New year

Happy new year to you.
Happy new year to you.
Happy new year to everyone!
Happy new year to you.

2014 won't be awesome, great or amazing. But if you show up as so, it will be as so.

Law of attraction applies like karma

No more pain.

Heart.
Shatters all over the cold, hard ground.

Mind.
All clouded with thoughts without answers.

Body.
Unable to move. Not a single muscle.

Soul.
Nowhere to be found.

This is when I stop.
Think.

Be in peace.
Find myself again.

Gather my pieces.
Clear my mind.

Crack the frozen muscle
Capture my soul.

Once again.
Once for all.

Once and no more
No more shall I be hurt like this.

No more...
For I don't deserve this

No more...
For I deserve better.

No more...
For I am strong enough to move on.

Merry xmas

Hey guys! Merry Christmas all over the world!

I have decided to just stick to one blog only to make less confusion.

If you did saw my other blogs, I'm sorry if I made you confused.

And thank you for reading all these while!

Best of wishes and lucks!

I'll see you on new year!

Here's a joke

A man tries to impress the sales lady that he knows how to speak English. Even using colors!!

*mimicks phone ringing*
Green. Green.

*mimicks to pick up phone and speak*

"Yellow?

Blue is this?

White do you want?

If you don't say then don't call me black!"

*mimicks putting down phone*
*does a chin nod at the cashier*

My endless night.

My last.

When I was a kid...

When I was a kid, I have all that the other kids have. All except the leisure, fun, and friends.

For my classmates who are girls, they think of me as a middle person. The kind that you push around and stuff.

For my classmates who are guys, they think of me as someone to tease and mock.

All my elementary years, even when I moved school, it's like that.

Other kids remember about having fun with their friends, reading  playing and doing all sorts of kiddy stuff together.

I remember the ructions I had to go to right after school. I had school from 7 to 12. Then afternoon tuition from 2 to 4. On tues and thurs night, I have tuition again from 7 to 9. Sometimes, I get home around 10.

I didn't get much time even though it is on weekends. On sat, I have maths tuition in the morning. On Sun, I have art class in the morning. Then I have ballet in the afternoon.
There was once when my brother was sick, so he couldn't come to tuition with me. So when the tuition ended, everyone went home except for me.

I had tuition at night that day, if I remember correctly it was a Tuesday. It was almost 6:30pm and no one came to send me home yet. At that time we didn't have any handphones, not because we can't afford but because our parents doesn't want us to misuse it.

6:45pm, my dad came to fetch me. I didn't have time to shower or rest. I just had my dinner, change my tuition bag and then rush for the other tuition.

I was already late but then I was forgiven as it was my first time being late. Although the teacher was very strict but she knows me well as I am a hardworking student so she let me off the hook that time.

There are many things I remember about my childhood but most of them would be studying, homework, getting caned, and being teased.

I also remember that I was scolded by the teachers only because I have the wrong answer to her question or didn't finished the homework given the day before. I told her I have tuition homework as well and she caned me again saying that's an excuse for not doing her homework.

The Wednesday, following the incident on the Tuesday I told you about just now, was the day that I got caned more than 5 times in school and afternoon tuition on my palm for not finishing my homework.

Title and content

I remember when I was about 14 years old, my passion for writing comes alive. I started writing poems and stories. That's because I just love writing things.

Then one day when a book brochure came to our school. It has the writing competition inside the brochure as well.

There were there titles to choose from to write about. But then only one of the story struck me as easy topic.

It was "my family"

At that time, I thought it was talking about my whole family and say about what they are and such.

In the end I didn't send my article although my friends encouraged me but my mom didn't know anything about it.

Thinking back about it now, I realize that even if I did sent my story with 800-1000 words in Times New Roman font and size 12.

I won't even get the prize at all. Because they were talking about my family. Not who they are, what they like and so on.

It's about how much I know about my family. It comes in different aspects. But I know that the way I write my story won't get any prize because that'll be too cliche.

Things in mind..

There are several things in mind that I always wanted to talk about but then I constantly forgot about them after doing something else.

Here it goes:

Exams are over,
School is over,
Monthly tests are over,
Piles of homework are over.

And I still can't think of something to do,.
Something that I am interested in,
Something productive,
Something that I can do on my free time,.

But then come to think again, I am only good in writing. That's all I am ever good in.

English. Yeah, like a nerd.
Bio and chem. Yeah, I suppose...
Talking? I am not too sure about that.
So here I am back to blogging...

My 10 Confessions

1: I don't really think before I talk or do anything. So practically I am impulsive. That's why sometimes I don't even know what I am doing at all.

2: I prefer people online than people in reality. I am the kind of person that seeks comfort in virtual world. I know that, but I just like to be in comfort.

3: I pretend to be stupid. Yes, I know. I have a brain. A brain for me to think, and rethink about what I am going to do and yet, I don't think with it. Like I said, impulsive.

4: I hurt everyone who cares, loves and dear to me. I am addicted to pain and yet I brought pain to the ones I love as well.

5: I make people worry about me all the time. I know it sounds stupid because you are not supposed to make people worry for you yet I do.

6: I am not aligned with my brain, heart, soul and body. Nowhere near aligned. That's why I do things and not understand what I am doing.

7: I am a blank. Seriously a blank. The reason is I don't have anything in mind at all. I don't even know what I am staring at or thinking about. Until I am completely aware of it.

8: I am most of the time insane. Unless I am really aware then I am considered sane.

9: I love studying and I am a nerd/geek. BUT I don't understand any language that nerd/geeks exchange. I just don't.

10: I mumble most of the time because I am just lazy to open my mouth to talk properly. When I do, I get frustrated. And most of the time, I talk my own language that only people at my wavelength can understand. If you aren't or don't understand then it means that you are not at my wavelength which is hard to get to.