Life isn't simple as we know it...

Life is never simple as we know it even though I have mentioned a lot of times that it is simple jsut the way we look at it. Sometimes, we have to look at things from someone else's point of view as well. As in we have to empatize others or put ourselves into their shoes and think about what they are going through before we have a say in everything.

There we go.. My shortest post ever... Lols...

Last day of 2012

Hey my buddies out there!!! It's the last day of 2012 here and it's still afternoon now. This is the day that most of us never thought would be. This is the day that most of thought that we will never get to see or go through. The day that we all thought will never come at all. And yet, here we are. Still here. Alive. Because of one simple prophecy that gone wrong and everyone thought that we are going to die a week ago but no.

Just want you all to know that it has been great to know you all from all around the world. It is also great to see that lots of people are reading my blog recently. Well, keep it up guys! The more you come and read my posts, the more I am motivated to let you know what I would like to share with you all around here.

I have got something to let you guys know before next year starts and I might not have the time to say it anymore. I might be missing for quite some time for next year. Because it is my critical year. It is very important to me as education has always been very important to me in my life. Well, what can I say? I love studying and knowing more about things. What I don't understand is that why kids these days don't like to study at all. And this leads to my next post... So if you want to hear more about this generation... Which I am sure that most parents do or people these days do, then you are most welcomed to read my next post!!!

Not to mention... Before I end this post... I LOVE YOU ALL OUT THERE WHO READ THIS POST!!! OH AND FOR THOSE WHO DIDN'T DON'T WORRY... I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO! HAHA..

Nature day

Today I went out to have a nature day with my uncle and aunt. We had an adventurous day into the forest. We went all the way up to the moutains where the cluds hugs the tip of the mountains. The whole view was so beautiful. We could see the sea from the near-top of the mountain. The greens are so beautiful and made my heart flutter.

I took several pictures of the road. The view was jsut perfect but I don't have the camera or equipment with me to take down those pictures. Sadly... However, I did see lots of greens and it sooths my mind. Clears my head out. I was poking my head out of the car roof top for certain moments to look outside and get fresh air. Clear my head get it?

I took one picture of myself by the river, in front of a straight road. Jumped, make a pose of myself holding the clouds, even take a picture that made me look like I am flying in mid-air! I wish I had my cable with me tonight but I don't. So maybe another time when I do have it I'll show you the picture of the greens at my place!

It's a tiring day, but it is worth it. Love you all. Nights!

Too much isn't good either.

Too much of good thing is a bad thing.
Too much of a bad thing is a bad thing as well.
When you have too much of everything it will turn out to be a disaster.
Everything has to be balanced.

When we have too much of good things then we will not appreciate anymore. We tend to forget how to appreciate things when we have too much of good things. We don't remember to say 'Thank you' or be grateful for the things around us. We have to be grateful for the things we have around us even if it is just a breath.

When we have too much of bad things, we will keep on doing bad things. Or we will always get those bad things towards us. I mean no one likes bad things do they? No one in their right mind likes to have bad things coming their way right?

Too many cook spoil the soup remember? So when you have too much of everything here and there, the soup will turn out to taste like something that you wish you never tasted before. If you get what I mean...

Everything has a balance. Look at Ying and Yang. It's black and white. But they both have two small spots of colors of the opposite. It tells us that whenever there is a bad thing, there is always a good thing behind it. Not always, but just try to look at things at a different perspective.

We can see the future (part one)

My beloved readers,

 

It may sound weird to you when I put up this kind of title doesn't it? I mean who can see the future right? Heh, well actually, to be frank. We all can see the future. We cannot see others future or what is going to happen in the next second, but we can see our own future. They say that we cannot see the future for it can be changed. Therefore, I am telling you this. I challenge whoever says that we cannot see the future with this sentence: "If we cannot see the future then why are we planning for it?"

 

If we cannot see the future, then why should we plan for the future? Why do they say that the seed we plant today is the seed of the future? If we are not seeing the future, then what are we doing now? If you were to ask me, "How do we see the future?" I can give you the answer very quickly and assure you that it is something that we do in our everyday life. Unless, of course you are not thinking what is going to happen when you do something.

 

We can see the future by thinking about the future. By looking at the future's point of view. By placing ourselves ahead of time and think about what will happen when we do something. The future can be next year, month, day, hour, minute even second. It can be anytime. As long as it is not gone, then it means that it is still there. You may not know what is going to happen next or when you are going to be in another place, but somehow, you can make your way to that future. Do you get what I mean?

 

It may sound complicated so let me give you an example. Let's take students as an example. We study and as a student body, I know that other than study we do revisions as well to make sure that we understand and remember what we have learnt. Why? We study to prepare us for test that we are going to have for mid-year and end of the year exams. And of course in between we have monthly tests. Why do we have to have these tests? To help us remember what we have learnt and get it into our brains. Why do we need to remember all these things? So that we can use it as basics in the society and get into a field of jobs that we are interested in doing.

 

Now, how does all these relate to seeing the future? Let me explain. We study the basics in school so we know how to apply it in our future jobs that we are going to apply to. School is just the basement of everything. It is our baby steps into life. And life? It is out there in the future. That is when we learn how to run without falling down. When we do fall down, we have to learn how to get back up on our own. Make sense now? Even just a little bit? Okay. Moving on…

Now that we are planning our future, that means we are already looking at our future. We are setting up a goal in front of us and we are planning to go towards it. Therefore, we are already looking at our future. The future.

Merry (late) Christmas

Hey, guys. I am so sorry for not being able to wish you guys Merry Christmas and Christmas Eve. I was busy doing something and I couldn't get on my computer. SO please forgive me. I promise I won't let it happen again...

Well, Christmas is over and we are all still here alive. And so, the Mayans are wrong about the end of the world now aren't they. But even so, we can't blame them to be wrong. They 'PREDICTED' that it would end on 21/12/12 but I am sure that they did not 'confirm' with their Gods or whatever that is that they believe in that it is on that day.

So, instead of blaming them, we should be appreciative that we are still alive. It is a false alarm that caused the whole world to be in shock. But still, we have to be alert. It may not be the correct date of when we will die or when the world would come to an end. It may just be a prediction gone wrong. Who knows, it may not be our turn to go yet?

We still have to move on with the life that is given to us right? Even though it is wrong, so be it. They may have cried wolf the first time but they may not be wrong the second time. It is something to do with how much belief do we have in them.

It is already said to be a prediction. It did not said that it is going to be, right? I am not siding anyone on this. Because what I know is that, if we live our life to the fullest everyday, we don't have to worry about what is going to happen to us in the next few years, or when will we die. Because we already know that we are living the life that we are supposed to be living already. Healthy, loved and enjoying life as we know it.

Cheers to my good lads who were celebrating Christmas!

Great choices made

"A great choice made is a great choice indeed." -- Mabel

I went to the bookstore yesterday and I made a big choice. As a reader, and a real big reader, I made a choice to put down the book that I was looking for a long time. It was a fictional literature. It is an international bestseller. And as a reader like me, who loves to read, I chose to put down the book and leave it back on the shelf. I realize that I am wasting money on books. Not in a way of wasting money like throwing them to the sea, but more like buying the book but I know that I won't have time for it.

It was the last book on shelf. It took me a year and a few months to wait for it to arrive in the bookstore. Last time, I left it there because my mother won't let me buy it. But this time, I made the choice myself. I decieded to leave it there on the shelf. It doesn't have the same cry for my eyes anymore than it did last time.

That was when I knew that I won't be reading it anymore. I love books just as much as I love myself. Sometimes, I go to the bookstore, I wished that I had enough money to buy it all back. But no. I can't be that selfish. I had to learn how to let go of things that we know we won't have time for it.

Deep quotes that people don't believe it is originally from me.

人生有三条路。每一条路都有几把手。
第一条路是明光的路。那条路的手最多了。当你需要帮忙的时候都会有人帮你。
第二条路是不清楚的路。那条路会有手把你拉回来。也会有手扶着你走下去。看你选择走还是回岸。
第三条路是暗路。辛运的话会有手把你拉回来。也有可能是出现了一下就没了。
只要你记得，路是自己选的。不要到最后怪人没叫你回岸会把你扶下去

In life there is three roads. Every road has a few handy hands.
The first road is a brightly lit road. That road consists of lots of hands to suppport you on your journey to your goal.
The second road is a misty road. That road has hands that is pulling you back to the start. It also has hands on your sides to keep you from falling so you can go on. Providing you wit hope and faith. It is your decision to move on or to go back to the start and start all over again.
The thrid road is the dark road. Now on that road, if you are lucky, you get hands to pull you back before you cannot come back again. And there are hands that appears for a while and then leaves you walking blind.
But just remember that road is chosen by yourself. Don'tr blame others for not pulling you back to the start when you are almost falling down or supporting you on your journey to success.

This is real and original from me and myself. Please do not think that I took any ideas from anyone or any sources as everything here is original. It is from me and quoted by me only.

