2011 last day...

Today is the last day of 2011. So, let's see. How have you all been through out this year? Any memorable achievements? Met someone that is very special in your life? Did something that is worth remembering? Had wonderful moments with your family? Spend magical times with your family?

Those are merely the questions I would ask myself if it is the last day of the year or month. Have i done what I need to do this month? Have I applied my best to everything I did this month? If not, will I improve it next time when I meet these kinds of things? How am I going to show up for next month if I think that I did not show up well this month?

Actually, for most people, they might think that the end of month is just another day. But it isn't for some other people. It is important somehow in a way that it could be a date whereby their deadline on something is closer? Or maybe for some women it is time to shop for more clothes;shopping spree again.

For me, the end of the year is very important. Because it is the day when I will have to say goodbye to the current year and say hello the next year. Some how this year pass by us very quickly doesn't it? One moment you might be at January, the next you are in July. How fast can time travel? Very fast. So don't waste time cause you can never buy back those times that you wished you had spent in a better way. If you think that you sorta regret this year,(gosh i hate the word regret but i am just going to put it once in here...) then think about it and start rethinking about how you are going to face it when it comes around again.

Think about it folks. Alright, that's that for tonight. Gonna go for family countdown tonight. See you in the morning or some other day my people. Love you all, unconditionally.

Sincerely,

TheGirlInBlackCardigan

Merry Christmas~

Merry Christmas to all of you around the world who are celebrating Christmas. Tonight is Christmas eve. So don't forget to tuck your kids or babies to sleep tonight parents, as their beloved Santa is coming tonight with gifts. I know that most of you think that Santa is not real, but he has given all of us wonderful gifts.

For pregnant mothers, Santa gives you a great gift as he given you a baby for you. This baby is going to be yours and yours to love. For fathers, mothers or going to be parents, he has given you a gift of a child. Someone to take care of you when you grow old. For kids, you get two kinds of presents. one is life another is a pair of parents who gave birth to you. For couples, he has given you someone who will love you forever. For children that doesn't believe in Santa, he gives you breath to breathe.

I know it might not make sense to most of you as, I, myself also don't believe in the existense of Santa Claus but it is celebrated worldwide for so centuries and I am writing it for the behalf of the elves at the Notrth Pole.

Hehe, i am here.

Hey, guys. I'm sorry for not updating you all for a long time. I saw that the stats rate are kinda dropping so I'm starting to get worried. Well, how are you guys these days? I'm great here. How about you? I hope you are great like me because everyday is a new day and a new plan. Have you heard the song by Bryan Adams, Here I Am ? It is a wonderful song. I like the part when the line says It's a new day and a new plan. It really means that everyday is a new day and the past is gone. So we have to keep on moving otherwise we will be stuck in our past and old life.

Which is something that no one wants. Because the past is gone. it is in the history book already.. Unless, if you like digging up histories, but i am sure that no one loves history at all.. But the thing is that, whatever is gone can only live in memories. It can be good or bad memories. We can always choose to keep the happy memories and let go of the bad ones.

Memories can be magical, memorable, and meaningful. You can always fill yourself with joy by filling or creating meaningful moments with your family. Well, at least that is something tht i have been doing all these times if i werent posting on the blog.

Well, i also am looking for a publisher or a company to publish my books for me. and while i am doing that i am also writting another book. it is going to be a sad oine but it is going to be teary too. i hope i get my book published early so i can share with you all my book. and wish you all enjoy it.

what is going on?

Don't tell me everything is fine
Don't say it is ok
Don't comfort me at all
Don't try to make me feel better
When everything is just being more confusing

Everything is going normal
Everything is going to be fine
Do you really think so?
Then start looking at the things around you and think again!

Things might be fine
But there are something behind those walls
Secrets behind every country
Layers of earth washed away

By the time you read this
It might be too late to do something about it
Because it should be done earlier
And we cant go back in time

We can't regret on what we have done
We can't reverse everything that was done
There is nothing left to do
But think of ways to make the world last longer

Hello and Goodbye..

On the day I arrive to this place,
I see your beautiful and wise smile.
Your warm embrace make me feel welcomed.
You treated me well like the others.
More or less everyone is the same.

