for your own good I promise. *quickly runs away before you start shooting arrows*

Masks of life.

Early yesterday morning.. I mean like very early morning. Early as in 2 or 3 am early yesterday morning, I had a talk with my brother about masks. And I find it rather interesting, so I decided to share it with you guys about what he told me. BUT not in exact words.

We all wear masks in life. Because everywhere we go, we play a role. At home, we play a role as a family member. At school, we play a role as a student body. At work, you play a role as an employee or employer. At the society, you play a role as a citizen, friend, stranger, partner or anything that you may be. But everytime we step into a different environment, we play a different role and we wear a different mask.

We all have to wear a mask so that we can survive out in the society. Just thinking of it, being yourself doesn't get you nowhere because not everyone would accept you the way you are unless they have gone through a motivational class or a class that talks about life. Not everyone goes to that kind of thing so it is hard for them to accept you as who you are out there.

So, even if you want to be yourself, you still have to put on a mask or something to hide yourself. The true you. Because sometimes the "you" inside you may not be a pretty sight. Not saying that everyone doesn't have a pretty sight inside but just some people may not. I am sorry if I have caused some misunderstanding but this is life. And I know I am being too straight-forward but this is life. And we all have to face it. So yeah, tough luck. Therefore, this is the mask of life.

This mask of life is the mask that I am going to put on. But I am only putting it on to cover up the dark side and the unpleasent sight of me. Though some people may think that someone is perfect, but then everybody's got their own dark side. No one is perfect you know? It's the fact. A universal fact that we all have to face. No one in this world is close to perfect because we don't have a perfect to define ourselves to.

I'm tired. Are you?

I'm tired.. Are you?

NOPE! I'M WIDE AWAKE BAYBEH!

Sleeping at 4:13 am in the morning and waking up at 8:43 am in the morning. Even though I tried it before, but I never know that I can still be awake throughout the ceremony in the church this morning. Gosh, where in the world did I get all those energy from? I mean I don't even feel like sleeping at all. Okay, okay. I did take a few second naps when the people are talking about Christ up on stage but I was fine. Just several quick naps and then I am fine.

Is this adrenaline or what? I mean like I don't think I ever want to sleep at all this early morning though. I don't want to get to sleep at all. I felt like I could cope with not sleeping at all. Because it is past my sleeping hour and I just want to stay awake all night long. I just have the feeling that it is pointless to sleep at some point.

But that would make my sleeping schedule gone wrong or something. It would make my body think that you don't need to sleep and you jsut need to stay awake. Like you don't need to rest or something like that. Thank goodness my little cousins weren't with us this morning because they are seperated from us who are known to be the elder ones.

However, this morning I saw some people who looked like someone I know. Haha. For those who think that I am going to say "Somebody that I used to know" then you may as well sing the song. But I wasn't. If you aren't going to say or thinking of that... then it probably means that that song didn't get you in the head or brain-washed you somehow. So congratulate yourself for not being brain-washed.

Get a life...

Get a life. Ahem, get a life? You tell me to get a life? Please you don't know what life is yet and you are telling me to get a life? Uh, hello?? Just because you see me write a whole book of notes from the textbook and references doesn't mean that I don't have a life. I have a life AND I can assure you that it is way better than yours.

You think that I don't have a life? Yeah, I don't go out like most of you do. Yeah, I don't hangout with you guys much. Yeah, I don't get to go out with my friends much because I don't have the privillage like you guys do. Yeah, I have a very low life, but that doesn't makes me have a no life person! You have no right to call or say that I have no life at all. I have a life. And it is way cooler than yours.

You want to know what it's all about? It's about being with my family while you guys are out there going out wasting precious time and money on something else that only brings you fun and memories with your friends but not bonding with your family. It's about learning about life as I know it unlike you guys who only know how to get to where you want to and play as much as you want for the rest of the year. It's about being alive while you guys are still unaware and immature.

You may think that living life is about having fun at this stage, but it isn't! Yeah, I know... This is the only age when you can play and have fun with your body now. But guess what?! I'm making a better choice. I prefer to do my own things my way and call it my life. IT IS MY LIFE! NOT YOURS! SO DON'T JUDGE AND SAY THAT I HAVE NO LIFE WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IS LIFE

Say thank you

Say thank you,
When you recieve something from others.
Let them know that you appreciate what you recieve from them.
Let them know that you are grateful of it.

Say thank you,
When you finish eating,
To the chef who cooked, be it mother or maid or someone else.
Let them know that you are happy with the food that they served you with.

Say thank you,
When you are paying,
To the cashier who gives you the change,
Let them know that you are happy with what you bought.

Say thank you,
When you are in school,
To the teacher who taught you something,
Let them know that you are grateful with what you have learnt.

Say thank you,
In everything you do,
Be positive about life,
Then you can recieve positive things back.

It's me again...

It's been a week when I last posted something here. Do you guys miss me? ;P I had been very busy myself for the last week. I came back from a camping. I was selected for a prefect. I am writing my new book for homework. Also, homework has seem to have increased as usual. Though it is supposed to be expected, my cousin sister is also here and left today.

Things are starting to get heavy now on my side. I hope that it won't get any more heavier than it is now... Oh well, I seem to have gone out of ideas of what to write... I kind of have no inspiration again. I need inspiration of things to write about. To be frank, whenever I don't post something, it is because I am out of inspiration, tired or just don't have the time to post things up.