 

请你。。。

请你不要生气的时候就咒我去死好不好？我还想活的。你不喜欢我在这里你可以远离我啊。你还可以把我丢在一旁不管。没人叫你一定要管我。我知道我的来临对你来说很讨厌。是的，我就是那么的很讨你的厌。但是你可以不要讨厌我啊。你自己说的，自己的快乐或悲伤不是人家给你才有的。是你自己选择要有的。你的开心不是别人的责任。那敢问，为何我的生死会感染到你的快乐呢？

请你不要生气的时候拿我和我婆婆做比较好吗？她是我的婆婆。她已经一把年纪了，你拿她和我来比较干啥啊？老人家了当然会为自己找想先嘛。难道世界上不会有人先想想自己在想想别人吗？难道你不会吗？你自己还不是一样的你却去说别人有错？那就奇怪了。难怪他的习惯是从你学来的哦。你自己说过的，别人做的事是你也有做过的。那他现在的习惯也应该是因为你也常常那么做咯？对不对啊？啊？说啊？解释，解释。让我听听。

请你不要因为你工作的烦恼放到我们的头上来好不好？我们是人来的。不是你捡回来的出气筒。做出气筒也算了啊，你还把我们当佣人看待。这也罢了。你还跟别人说我们在家里就是你的佣人了！你羞不羞耻啊？蛤？你没次说不要丢你的面子，那你呢？你这不是丢这家的面子吗？好啊。尽然你那么爱丢面子，那我也帮帮你。 在这里丢你的面子好吗？尽然你都不当我们是什么人了。你也不管我们是你的什么了。那你还拿面子来干嘛？丢光了不就跟好吗？啊？

请你不要每一次有人做错事情的时候乱指手怪人好不好？明明就不是我做得你就说是我。冤枉啊。我真的会被你冤枉到天翻地乱啊。不是我做得你就偏偏说是我做的坏事。是他人做的也会变成我做的，有没有搞错啊？你会不会太糊涂了吧？啊？是我做的好事你就说是你做的决定。不是我做的坏事你就乱来看到人就乱来骂人说是人家的错。讲些道理好不好？人没错，你就说人有错。人对时候你就说是你做的事。应该是老了，糊涂了吧？是他做的事会变我做的事出来。你以为是变魔术吗？要说是谁的错就说是谁吗？不喜欢那个人就把罪放到他人的头上吗？这样很不公平的。讲人要讲理。不要随地的口水喷人。ok?

请你好好的反省反省啊。是，我应该孝顺，应该听你的。不过我说啊，我不够孝顺你吗？做你的佣人被你每天叫来叫去的。做你的出气筒被你骂。做你的手脚被你叫做这做那的，得空都没得空了。想要做自己的事都不能了。能够做的时候都不知道要做什么了。这还叫生活吗？这还是人过的生活吗？算了，不说了。我口水没你多。气不比你大。再说下去可能还可以写成书出来呢。懒惰和你说下去。至少把一些都写出来了。轻松多了。不说了。再说的话真是火上加油。

12/12/12

This year will be the last year we have double digits. After this, we will have to wait another thousand year to get this year again. It may seem like last years post. But this time it is different already. Because it will be the last one we can get.

今年是我们最后一次有一样的号码的一年了。过了今年，我们得再等一千年后才会再有像今年一样的一年了。这可能会像上一次的文章，不过今年不一样。这是我们这一代最后一次又的了。

An inside joke for Twilight fans, when the next double digit years are here again, we won't get to be here anymore but Bella and Edward Cullen. That is if they stay away from troubles that are to come. If you don't get it that's fine. Maybe my joke isn't good enough.  

Twilight Saga 的粉丝，有个冷笑给你们。下一次像今年一样的一年的时候，我们可能都不在了，但是Bella 和 Edward Cullen 会国道这样的一年。当然如果他们没有在出事的话。呵呵。。。 不明白的话没关系。可能是我的冷笑话不够冷吧。

我的诗

农夫啊农夫，
我说您是否伟大。
您种的米是够您家人吃
还够卖给自己国家和别国。
让所有人都填饱三餐不挨饿。
了不起啊了不起。

工人啊工人，
我说你是否用工。
太阳公公那么热大，
您的身体都是汗水珠，
您还是能够继续的做工。
看来风雨雷劈都难不过您啊。

父亲啊父亲，
我说您是否强壮，
像工人一样您在外头
拼命的做工赚钱回来养家。
辛苦你了啊父亲。

母亲啊母亲，
我说您的爱是否伟大。
像个农夫一样您每天都会
先为了我们这些孩子们找想。
深怕我们会挨饿或生病之类的，
直到自己生病了也不知道啊。

兄弟姐妹啊，
我说你们是否辛福，
身旁都有人照顾你们，
外头有阿姨叔叔关心你们。

你们都看见了吗？
听见了吗？
感到了吗？
这是爱。
无条件的爱。
用金钱也买不回来的爱啊。
要好好珍惜啊。

不要生在福中不知福啊。
不见了就不见了，
没了就没了，
讨不回的。
明白吗？

大家好~

嗨，大家好。相信这是我第一次用华语来写文章给大家吧。呵呵。应为是我第一次用华语来写文章所以大家应该是很惊讶吧？不要吓倒哦，因为我是来之马来西亚的华人。我想要证明给大家看，马来西亚的华人也是会写华语的。

我认识了好几个中国的朋友。他们都很惊讶我们马来西亚的华人会写和说所谓的正确的华语。我只好回答他们说：“华人会写华语才值得骄傲。不然不会写华语还不会说华语的话，我们的祖先会很失望。因为我们来到了别人的国家也得至少还会说华语。要不然，做华人没意思了。

我虽然不是很会写华文诗但是我还是要写一写。尝试尝试一下。

My grandfather

It's a Sunday. And sundays are supposed to be family days. But today, I would like to talk about my grandfather. I know I should be moving on from this already as I have stated on my previous post. But there is something that is very miraculous about my grandfather before his death. His FINAL death.

I know it sounds creepy to say it is the 'FINAL death' but I have my reasons. It is because he is alraedy clinically dead but his soul is still in his body. That makes me think otherwise about his death. When and what time is it actually?

The clinical death is when he can't speak and open his eyes already. BUT somehow he is still concious. Somewhere inside him he is still alive. He can still nod his head and listen to us. I was told that during the time of his flight back to Miri he had to be stopped. Because he can't come back from the KL International Airport. The Airline won't let him through and then we have an episode of breakdown and panic, which I am not going to go far and skip.

My cousin sister, Josephine, could talk to him and still get respond from him. He was 'listening', somehow, to her. He could still nod his head when my uncle told him to hand on because the airline won't let him through and they had to find another way out. *LONG STORY SHORT*

He was a very stubborn old man. He said he want to 'rest' at home in Miri. And he did. He held on for an hour or so. Then he left. After we changed his clothes and everything. HE had his peace and left without any pain. HE is a miricale to me. That scenery of him changed my mind set about beliefs. Grandpa, I know you are having your peace up there, but I want to let you know, thank you for letting me witness such thing. I will never forget it. It doesn't haunt me the way you left us, But just to be sure, you are amaizing.

This Saturday.

Normally on this day, I would be "hybernating" with my mother. At the couch, watching TV series. And doing nothing. Like a snake when it is full. We would watch until we fall asleep. Otherwise, we would have nothing to do at all. BUT this post is very special because it is the 100th post I have.

However, this week, I am not sure of what is going on, but I do know is that my mother is thinking of planting trees. Yes, planting trees. I am not sure where but I do know that it is for my grandfather. It is to remember how long he had been in peace.

I always think that when someone leaves us, we have to move on and not talk about it anymore. But this time, my family seems to be like they can never get over him. He is too much of a great man to forget. Everytime I visit him, we would be talking about politics and news around the world. We would be talking about jokes from the newspaper and laughing about how hilarious it is. I would be telling him about what I am going to do. It is just like friends catching up with our loss time together.

It is very memorable as I will miss that. Because after he left, I have no one to share about this with. And I want to get over it but my mother... She just have to keep talking about him. Making me to rethink about our routines whenever I am over at his place. It seems to me that we will never get over him right?

Sometimes in life

Sometimes in life;
We get insulted by others.
We should just get on with it and
move on. Because it is not worth to
be angry over things that we will get everyday

Sometimes in life;
We get put down by others.
It's ok. It happens every once in a while
it is something that we will have to experience
everyday in the society and when we go to work for money.

Sometimes in life;
You feel sad and lonely,
thinking that no one is around
you, but hey, I am still here. I will
always open my arms and lend you my
shield to keep you safe. And give you warmth

Sometimes in life;
You get peer pressured and
get involved with things you shouldn't.
Don't worry. I won't let you do that. I will
be there and stop you before you even try to take
it. Because I care. I may seem to be nosy to you in the first
place. But I understand, you are pressured because you want to be
like them. Just remember, Be yourself, and you don't have to be afraid anymore.