It is you who make me feel comfortable,
It is you who belive that I can
It is you who help me when I am down,
It is you who supports me all the way
It is you who cared when no one does.
When I am down,
You lift me up
When I grumble,
You listen to me silently

In patience you treat me.
With love you cared
In times of loneliness you're there
Meomories of happiness we share

The burden we divide,
The smile we multiply,
The pain we minus
The trust we plus.

Now we say goodbye,
When we met we say hello
Between the departing, we cry
During the meeting, we laugh.

Together we hate goodbyes
Together we love hellos
Together we prefer conversations
Rather than wishes for life

We shared lots of bondage
We shed lots of tears.
We laughed until your stomach burst
We cried till our tears dried

We knew there is going to be an end
For there is a begining there is always an end
There is a day and there is a night
So there is a hello and there is a goodbye.

National exams

Hey people all around the world! How have you been all these while? I realize that there are lesser people looking at the blog and i am starting to get nervous and wondering why. Well, first of all, I will have to apologize to those who are expecting something more interesting fro this blog. i know that i must have hurt most of you but we have to face the fact. recently, my friends who are 17 years old are taking National exams.

In Malaysia we call it the SPM exams. It is different from any other exams. They have their test from today till the next month. Their whole month is occupied and they are going to be very busy. So i will like to wish those of you who are having SPM exams in Malaysia good luck and best wishes all the way.

My friends, i have a poem to share with you today. It is by David Perez. I find t quite interesting and wonderful. It shows how lonely a person can be and how hunger are around the world. We should really start to appreciate the food that we have in front of us. Appreciate how much food we have to fill our stomach and not take them for granted. There are people around the world who are really poor and hungry. They have nothing to eat.

Some of them even desperately eat grass because of what hunger can make one person become. Others drinks mud water to quench their thirst. Well here it is:

The buildings are empty
and their clocks have stopped
Somewhere there's a banquet
where people gorge themselves
and keep getting thinner
Maggots are laughing at us
berries are allocating
more resources to thorns
We are stranded
on our own rooftops
So thirsty,
we pray for floods
There are still things i want to say
before I reach for the hand closest to mine
and watch the fires with a secret glee
One of these things is
thank you for listening to me
scream into the air
and calling it wind
Another is
please do not leave - David Perez

It is wonderfully shared by a friend of mine called Roger Klotz.
After he shared with me this poem I have a lot of awareness. He showed me how things are different if you actually look at it from a different angle. The sentence, 'So thirsty, we pray for flood', emphasises how thirsty these people are until they wold pray for flood to come. It must have been a very dry season all year long until it never rains. It somehow reminded me of Cambodia, where there is only wo seasons. Dry season and Wet season. Well that's it for tonight. I still have my story to finish and a name to give it. It is going to be finished by the end of this year and i will try to find a plce to publish it.

11/11/11

For some people it isn't a special day. it is like a normal day to them. For lots of people it is a very special day because it is a day that only happens in a thousand year. For me and my family, it is both special and normal. Because it is my mom and dad's wedding anniversary and it is also a very memorable day for the whole family. Today is the day we cheerish and remember. The day when we remember back then how things were like. Ahh...

Sweet memories long gone.
Placed deep in our minds for us to remember.
Nothing to regret,
Nothing to forget
For they are etced forever in our head.

Look back and we see the roads we'd been
Those rocky and dangerous roads we've past
Look straight and there are still roads in front of us
Challenges, Fears, Traps and Smooth,
Our journey had just begun my friend
For there is more to come.

Visions, Intentions, Purposes
Each has a passion driving us forward
Each needs clearity to clear the road
It is always within us
We just have to find it

Life can be a rocky road up ahead
It is a bumpy ride on th way
So buckle up your seatbelts
Otherwise you will be left behind
And you will have to find your way again.

People

I am glad that through out this year, I had met with amaizing people in my life. They are like walls to my roof. They help me when I am down. They are my back ups when I need one. They are there when I need them. And what more to say is that, they influence me a lot. They are great people.

Everyone around us are great and amizing people. We can get to learn things from one another. It is always good to surround yourself with people that can teach you and guide you. There is a saying that 'once the student is ready, the teacher is there'. And it is true. I never seem to understand this until I met with Mr. Tom Cumming, my english teacher. To me, he is the greatest teacher I have ever seen in my life.