Two weeks of church

I ended my last week of 2012 by going to church on a Sunday. And I started a new year of 2013 with going to church again as well. I went with my cousins and aunt.

It was like the church I went before. They have their sessions on Sundays. Yeah, I went to church when I was a young child. Back in my hometown but I am still a free religion person. Yes, I have not baptised. Yes, I have accepted Jesus as my saviour as we are supposed to be. We were told to accept him as our saviour and we will be saved. It didn't say that we have to be a christian to go to His kingdom.

Alright back to my topic, going a little off just now haha.. Ok where were we? Oh right, this is my second week of being in a church. I actually went there because I thought I might seek some answers to my questions. But I seem to be singing verses and listening to the people there talking about requirting brothers and sisters to Christ.

I noticed that in there they called each others Brother (name) and Sister (name). It kinda feels homey like that but not so... I have no idea why but I suppose that is because the aura isn't there... But I think other than that, everything else is fine. :D

First week

The first week of 2013 already ended don't you know that? Do you realise that? Are you aware of the time moving so fast without us knowing it? What does that tells us? It tells us that time moves on even if we don't move on. It doesn't even matter if we are not going anywhere or doing anything, but it still ticks and tocks away.

I guess I know that we all have to move on from regrets and thoughts. We sometimes think too much. That makes us do nothing at all in the end. Like what my English / Moral teacher told me. When we think too much about something we end up doing nothing at all. I find that sort of true in a way. You think about what will happen if you do something. You think about what are the consequences of not doing it instead. It's called wavering.

When we think too much, we will have worries. Why do we worry? Like I said just now, you think about what might happen and not happen when you do it. Then you will have fear. The fear of losing something. The fear of something happening. Why do we have that fear, because we don't know if we are making the right descision.

That leads us to.... *Drum rolls* lack of belief and trust. What makes me think that it is the answer? Simple. When you have worry, that means that you are not believing in what you are doing now.

That's why people. When you worry, keep calm. Find peace. Then get the worry out of you. Woosh it away. If you get what I mean. Think about something happy. Even better is that keep yourself in serenity. It is hard to find serenity but at least try not to think much about the things that makes you feel uncomfortable. That way you don't have to be frowning all the times.

Most of all, Love yourself people. For Love is the word to conquer Fear.

First day of school

It's the first day of school. That means homeworks, teachers, get ready for tests, and all that things that had been done last year have to be started all over again. Instead, this year is much more intense because it is my critical year. I know that means that I have to really get into everything and be serious about everything I do.

However, the first day is a not bad day to start with. I get some homework as expected, but I had the best homework ever. It requires me to write a book on my own. YAY!! THis is the first time I get to write a book for school and as a homework.

This is going to be exciting~~~. I suppose that most of you guys might htink that I am crazy because I say that writing a book for homework. And I am quite sure that it is okay to assume that you all must be thinking that "Why would she say that writing a book is the best homework ever?" Well, let me tell you this I like... no wait... Let me rephrase. I LOVE to write books and I LOVE writing. That's why I would say that it is the best homework ever given. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Don't worry people. I am still in my right mind. I just somehow love writing too much already. Oh not to mention, it is kinda weird that many people are getting sick on the first day of school. So please beware my fellow friends who are students. Please take good care of yourselves okay? Good luck for the rest of the day and PMR students and SPM students!

Stu-dying?? What the heck?

Stu-dying?? What the heck? Seriously people? I mean is studying really killing you? Don't you think that working kills you too? DO you seriously think that studying really kills you? If you think that studying kills you what do you want to do then? Work? I know I am not supposed to take this seriously and it's just a joke but have you ever think of why or what is the reason you are going to school?

Well, let's see... Your parents work hard for you so you get to go to a good school or a place to study and get education so you have a brighter future. I know I have no say in this nor do I have a point to start with because I am not a working person or a parent yet (not that I am thinking of being the latter) but still have you ever thought for your parents before?

I know it sounds very weird that I am a student and I am not thinking like most of you do because I also have problems studying just like you do. I am also going through everything you are going through. But don't you just feel teensy-tiny-little-bit of gratefulness inside of you that your parents work so hard for you and your future?

If you are not happy with studying then go out and work. Why work and not stay at home? Where do you think that computer or free-wifi in your house comes from? Where do you think that comfy couch or bed you sleep in comes from? You seriously think that you can get free food everywhere you go?

It all comes from hard work. Your parents worked so hard for you so you have a computer to use, bed to sleep in, food on the table to fill up your stomach and food in the fridge when you are hungry. You think that you can get it just like that when you are out there in the society? When it is your turn? When everything is depended on you?

If everything would be so easy then everyone can just shake legs and starve. There is no such thing as free lunch in this world. If you don't want to study then let your parents to rest. They don't have to work so hard to bring you to school where you do nothing but waste their money there. They should save it for themselves and have a good trip around the world. They don't owe you anything. SO why should they suffer for your future?

There are kids out there that wants to learn and don't even get the chance to get to have their hands on books, shoes, pencils even uniform. So why do you complain so much when you have everything that others don't have the privilage to have? Why not use your school fees on them instead to let them have a better life? Why not give it to those who are grateful to have education and have a better life than you?