Sometimes in life;
you might think that you
are having trouble and have
no one to look for to help you because
all your friends have deserted you. They are
not your real friends. IF they are, they would stand by you
But, it's ok. I am here. Just come to me and I will go through it with you
I can't go through it for you because it is your problem but I will guide you through

My dear friend, in life, there are times when things go out of hand, or when things are in control and in happiness. Don't forget me. Because I have been there for you all the times. I am always there for you. You may have left me when you don't need me or am not in trouble. Or you may have forgotten me because you don't need me anymore. Just remember, I understand. Because I am a friend to you. Just like any other friends, I care and love you. I don't ask anything from you. I just ask you not to forget me and appreciate my existence. For when I am gone, I will never be back anymore.

Sincerely,

the one who is left out at the corner.

the one who will never leave you.

the one who is there for you.

the one who cares for you.

the one who accepts you.

the one who loves you.

The real friend.



December

Tick...

Beginning of the year;
"HAPPY 2012 YEAR!!!" Fireworks everywhere. I am at Miri celebrating new years with my family and watching fireworks at the front yard. Watching our relatives as they battle with the neighbourhoods which house can set the most and longest fireworks.

Tock...

Mid-year;
I'm in Vietnam. Watching the people going on with their own business. Doing their daily routine as if nothing is going wrong. The world still turns and evolve around the sun. Going into museum and places of interest in Vietnam.

Tick...

Between September and October;
"Go to class and pack your things. Someone is coming to fetch you." Ms. Fariah comes in and tells one of my friend during Chemistry class with Mr. Mike. Curiousity and fear fills me up as I watch him go out that door. I know that once he steps out of the door, he won't be back anymore...

Tock...

On Facebook;
"Hey, how are you now?" I ask my friend who got expelled from school for smoking in the school. I know that he is a smoker but once a friend or classmate always a friend and classmate right? Well, let's just say that I am concern about him that's all...

Tick...

In the middle of Bio exam;
*What in the world is this?! This is past year paper! We are just IG1 and she is giving us IG2 + IG1 papers?! Has she gone out of her mind? Or is she trying to make us all fail?*

Tock...

Now;
Typing this to tell you guys that time passes very fast. AND if you are unaware of it, it is Thursday, 6th of December 2012. Embrace yourselves and get prepared for during the 21st December, or shall I say, which is 15 more days later we are going to experince the day when the Earth stood still for THREE days.
Three days of coldness or hotness, without Sun. If it is coldness, it is down until -23 degree Celcius. If it is hotness, it is up until 50 degree Celcius and above.

It is not the day we see God / Budha / Greek Gods / Allah or any kind of religion you are in. It is also not Judgement or Requritment day. It is the day when Earth stay as it is for THREE days.

Believe it or not, it is up to you. May your god(s) bless you with good health and strength my peers. For as long as you remember, I told you already. And I know it may sound hard to believe. But it is your choice my friends.

I love you all. Uncontidionally and forever will. Even when I am in peace.

Lessons to be learnt

1. Money is Life and Energy. It is something that is very important to you. It won't buy back your youth or time. But it is LIFE and it is TIME. IT is the amount of ENERGY you take to earn that money. IF you aren't the one who is earning it, at least think of the ones who are earning it for you.

2. Don't wait until the time comes then you start thinking about things. Be prepared for the things that are about to come. Expect the unexpected for surprises are everywhere and can happen anywhere, anytime, anyhow, anyway.

3. Don't wait until the last minute and when the opportunity comes you miss it and start to regret over it. No point. Why? Because it is already gone. You should be aware of what is going on around you.

4. Things comes and goes. When it goes, it goes forever. When it stays, it may not stay forever. BE AWARE and capture every moment of life as it never stays there forever. It will soon be replaced. When things are around you appreciate it. Never doubt it.

5. Money is just an icon to represent an amount of value. It is the final manifest of life circle.

6. Don't wait for things to happen. MAKE it happen. If you wait, it will be too late. Why? Because by the time you want to make it happen, something else is already replacing it. When you think you are capable of making things happen. Just do it!

7. What goes around, comes around. Don't attract the negativity or do bad things. It may not occur to you or it may in your later life / future. It may also skip a generation and by that time, it may even be worst.

Money

What do you think money is?

What does money means to you?

How much do you value money?

Do you appreciate the amount of money you have in hand?

Do you know the exact amount of money you have now?

Have you ever thought of these questions before? I'm sure not many of you have come to senses to even think of these kind of silly questions but it somehow hits you and makes you think doesn't it?

The way we treat money is like the way we treat our life. Do you realize that? Or you just know it now? Think about it. If you like to put your money in order, and properly, I would say you must be someone who likes things to be in order and always in place right? You don't like things when it is out of control don't you?

If you just use money and let it flow through your hands like water, then you must be treating life as if it is a simple thing. Not important. And you find that like water, your money always slip through your hands because you don't have a grip of it. It always comes and then goes. Comes and goes. Just like that. And you wouldn't bother to even cup your hands together to hold them to be kept for emergency use.

If you don't know the exact amount of money you have now, I'm sure you don't even know what is going on in this world. AND even if I were to steal it from you, you only know that your money is stolen. You don't know how much is stolen from you because you can't bother to even count the money you have in hand. Just like you don't care about what is going on around you. Not to be mean to use 'don't care' but you are unaware of what is going on. You are UNAWARE that you have so much with you. And when you lose it all you start to mourn over it. Regret for the loss.

IF I tell you, money is like your life, would you treat money more better? More gratitude towards what you have now?

Mirrorizing myself

Ever thought of doing something and then someone does it to you in the end. The same scenario. Same thing. But just the person who is doing the thing is changed. In other words, like karma. What you did to others they do the same thing to you even when they didn't know that you are doing it?

Well it is called "mirror".
At least, that's what I would call it...

It is like you do something for example; you sneak into someone's room to take something out of their room. And they do the same thing to you just that they didn't know that you did it before to them. Get what I mean?

Just like Karma. What goes around, comes around. What you do to others would be done to you just the same. So if you steal something from others, then someone else would steal from you sooner or later. That makes you live in fear. And it also creates trouble to yourself. In the end, you either end up in a fight or misunderstanding and lost of trust in each other. Because you never know when will it happen again.

Something I have learnt from my mistake. And I am sharing this to you so that you know it and will apply to yourself too. Remember, Karma does comes around and does exist.

Back from everything

Hey guys. I'm sorry for not updating these days. I know you guys must be rather upset with my doings. I know as a blogger one have to keep up with the post to keep up with the people reading my blog. And here I am not keeping up with my posts at all. I am so sorry. BUT I do have my reasons.

My grandfather passed away on 21st November 2012.

That is my reason. And I have to be away from my laptop for several days because I have to take several trips ups and downs to Miri. I am sorry my beloved readers. I will keep up as soon as possible to keep you guys updated about what I have learnt and what is going on.

What I dislike most is smoking and cigarettes. I don't like smoking because of the effects and the smell is just too horrible to bear. Cigarettes? Well, it is because it takes 8 minutes of your life away. Imagine if you take one whole box containing 10 cigarettes, then you are killing 1 hour and 20 mintues of your life away. I can have two periods of 40 minutes class. And for that I can learn something other than digging my grave.

But what can I do when it comes to my family? I can only tell them that I love them and want them to be around when I am successful in life. I want them to see me carrying my researches and tell them that I have found a cure for HIV or AIDS for that matter. Even better, I want them to see me grow old. I want them to bear witness that I can achieve success and make them proud. Make this family proud.

It is their choice to choose whether to be there on that day or not. What I know is that I want them there. As for my grandfather, he may not be there but he will be in my heart. Because I promise him that I will succeed and come back to find him. So now, he is resting in peace up there and in here with me in my heart. His old soul rests in my heart where he is still alive. His body sleeps in peace with the saints. His spirit is high up in heaven. No pain. No injection. No IV drips. No chemo. No nothing and no more nurses to take his blood away. No more doctors to give him false hope.

Yes, you can probably guess by now. He had lung cancer which turn into liver cancer. Say no to smoking before you get more pain than you deserve.

Smokers out there. I would stop you from smoking but I know that it will not be of use because you can always go to the store and buy another packet yourself. But what I can remind you here is that, would you rather have a longer life to spend with your family and have great memories which you can take with you forever? OR would you want to have short-term pleasure and long-term pain which requires you to be in the hospital and injections to take your blood away from you and pain everytime you see the doctor knowing that you don't have much time left to do anything that you want at all?

Your choice. I may not have been through it but I can tell you that your family is going to suffer more than you do. I had beared witness of everything and heard enough of everything. You better stop now or prepare enough money to buy your grave. Addictive or not, Life or Death. It is your choice.

 

...YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED...

Life unexpected

Life is not to be expected. It does comes with expectations from your family, teachers, friends, boss, colleagues, Have anyone of you other there watch the series "Life Unexpected"? Well, I haven't though but I do know that life cannot be expected unless you understand how life works. And if you do know how life works, which is clearly very rare and impossible unless you go with the flow of life, you are God. But God is up in heaven not down here so I suppose that it will have to go through years and years of maturity to understand life itself.

If you expect life to be the way that you want it, then what is the point of living? You already know how your life is going to be. And you already can predict what is going to happen next. If that is how life is going to be like then it will be double the boredom and double the amazingness. Because everyone already knows what is going to happen next. Everyone already knows what will happen to them. When they are going to die. When they are going to get married. When they are going to be expecting.

Which comes to the reason why life is not to be expected. Because it is supposed to be a surprise. Something that we should not know about. It is our future. It can be planned to be that way but we cannot expect the weather to be right or the temperature of the area to be exact as we wanted it can we?

Everyday we live as a farmer. We eat Yesterday and harvest Today and plant Tomorrow again. Simple as that. That is how we live. And if Tomorrow is not ripe, we leave it aside and call it Future.

What we do Yesterday is the past. we pluck it out so it doesn't distract us and move on. We take in Today as we plant them yesterday. Then we plant Tomorrow again which will become Today when it is the next day. I hope I don't confuse you there... If I do, you know where to find me. I'm on http://ask.fm/Mabellegenius where you can ask me what do I mean or if I've confused you. Don't hesitate. I'm just one 'Click' away. :)

Not worth it

This post is from an inspiration of my Kenyan friend named Edwardo Mahaga. My pal whom I've met on twitter. And if you are asking yes I do have a twitter account. So follow me there! @Mabel_le_genius whereas Ed's is @ Ed_on_the_bed. Or you can ask me questions on http://ask.fm/Mabellegenius and I would be glad to answer you or make it into a post. :)

"Never change for anybody but yourself" - Edwardo Mahaga

I quote from the conversation above from my Kenyan friend who reminded me to not change for anybody but myself. Thank you Ed if you are reading this. Thank you for reminding me that it is not worth it to change for somebody because of what they say or how thy influence you. If we want to change then let ourselves be the reason of the change. If we are changing for others then we are just surrendering ourselves to others hands and let them control us and our lifes.

It is not worth changing for someone else and then after a certain time you realize that you do not like the change that you did to yourself. Then it will be too late to change back. Well, although some of us are lucky enough to change back but what if you are used to it already? What if you don't know yourself anymore?

I'm talking about your own character and personality. Don't change to please someone else. Change for the better if it is needed to be changed. If it is because of someone, changing to make them notice you or know that you exist? Please. Just don't. Not worth it my dear. Not worth it. Because you are you. And you are already perfect the way you are. If you are not the way you are then what is the point of living? You are not living as you. You are living as another you which is the fake you. And it is very "fake". I can assure you that. Just being you is enough. Because we are born to live as ourselves. Not born to impress or please others.

The first week of Holiday

Hey there my bloggers. I know you missed me... Don't you? Well, it doesn't matter. Because I missed you too. All of you out there. Where ever you are I miss you. Sorry I had been missing. And I know that it is holiday season for Malaysians here. So Malaysians, how has your holiday been? Great? Fun? Or just exshausted from those mountain climbing and nature walking for those who are doing scout camps recently?

My holiday was not as I expected it to be. It was pretty much slacking and watching TV all day doing nothing productive. Which is something that you guys should not be doing if you are in Sarawak. You should be out there enjoying the greens while we have it. I know I sound like a hypocrite but I am a different story. Just so you know that my family has certain situation to tie me down in a house until I am 21 years old. YES, it is TRADITION. (If that is the word you are looking for) and it is very typical but mine is a different case. Mine is "over-protective" family.

Just to let you know, I am still alive and you don't have to worry about me. Because I am still gonna be here and blog even though it is 4:44 am on 21-12 2012. Yes, people. we have very limited time here on Earth now. But I still believe that we can still live after that day. It is said that 'If there is a begining, there is an end' or 'there is an end to everything' that has a begining.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, DO NOT FORGET THAT I LOVE YOU ALL AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO EVEN IF I MEET GOD MID-WAY. *which I am not sure about because as human being we sin but I do know that I accepted Jesus as saviour is good enough for me.*

Einstein once said that if he ever meet God he will wants to get his questions answered because he has lots of things that needs explaination. But if I meet God, I'll have only one wish. Which is to let my family to go to heaven and I am willing to bear their sins on my shoulders. God's love is eternity for us, so I am willing to sacrifice myself for others as well. Just one last sacrifice, this time a daughter, for my family. And by family I mean the World.

Last day of school

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL PEEPS! LAST DAY OF MY ACADEMIC YEAR IN 2012!! And I have homeworks over the holidays. Lol.. I know it is supposed to be like that because we have to revise otherwise we might forget everything we learnt this year. And then next year we have to relearn everything again when we are supposed to be learning something new.

I am going to miss Miss Karen. My english teacher. She is so cool and nice. I mean she is really cool and nice. She' s okay with us calling her first name informally outside of school. She's leaving next year. That means that the only time we get to meet her is only in Kuching Fest or concerts.

We will be like "Miss, would you like a mug of beer?" Yes, she is a party animal. A wild party animal on that. Ha ha. She's like no other Miss Karen you can find out there. Like no other... Nope.. SO RADICAL. Man, She's like an idol to me. My other insipred role model.

MISS KAREN!! I KNOW YOU AREN'T GONNA READ THIS BUT WHAT I CAN SAY IS THAT I AM REALLY GONNA MISS YOU LOADS!!

Second last day of school

Today is the second last day of school for the year. All the classes have parties and dance like crazy while my class consists of only 4 girls including me and two guys who came halfway throughout. It was really a boring day.

Despite to boredom, we played some cards and had some great laughs. Although I couldn't participate in most of the talking but it was fun just listening to other's memories we have throughout the year. Well... tomorrow is the last day and I am going to go up the stage to get an award.. "The citizenship award"

It is the second year I have the award and also the second year I am in the school... Guess I am really going to be a good citizen to the society then.. Haha.. Well, that depends right? Who knows what might happen to me in the future but we can only hope for the best.

I just got home and start to miss my friends already. Although not much of us are here, but I miss all of them deep in the bottom of my heart. Even though they are not real friends or besties, but at least they are my classmates, right? And I care for them. Therefore, I have the right to miss them as well. Lol.. I sound so retarded but just to let you know, I am. Ha ha.. I guess this is it guys after so long. Thanks for continuing reading my posts. I love you guys. I am not sure about next year if I can still keep updating like this because it is THE critical year already. So see you when I see you.

Hitz Birthday Invasion!!

Tonight is the Hitz.fm birthday invasion here in Kuching. AHHHH!!! *squeals* and all that what nots. Puh-lease lah.. I mean come on.. I know it is the hitz.fm birthday invasion but what';s the big deal. It just Chance, One bucks short, and some other bands coming to kuching to get their fans attention.

Yes, I do love hitz.fm. I do like Chance's songs. but I am not going to go over obssessed and carry him home tonight or something like that having said by a friend of mine who is "in-love" with Chance. But above all that.. I'd just rather stay back at home and write on my blog updating to you guys out there who are reading this post tonight.

Yes, Of course because I love you guys more than I love those artists. Those are called 'fan-love'. me to you? Is "unconditional love" that you cannot get from anyone else other that your lovers and your family. I don't even care if someone is going to propose to me tonight because I care more about you guys that the anonymous person that I do not know... lol.. this is going too far.

Anyways, how's it going for you peeps out there? I know it sounds insane.. but does anyone seem to notice that it is almost december? The heck with the YOLO thing. I am staying here and writing my blog even if it is 4:44 am on 21st december 2012. And I am telling you that we are going to be alive. No matter what. We are going to stay alive. Just trust me. Have faith in yourself that you are going to live through this. at least through your generation.

My Birthday

My Birthdya passed just two days ago and I forgot to even update about it.. LOL.. Come to think of it, it wasn't like any other typical Sweet Sixteen party where you party with all your friends and drink till you're drunk or anything. Mine's rather peaceful and radical.

I had a birthday dinner with my family, then we go and buy some movies and watch it at home. It was supposed to be watching like a movie marathon but we ended up watching one movie only and went to sleep because we were all exhausted... =.="

But anyways, I had a great time with my family.

My friend got me like more than one present from one person. The day after the birthday, I was gifted two other presents. I then realized that my friends can only give me what I want, but my family is the one that gives me what I need in life. They are the ones that stayed the longest by my side ever since I was born. Due to the fact that I am the youngest in the family, so yeah, they are the ones that are always by my side when I needed them. So they will always provide me with things that I need all the time.

So, my choice of celebrating my sixteenth with my family was not a bad choice after all...

Am I important to you?

It seems to me that everytime you are around with her or someone else I have become someone else to you already. Someone that you think doesn't exsit. You act like you don't even care about me. I did all I can to let you know that I am here. I replied to you. I answered your question but did you say anything? NO! Why because you are too busy making yourself busy with her.

You seem to ignorant to remember that I exist in your life. I am the one who get you things when you needed it. And what did she do for you? NOTHING! What is it that she has that I don't? It seems that everytime she talks to you, she has your full attention but when I talk, you can't even hear me properly. You always ask me to repeat myself but you never ask her to repeat. WHY are you so unfair to me?

You always ask me why am I so furious with you. Why I am so mad. Why am I this. Why am I that. You say that you care for me but the truth is do you really care for me at all? Did you even hear my cry for you when I needed you most? No you didn't because you are so busy talking to her.

Somehow she is like a devil luring you away from me. How can you do this to me? Everytime she is around I have to stand back and not even have a word spoken across. Even if I can, you won't even listen to me at all. Because she is the one that has your attention. Even if she is just whispering, I suppose you can hear her clearer than you hear me.

Exams = Student War!!!

Yes, I know that it is exams time already but I am here to post up a blog for you guys.
Yes, I know that it sounds like I am very confident in my subject, which of course I am because it is Bahasa Malaysia only for tomorrow.
Yes, I know that it is very risky for not revising even at this moment but I just want to put up a blog to let you guys that I am still alive.

Students who are reading this and having test now... Get your guns (pens and pencils) ready and ammutations (erasers) prepared. Cause we are going to go to our own CIVIL WAR WITH THE TEACHERS!!!

WE ARE GOING TO STRIKE THE BEST WITH THE BEST THAT WE HAVE TO PROVE TO THEM THAT WE ARE NOT AS STUPID AS THEY THINK WE ARE! WE ARE CLEVER! WE ARE STRONG! WE ARE RIGHT AND WE ARE GOING TO PROVE IT!

Well, that's enough of motivation but all of you out there. Just do your best that you can for you know what grades you want to get and intend to get in the end of the day. *Which I do hope it is the best that you can get*

Don't say that "oh gawd I'm gonna fail..." / "Aiya surely die one la later" or even "Eh, later let me copy arh". As a Malaysian I know that most of us would do that because we are lazy to revise so we always depend on the clever ones to give us the answers in the end of the day. There is no such thing as free lunch. If you want a good result you're gonna have to deal with it and work hard for it.

I know that my english was really Malaysian english just now, because I am speaking from a Malaysian student point of view. I know what it is like so please lah people... Study for your own sake. I am sick of giving you free answers and becoming my "good" friend when exams is near. That is not a friend. That is just a "consumer" friend only. I am sick already. Don't come and ask me for answers when you don't even know how to do because I am not giving you any more answers.

And don't blame me in the end of the day because I have warned you.... Well, technically in a way I did. SO yeah... DON'T ASK FOR ANSWERS, CAUSE I AIN'T GIVIN' ANY AWAY!!!

You again!

You came to my dreams again. This time you are rather different. Although you still have that thin, rosy lips but I could feel your skin. Your cheeks. I could almost see you but it was too dark. I could only managed to see shades of grey-ness around you. Why have you come back? Why now? What are you going to do to me? When is this never ending thoughts about you are going to end? All I could think of right now is you because you are here agian.

Why won't you show yourself? Why do you keep yourself so invinsible? Millions of why's formed in my head the morning when I had that dream of you again. Just why me? Of all the questions that I would like to ask you to answer me, I want you to answer me this first.

Why of all people you come for me? Is it coincidence or is it going to be just a dream?

I don't understand. In a dream you don't feel anything. But when it comes to you I can feel you.

The last time you came, I could feel your lips. This time around, I could feel your cheeks. You look beautiful. I don't know what words I could use to describe you but just that you are beautiful. I know you are a guy but it really is hard to find a word to describe you. I just couldn't find one word to describe your beauty properly. Sorry. But, please...

Just tell me who you are already! In all my dreams, only the ones that contains you are the ones that I can literally feel something. It sounds like realilty not a dream anymore when you come to me.

Show yourself and tell me who you are. Please.

Don't leave me hanging...

Make a difference

It takes one to make an action,

Two to make a rumour,

Three to make a story,

Four to create a history.

I’m sure that none of you have heard of that before because it was never said or it had been said by someone just in other ways.

My bio-economic teacher always tells us that it takes one to make an action. But I always ask him how it is possible? We are just students; no one will listen to us. He would reply “It takes one to make a difference, Mabel”. Mr Alex, if you are reading this which I highly doubt you would be hehe, this is for you and everyone out there.

Are you all familiar with the woman who jumped in front of a horse to get a right to vote? Well, partially it came from there. OK... Let’s be honest, the inspiration is from her and my ‘the great Mr. Alex’ teacher.

I always have a thought that how come people never listen to us for we are the new generation and we are going to take over the world after those people out there that rules the world now? We have the right to speak and tell the world what we are thinking about don’t we? Then why is no one listening to us for what we have to say? Ironic, eh? If you don’t listen to us now, when are you going to listen to our voices? You are going to have to listen to us sooner or later.  So why not now? We have things that we want to voice out but no one is willing to listen. Why? Just because we are not experienced as you are?

Yes we may be innocent to the world out there. We may not read the news or know what is going on but we do know that this world is corrupting. Not economically or about the money. But generally speaking, this world is sick already. Why is no one thinking about this? Our ideas or call out to you may sound like a mosquito at night ringing in your ear, but please at least just give our words a thought.

I am writing this post not to tell you that we teenagers like to get your full attention on us 24-7 or something. Even though some of us might, but I am writing this post to tell you all that we as teenagers also have the leadership potential inside of us. If you don’t let us speak out what we see or am aware of which you don’t? Let us remind you of what we are missing out in this world. Let us help you change the world, if you may, we are the future, and so shouldn’t we be heard as well than those who are heard all the time?

Be proud of who you are

Just like how the title says it. “Be proud of who you are”. I got this inspiration from Eminem. There is a song which I think in the lyrics it has something to do with this. So Eminem fans out there, I think you might know it or if you don’t then you might want to go back and try listening to his lyrics when he is rapping…

No matter whom you are or what is it that you do, you have to stand tall with your heads up high and be proud of what you are. ‘Cause there is no other you in this world anymore. We live to be ourselves. Not to impress or please others to their pleasure. We don’t have to be like someone else and end up not knowing who we are at all because if you do that, you might lose yourself.

When you pretend to be like someone else, you are actually putting on a mask of someone else’s live on you. You are living your life for them not yourself. And who on earth would want to do such a thing? I admit I have done it before. It was awful. I mean it. I had been down there myself living my life as someone else but then I have come to resurface and know that this is not me. This is not who I am. I don’t want to be like them. I want to be me. Because I am given a life to make my own choices on which I can get to make my own future so why do I have to go under someone else’s shoes and live my life in their way?

We may think that someone else has a better life than we do but we do not know better. Maybe they are living their lives under shades? We don’t know what they have gone through. They may have had hard times and we don’t know what it is. Taking them as a role model or inspiration is fine but don’t live your life for them. We all are given a life that is free for us to make our own choices and have our own rights in our choices. Make the right choice and be proud of it.

BEING PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE, IS A WAY OF LOVING YOURSELF.

It's worth a try

If you never try to do something about life, how would you know that it is worth a try or not?

If you never try to meet success, how would you know if you might succeed or fail in the end?

If you never try to make a conversation, how would you know if it might turn out to be the most memorable conversation you ever had?

If you never try to actually stand up for yourself and others to say what you want, how would you know that if you have made a change?

IF you never try to do something new and step out of your comfort zone how would you know if you are going to learn something new from it?

If you never try to take a leap of faith, how would you know that you are going to get it in the end?

IF you never go and try to climb that mountain, how would you know the air up above is fresh and clean?

If you never try to embrace change how would you know if you will like that change and make a comfort zone out of it?

See? Everything has to be tried before you know it. If you don’t try you will never know. If you try and you know it then you might at least tell yourself that you have tried doing it before and how you think about it. When you never try to do something about life, you will never get to know the experience and the feeling of trying it. It may be necessary to do it instead of trying, but still, if you don’t try how you would know what is going to come out of it?

There is a saying from where I come from which is “You’ll never know if you never try.”  In Malaysian way we say “Never try never know, sekalie try then you know.” IT’s basically the same thing but just the Malaysian way of saying it. Yes, I know we Malaysian people have our funny way of speaking because we always mix languages together. That is why you have the Malaysia-English language.

Anyways, back to the title and enough of my Malaysian story… Ha ha... Everything is worth giving a shot. You never know what the outcome of the trying is or what the result could be like so everything is worth trying. BUT I am not saying that taking drugs and smoking or going against the law is worth trying. I mean they are some things that are worth trying and some things that you don’t even think that you want to try. Please do not misunderstand the message here.

Just think to yourself before trying or doing something. Is it worth it? Is all of the trying is worth doing it or it will just corrupt the future that you are going to have?

I'm irreplaceable

If you think that you can find someone like me again out there in the world, you're wrong.
If you think that someone else can replace me, you're wrong.
If you think that someone out there can make you feel the same way as I do, you're wrong.
If you think that there is going to be someone out there that care as much as I do, you're wrong.
If you think that someone else out there can treat you the same way as I do, you're wrong.

If you ever think of all of that about and more that has to relate to replacing me with someone else, you're wrong.

Why? Because I'M IRREPLACEABLE!!! You cannot replace me with someone else as if I am a toy that can be replaced when I am broken. No! No one else out there would care as much as I do to you! Why?! That would be very lame to ask as of to why... Because the probability of finding someone who care as much as I do out there, other than your family members, is very slim.

No one can actually replace someone else in this world. Why? OMG... If you do ask me that question I would seriously faint in front of you right now.. I mean, just think about it. Can someone else look the same like me or be like me even have the same life and same experiences like me at all out there? NO!!! Obviously not! No one can be me. Because there is only one me in this world and there is no other me that you can find out there. Unless, I have a twin (which I do not have) out there living but even if I do, I don't think she is going to be the same as I am. Even twins can be identical, you know what I mean? Even twins think different things. Talking about twins, not even quadruplets (if that is how you spell it...) think differently, hence everyone is unique and different.

So if you think that you can go out there and find someone like me, you are completely out of your mind. Because there is no other me in this world that you can find.

I'm unique and different. Irreplaceable. Get what I mean?

When something is lost

When something is lsot then you start to miss that certain thing.
When something is lost then you start to think about that certain thing.
When something is lost then you start to mourn over it's lost.
When something is lost then you start to remember the times when you take it for granted.

Human beings act that way allthe time.They always wait until something is lost then they regret losing it. They never realize it's importance until it is gone. Even though it is jsut an eraser or a pen, it is still important for us. WIthout an eraser, we cannot erase our mistake. We cannot erase the word that we have written wrong. 

As a kid, I always take my erasers for granted. I know that if I lost it I can still find it or get it again from home or buy it from a retail shop. But when I lost it in the exam time, I realize that I coldn't rub off the mistake I made. Instead I cross the mistake out and create an ugly image and working on my answer sheet. It was dirty and ugly. I promised not to ever lose my earser again. Uptill now, if I see an eraser lying around, I would take it and claim it as mine because clearly the owner doesn't wants it anymore and takes it for granted. So I might as well keep it for emergency use.

It is just like people in our lifes. We take them for granted. We thought that they would always be there. Until one day they are gone from our lives then we start to miss them and want them back. We always think that they are going to be there for us because they are out friends. They should/must be there for us 24/7. But people cannot be like that. They are not robots. They have lives too. They need a break from everything too eventually. So give them a break some time because not everyone is going to be there forever. Cheerish everyone around you for it may be the last time you get to see them.

Gone...

Will you miss me when I'm gone?
Will you remember me when I'm gone?
Will you think about the tmemories we share when I'm gone?
Will you apply my advice into your life when I'm gone?

I'm not sure if you would cry over my absence,
Neither am I sure that you are going to miss me beside you
Will you?
That I don't know for sure

Have I influenced you enough to make you think
about me when I'm gone?
Have I done enough to make sure
that you are going to be fine when I'm gone?

My dear friend,
All these answers can only be answered by you
But will you walk the talk?
I don't know

Becuase only you will know what you will do.

Worry??

My friend tells me that she is worrying about her Cambridge examination which is coming up soon enough in October. I ask her this "Why are you worrying about that when you have today to worry about?" She wants to answer back to me but can't find words to fight back or answer me. So she says "You know Mabel, sometimes I just hate you because you always say somethings that makes me unable to answer you."

I know that she is just joking with me. But still... think about it. Why do you worry about something that is in the future when you have so much to worry about now or today? There is a saying that says that "Worry is like a rocking chair. Sure it gets you moving but it gets you nowhere." I like that quote a lot but if I may... please let me expand.

You worry so much and you are going nowhere. Therefore, you start to slow down and think. When you think too much you worry more and get miserable. When you are miserable, you effect the people around you. Your environment goes miserable with you because you always show up in misery. Then you don't know why people don't make you happy at all. You start blaming or find reasons to blame or be angry at something. When you are angry you create rage and starts to hate people. What happens next? Well... Let's just say that you don't want to know cause it's not very pretty down there. It's a road that you don't want to go.

This is why peeps, why do you want to worry so much? It just keeps you at where you are. Nowhere. If you keep on worrying then you just don't know what to do and you get miserable and then you get the same circle all over again. So to live a better life... Don't worry at all and nothing bad will happen. When you worry, you are already attracting the negativity and the universe thinks that you want these negativity because you keep asking yourself questions about it and the universe thinks that you might want to know the answer so it gives you the negativity. LAW OF ATTRACTION PEEPS!! You should read the book sometime. It's interesting.

I got an "A"!!!

Hey guys! Guess what?! I got an A! Well.. not just any "A" but in literature. We are suppose to do an essay about the downfall of Macbeth. It was marked out of 25. And I got 20! I was the only one I guess to get an "A" in the class!! WOOTS!! How great is that?! It sort of builds my confidence in doing literature next year.

I forgot to mention that I am doing Cambridge International Examination IGCSE English Literature and English First Language next year. OMG I can't wait for next year. I just want to get this over with you know? The feeling that you just want to get something over with so you can get the burden out of your shoulder.

I know that after this I have to go to college and all that further studying but I am already so ready for it! I know that I might sound insane but I feel like going to college now. Despite being still innocent to the field that I am going to specify into but I just want to skip all of this and go to my university now.

I don't know what's going on with me but I just feel very motivated to get a scholarship next year at Taylor's in Perth then into UWA. My "so-called" university that is awaiting for my arrival. Ahh... *Deep sigh* I just want to join everyone there now and get this studying thing over with as soon as possible so I can just travel everywhere and heal or in other words research for dieases and cure people on the way of my trip around the world. My beautiful world, have patience for I am coming. Soon...

The fly

I'm sure that most of us had seen a housefly before now eh? Well, here's my sort of interesting story of a housefly.

I saw a housefly banging on the window... It seems like it wants to go out but it just keeps on banging on the window thinking that it could go out that way. At that moment, I thought the fly was rather stupid. Cause it just bangs on the window and it knows that it can't go out at all but it still keeps banging.

Then I thought again... Why did it did so? Why didn't it try another way out. Then I thought that it could be that the fly is not giving up on what it thinks is the solution or the way out. Or maybe it is just practicing what it has learnt. The way out is the way in.

Somehow, I know it sounds ridiculous but it applys to us in life. Sometimes, when you get into a trouble... the only way out is the way in. How did you get yourself in is the way you get yourself out. However, sometimes, it doesn't work. So... when it doesn't work, we should always by all means. TRY ANOTHER WAY OUT! We can't always keep doing the same mistake if we know that it is going nowhere at all now can we? So peeps... we should try another way if the way we are trying is wrong. I hope you get my message tonight. See ya'll!

BUT before I end... let me continue the story of what happen to the fly next...

I stare at the fly waiting for it to go somewhere else to get out of the place. But it didn't. So... What did I do? Did I kill it or open the window for it to go out?

I waited for a few more seconds. Then I thought to myself. This life of the fly is in my hands. I can choose to let to fly away or kill it right there and then. IF I let it fly away... It might come back again. IF I kill it, it's family will be upset and mourn over it. REMEMBER!!! FLY HAS A FAMILY ON IT''S OWN TOO! It also have feelings. IF I kill it, it's generation might be gone too.. And that effects the food chain. SO I just let it fly away. Okay, that's the end of the fly. Time to go now. Bye!

War and after

When people were fighting out in the war,
I was in my home keeping my silence.
When lightning stiked and thunders roar,
I stay indoors as if nothing happens,
Thousands and thousands of lives taken,
And here I am still writing this poem.
Innovent lives since then had not risen.
Families mourned as funerals made for them,
We know the painful truth they're not coming back.
Only the sacred ones came back from the contention.
Everyone who came back was carrying a bag.
Which contained their properties from the corruption.
LIttle did I know that my man also went.
I saw him with that bag, I just stood and wept.

You don't deserve this.

         "You don't deserve this. You don't deserve all of this."

In life, some people are treated like they don't deserve anything good in life at all. Those people are like the people who got bullied or judged or being abused. For example, typically the nerds get bullied for some reasons jsut because they look weak or something. I don't know for sure if it is true but just stereotypically they are bullied.

Most of the time, people tend to think that they are just weaklings that can be pushed around and make fun out of them because it is funny. Have you ever asked yourself how would it be like if it was you? How does it feels like being humuliated? Do you like getting bullied yourself? I'm sure you don't too don't you? Then why do it to innocent people who just wants to be left alone and live for goodness sake?!

What? SCHOOL is not a place for bullying people. I'm not saying that you can bully out of school. Uh,uh. No, NO. NO! Nowhere is a place where bullying is allowed. I know that some of you think that it is for fun, pleasure, a little tease. Or maybe you were treated that way and you want to know how it feels like to bully others. You get used to it already and it becomes part of you like a drug for you.

I've read somewhere about an a true real life story where the bully in the end ends up hurt and the nerd was the one who helps the bully instead. Why? Because he was freaking kind enough to. The nerd did not laugh back at the bully because he thought that he has deserved enough already. All the friends that the bully has does not even comes to visit him. Not once, certainly NOT EVER!

And you think that bullying is cool and raises your reputation? Well, guess what? You might wanna think again who is the one who's gonna help you out in the end. It might not happen to you but it might happen in the other way. Somehow, somewhere, someday. I belive that karma is waiting for you to come so it can kiss your @$$ with catcus or something to make you wake up and remember about this post I am posting about. This is not a threat bullies. This is a warning. Whatever you are doing now are just the beginning of the journey for some @$$-kicking time which is going to be so hurt you are going to beg for your life. It may not happen like the way. Remember, YOU ARE WARNED FOR WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS ATTRACTING WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.

Don't judge me!

Don't judge people!!!

Don't ever judge people when you know absoulutley nothing about them at all. I mean like people these days just takes one look at you and start judging you by the way you wear, talk, or even act ; worst case scenario they judge you by what you eat or read. They like to judge people even though they don't even talk to them. Don't you think that is too childish?

I mean think about it? You are never in their shoes. You don't know how much they have gone through to get to where they are now. You don't know what they have gone through to make them be like this. You don't know how their life was before at all. And you don't even care to know. SO why in the world judge someone who you don't even make an effort to talk to so much when you yourself is also not perfect at all?

"Judge me only when you have been in my shoes and tell me if you can be little miss/mister perfect" - Mabel.

Second Chances

Sometimes, I sit and wonder why does some people gets second chances in life. And today, I just so happen to realise why. If you want to know, which of course you do that is why you are reading this post, I'll tell you.

It's quite simple actually. It is because the person who is giving you second chances is giving you a chance to change. To know your own mistakes and to learn from it. To understand what you have done wrong and outgrow from the mistake.

If everyone is not given a second chance then they won't know what they did wrong. In fact, they will never know. Why? Because no one is given a second chance to know their mistakes. Then there will be no babies or human beings on earth. Why? Because where there is no second chance that means that perfection is reached. Everyone is perfect.

Now, I'm not saying that no one is perfect but no one CAN be perfect. We are all perfect because there is no one else that are the same as us to compare who is perfect or not. Even if they are twins, they are still different in a way. It doesn't matter even if you are perfectly the same. Still, there is something inside of you that makes you unique and different about you.

 When everyone is given a second chance, they know their mistakes and might have the probablitly of not doing the mistake again. We never know if they are not going to do the mistake again. Now, I'm not saying that criminals don't need to go to jail because justice should be served. The kind of mistakes I am talking about here is that the mini mistakes that you can still turn around from. The small little mistakes that you can learn from.

Everyone makes mistakes. No one can be mistake-less from the start. Even geniuses also makes mistakes before they become geniuses. They need to learn the basics too! Like how to walk, run, jump.

And be appreciative when you are given a second chance. Why? Because that person who gives you second chance loves you enough to forgive you and let you learn from what you have done wrong. They also wish that you will change and not to do the same wrong thing again. Human mind are this sympathetic. They will at some point, forgive. Just some of them forget how to forget.

Happy Independence Day, Malaysia!

Hey, Malaysians! How are you guys? Our beloved country had just turned 55 this year recently. And apparently, I was too busy myself to post or update you guys. So sorry!!! I was having lots of things to deal with until I didn't have time to come back online to celebrate this important day of independence with all of you.

As for you guys who are non-Malaysians, It is an Independence day on 31st August. It is a very important day for us because it is the day Malaysia is free from being under other countries control. We have officially been free for 55 years up until now. And will still continue to stay that we don't we Malaysians? Let me hear a YES! MERDEKA!!!

I am sure that most of you guys out there wonder why do we shout "Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!" on our independence day while everyone else just celebrates it by throwing parties and all that. We shout 'merdeka' because 'merdeka' itself is a word that resembles freedom. Who gave us this freedom? Haha, that... all of the Malaysians can answer you that don't we? (if you are a malaysian and you don't know who gave us freedom, I strongly suggest you reread your history book. It's in there *wink*wink*)

As you can see, the people who came to invade our country are people like British and Japan. Well, the Japan people came to take our country or came into our country during the WW2. If you know what I mean. The british however is way further ahead that. From where I come from, I know that James Brooke was a explorer and he came to make a trade with one of the people who was in charge of this lovely, green, place.

I think it was because he wanted to make business or something? Then he past it on to Charles Brooke, the next generation of his who took control and then left around the 20's. I don't want to go too detail into history because it was a nightmare memorizing everything. If you are interested, please by all means do more research about it. You might find it interesting too! Just a head's up, if I am not wrong, there are some spanish invasion or something that you can learn from here...

Well, I guess I should end here now. Sorry for not updating on Independence day. I am truly sorry to all the Malaysians out there, and Happy Belated Birthday Malaysia! Love you! <3

Challenges in life

I know that I did this post before but I am going through it again. Once again, I would like to remind you guys that challenges are always out there. You can't escape from it. You can't leave it anyhow. You can't avoid neither can you hide from it. Even if you managed to get yourself out of it for a while, it will still come right back at you.

What are challenges for in our lifes? It just tires us. makes us feel like we are challenged everytime. It just makes us feel frustrated all the time. But still we have to face it because it is in part of our daily lifes. Gladly, there are some problems that are already done for us so it makes our lifes easier such as cars for travelling, technologies for communication, and lots more. But still, even after our lifes have been made so easy for us already? Because each of us still have to go through our own challenges that is made for us in life.

Why do we have challenges made for us in life? Why do we have to face them everyday? The first answer is because it is made for us so we can learn. We as human beings have to learn from our mistakes. If we do not learn we don't know what is right and wrong. We will always make mistakes in life that is why we are not perfect. the same reason why we need to learn from our mistakes everyday. If we do not learn then we will never know what is our mistakes. The ego side of us will always think that we are right even though we are wrong because as human beings we all want to be right about things. No one likes to be wrong; I repeat NO ONE likes to be wrong. That is what challenges are there to help us learn.

The second reason is to help us grow and think. If we don't have challenges, we will never grow out of our maturity. We will never think outside the box. Take Edison for an example, he invented light bulb so that we can see in the dark. How did he think of inventing light bulbs? Well, it was because the challenges that drives him to think of how to make things better for the world. That is why challenges are made for us to help us think outside the box.

In life, there are always obsticles out there that we have to go through. They are knows as challenges. We have to go through thiese things. Everyone has to. In fact, even babies have to go through challenges too. What kind of challenges do they have? They have challenges such as learning how to walk, talk, communicate so we can understand them. You see, everyday we have challenges out there waiting for us. It only gets harder day by day because we are growing. WE need to learn and grow to think more mature.

OH NO!!!

When I got here all I remember is my own blogspot and I forgot how to get to the dashboard where I can post new posts and all that. I got panicked so much. I was like 'OMG!! What should I do now?!" I completely have no idea of how to get back here again. I swear that moment of my face is just priceless... Ha ha. too bad you didn't get to see it. But that is ok. Cause I don't think it would happen anymore *evil grin* he he...

I tried to look from the history but my history didn't save anything more than 3 weeks. At that moment, I felt like I am dead.. Cause I can't get back here and update to you guys again... GAHH!!! But here I am typing this post to you guys because I found my dashboard again. HAHAHA.. Omg that moment was just so funny that I was literally "Laughing Out Loud" in my room. Of course not so loud till the whole house can hear me. I was just so glad that I found my way in again.

How did I get here again? He he.. Simple.. *adjusts my glasses on my nose bridge and slight shining on the rim* Cause I'm a genius. Ha ha.. Nah.. not so pure genius but still.. a genius. I went to the blogspot.com home page. Then I remembered that all I need to do was log in and I can get to my profile again!! HAHAHA!! Hilarious eh? Well... for some of you but I think it is just my dry sense of humour in these things. Hmm.. (wondering to myself) I should try to be more humorous...

OMG!!!

Hey guys!! How have you been? I just realize that it has been 2 months since I last updated you about things in life. I am terribly sorry for not updating because I am currently busy about things so far. But that is not to worry. I am back now and I promise that I won't leave you guys out anymore. I hope.. Ha ha. I will try to keep my promises because I am not sure when I would be using my laptop again. SO... to make it up to you guys out there... (looking around to see if you are still there) I am going to post things about what I have learnt so far while I was away and busying myself away with the things that I had been doing.

Vietnamese Me

Hey guess what? I came back from Vietnam and start to miss Vietnam already. If you never been there for holiday, you should try to visit there for at least once. YOLO get it? Well, if you are there for about a week you are going to start to feel ther you are Vietnam-sick you know? It kinda has a way to make you miss Vietnam. The food, the way they drive, the way things works, the way they speak and lots more that you should try.

I went for boat crusing which was my first time. AHHH!!! For those who been to boat crusing or sleeping on boat you know what I mean. Or maybe just a little. For those who never been on boat cruising. The best place to go is in Halong Bay. It is really great view that you can't buy with money. Not going to be a spoiler but the place is really amaizing and worth going. So glad that I went there for holidays. OMG. Starting to miss Vietnam already again.... T_T

Anyways, the way they operate in Vietnam is totally awesome. If you are there you might want to take loads, I mean LOADS of pictures of how they operate. There are most of the things that you won't see in your daily life. Certainly not by the streets!! They do pratically almost everything by the streets. Awesome eh? Now, now. I don't mean everything by everything... I mean things that you only do in your own home. They can do it BY THE STREETS!! Seriously. They don't really mind whoever is looking. Their life is just so simple.

They eat by the streets, rest on the streets, sleep on the streets on trishaws, trim their hair by the streets, cut hair by the streets, do their hair by the streets. Not only that. The most surprising thing is that they can do nail painting by the streets! Isn't that amaizing?? Their life is that simple. They even live by the streets... I know you see it in Europe or somewhere by the East side, but they not only live by the streets, they also live on top of their own shops.

Their hotels are really good, service is the best of all th hotels I have been to. Well, it is on my own opinion though. It doesn't have to be a 5 start hotel but it is already for such a country. The best thing ever is that they even have a laptop with free wifi in your room!! Cool eh? If you are European or someone who uses dollars for their currency in their country, you can spend a lot in Vietnam. It is very cheap for you guys. And I can assure you that is is going to be a very interesting, amaizing, historical, memorable trip. 100% sure!

THOSE OF YOU WHO NEVER WENT, YOU GOTTA GO. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO BE MISSING VIETNAM WHEN YOU COME BACK!!! YOLO! ^^

The speech competition

Have I told you about the speech competition? Well, today was the finalist round. I got inot the impromptu speech but i didnt get the positions in 1, 2 or 3. Which is fine with me because I don't really mind about winning. All i mind about is having fun. It doesn't really matters if you win or lose. If you lost, it is a blessing. Because you learn something in return. If you win, you are just the winner for that few minutes. or that moment.

The impromptu speech is about white is white, black is black, let's not argue about that. When i went up there all i talk about is the colour difference. i didnt talk much about what the topic is really trying to make us say. the topic actually wants us to talk about that white can also be black while black can also be white.

actually it wants us to tell everyone that the fact can be disorianted sometimes. sometimes fact can change itself to something else.sometimes fact may not be the fact. and i didnt spoke on that. i did spoke about the colours but i should go deeper and more into the life examples. oh well everything is over now. i still have next year to go. and next year i shall strive. NEVER GIVE UP is my family name.

I am going to a speech competition!

Hey guys. How are all of you out there? I am great here.. He he. I wish that all of you are fine out there too. All the best to wherever you are. Whatever state you are in and however you all are. I am sure that I told you guys about the debating competition I been last year didn't I? Well, I did last year and this year too. This year no one went but me from my school. Everyone complains that it is on a Saturday. And the teacher who is supposed to bring us there doesn't have the time to bring us there. However I still went because of my burning passion in debating. I could feel my confindence and enthusiasim build at once when I heard the word 'debate' itself.

Well, next week I am going to a speaking comepetition. It is going to be held outside of school of course but with other schools. I have a friend who is a first-runner up in toast-mastering going with me.  I am sure that I can nail the place down! HE HE. MUAHAHAHA!!! *ze-wicked-smile plastered on my face*

Wish me luck guys. I am going to win this for you guys. IF not, at least I get a position for you all out there. I can do this. GO MABEL!!! *fist pump* Love yall!!!

Don't, I don't, But, Because, and It is

Don't ever leave me hanging,
Don't ever make me waiting,
Don't ever make me worry,
Don't ever cause the crying.

I don't want to be left alone,
I don't want to waiting for things that will never happen,
I don't want to worry so much till my frown shows,
I don't want to be the one crying.

But for you I am willing to be alone
But for you I am willing to wait,
But for you I am willing to worry
But for you I am willing to cry.

Because you are different from the others
Because you are special to me
Because you are the only person I have,
Because you are worth it.

It is all over now,
It is not going to happen again,
It is not repeating itself,
It is never another you anymore.

And this is going to end,
Right here,
Right now.
Good bye

I admit

I admit I done my best
To try to impress you
I know I’m not worth it
I am nothing compared to you

I admit I lied to you
But that wasn’t what I intended to do
All I wanted to do
Was show you what I am capable of

I admit I’m not a good joker
Instead I’m a loner
Could I just see you smile
One minute or a while

I admit I want to make you proud
But it turned out to be other way around
I have done what I could do
Still I’m not good enough for you

I admit I did stupid things
I know that it sounds silly to you
But that was the only way
To get you laughing out loud.

I admit I am not like you
Because I am never you
And I can never be another you
I guess I just can't be the one for you

Because of you

Because of you
My heart is broken
Smashed into billions of pieces
And it cannot be fixed anymore

Becasue of you
I am a fallen
A single working things out.
Listening to pitiness around me

Because of you
I learnt to be angry, depressed and sad.
I become someone I don't know anymore
I am no longer who I am

Because of you
I now know how to move on
I am stronger
I am not as firgile as you left me

Because of you
I fought for love
I stand my rights
Held what was mine

Because of you
I am a new me
People respect me
People love me

And now you are crawling back
Wishing that you can have one more chance
Hoping that I will forgive you
And forget the scars you made on my heart

But guess what?
I am not the same person anymore
I may love you but it is loved now
The only reason I see you every now and then is because you are in my way or stalking me

I'll just leave you...

I am sorry if I make you sad,
I am sorry if I make you mad.
I am sorry if I break your heart,
I am sorry if I make it apart.

I didn't meant for it all to happen,
Not even from the start,
I wish you will forgive me,
But things cannot go back to the start.

I don't want to hurt you at all,
Hurting you is the last thing to do,
I don't want to make you sad,
Because seeing you sad just makes me feel guilty.

I blame myself even though it isn't my fault,
I don't want you to be mad because of something I said.
I am sorry can we restart?
It is ok if you don't want to.

I send you messages that you never reply.
I guess it is because you are still mad at me.
Of what I said,
Of what I did.

I am sorry for bringing so much trouble to you,
I promise I won't be of any trouble to you anymore.
I guess I will just leave you alone then.
That way you can have your peace.

I never thought that you would be mad,
When I told you about that.
I won't do it again,
Because there won't be another next time.

As promised I won't find you again,
As promised you can feel peace and calm.
I guess I don't understand you much at all.
What kind of person am I then.

As promised you don't have to worry about me,
As promised you can feel free.
Without me in your hair,
Without me in your life.

How about us?

Every now and then people around the world is doing something. These things are such as: Making up a realtionship. Reading something off the newspaper. Watching the television. Eating. Sleeping. Dying. Walking in the park. Having a memorable time. Facing a challenge. And many others that I haven't stated. BUT have we ever thought about what about us? What are we doing? What are you doing? Other than breathing, circulating your blood, staying alive, reading this article. What are you doing? I know that you are reading this but there is a question behind this article.

Have you thought about your future? Have you thought about what you are going to do if you are dying? Have you thought about what difference you can make with the time you have? Have you thought about the people around you and how you can influence them better in a good way? Have ytou thought about changing the way you interact with the poeple around you if it is not good? Have you thought about what you are going to do for the rest of your life? The big question here is, have you ever, just ever give a single thought about what you can do for your future? And if there is something going wrong what can you do now to change the situation?

Let's be honest to ourselves here. You don't have to admit whether you did or didn't thought about it at all. You know the answer for those questions yourself deep inside you. There is no one there to say that "Hey, you have to think that way." or "No, you should have it this way otherwise..." You have to know that this is your life you are dealing with. No one can, have, could, will, would, or even had planned/ plan it for you. People may have plan it for you but you are the one to make the choice of you want it to be that way or not. If you just follow blindly on what people planned for you then, I am afraid to say that you are living your life for another person but not yourself.

If you did think about those questions before, I would be thanking God. Ha ha. What I mean is that if you did, it wouold be great. However, have you put it to action? If you dont realize, the future starts the next second, the next minute, the next hour, and whole lot of nexts. The present is now. The past is before. You have now to act on what you think about. You have now to wake up from the unawareness. You have now to see the world in a better view. All you have is now. Nothing more. You can have the future later. The past is gone already.

Never look back to the past and regret. The more time you waste on regreting, the lesser possibility of you moving forward. Regret to me is another definition of self- pity. At least, that is what it mean to me. To you, it might be a different thing. You only look back to realize the mistake you did and correct them by starting to do it differently from now on. Because like I said, you only have NOW. The future is later. Ever heard of a quotation of "The seed of the future starts from now"? It works like that. And I hope you understand what I am trying to tell you here.