It turns out that he is the teacher and I am the student. I am ready at all times but the teacher is not there. Now, I am really ready and the teacher is there for me. He is patient enough to my mistakes. He always guides me in my English writings. He is also kind enough to proofread my novel for me. He knows what my mistakes are and he will always remind me with the same two words. "Verb tenses".

Through him, I learn how to be really patient in work and how to slow down. And I really am glad and lucky to one of his lucky students. He is a teacher who teaches from countries to countries. This year is going to be his last year teaching and then he is moving back to his hometown New Zealand.

He always guides me in my studies and makes sure that I don't get much mistakes. He even told me to be aware on my verb tenses and I will be having good results in the end of the day. which turns out that he is right. By now, I can write such nice things all because of him. My english teacher. My most favourite teacher in the whole world. I dont think I can have any other better english teacher better than him.

He is can be a funny teacher. When he is angry, he has to know that he is fierce. When he is funny, he can tell all kinds of things that make a person laugh. When he is serious, he has an expression on his face showing people that he meant every word he says. It is very easy to read his face. He made all of us like him not only as a teacher but also as a friend. People like to be around with him all day long.

He is quick to understand at what level you are and teach you from the level you are in. I am sure that all of the students that he once taught are very lucky to have him as a teacher. The sad thing is that he is not teaching anymore but he promise me that he will still continue to proofread my books for me. With this, I hereby promise him and to all of you that when I get my book published it will all be no verb tenses wrong and my spellings are perfect.

Changes

This year, lots of changes had changed all through out the year. And most of the changes starts with me. Because I am the one who changes first so I can influence other people. If I don't change at all, then everything is still in square one. People say that they want to change the world or save the world, but they have to know that they have to change and save themselves first before other people.

This is how the world is. You change yourself and others will change with you. When you start to change people can feel your change and they will become the change with you. Same thing goes to your things in life. Things are stationaries. They cannot change on their own. They don't know how to change because they don't have hands and they are not a living thing.

WE are the change agents. WE change who we want to be. If those people doesn't change with us or choose not to change then it is up to them. Because they choose to be that. They don't want to change doesn't mean you don't have to change either. We all change. It is up to us whether we are changing to be better or worst.

Choice is in our hands. I made a quote saying that 'we are the leaders of our lives. WE are the one who change or else we get left behind.' I might not have gone through that but I am here sharing with you this is so that everyone who is reading this is ready to change their lives. If you aren't then it is your choice. If you say that you are not ready then it is up to you. Because you are the one who gets left behind with the past. I am just here to wake you up so you can wake up and stop waiting for someone to change your diapers for you.

Now I am being straightforward here because, i dont want you to be left behind with the others. i know that as a baby we have to wait for others to change our diapers for us and it is nothing to be ashamed of. we are all babies once. if you say that you werent a baby once then i am gonna say that you are out of your mind. we gone through the same thing. and from diapers we learn how to use the toilet. we learn how to clean ourselves. that is a big change. that is a big break-through. if we dont learn how to use the toilet, then we probably are still in diapers and the diaper company is going to be making tons of money already.

as we change into new things, we are also learning. that is why we have to grow. the reason we grow older is because we have to learn how to change somethings in life. we have to admit to ourselves that things are going to change sooner or later. if it doesnt then at least the time is changing. and people around you are changing too. in the future everything is changing and you are still left behind with the old fashion tv which only shows black and white screens and no colours.

you dont want that do you? of course not. everything has to change. EVERYTHING. remember this if you dont change, PEOPLE change, LIFE change, FRIENDS change, RELATIONSHIPS change, THINGS change, and you will be the only thing which is not changed and called RETARDED!

*p.s. dont feel offended, i dont mean to make you mad or sad. i apologize if i hurt your feelings. with all my heart i apologize.*

Let's get movin!

October comes to last and November comes next. At this time, some countries have the winter some have the summer. But in Malaysia, we have summer all year. Instead of snow, we see rain drops. Instead of Autumn we have cloudy days. Instead of spring we have windy days. November usually isn't my most favourite time of the year. Because at this time, you have to practice saying your goodbyes.

To your friends who are leaving to another place or country. To the people around you who are moving on. To your colleagues who are going to another position or even another office which distances the both of you. To your boss who made a success in another area and moving to that office. To your classmates who are moving to another school. To your close friends who are going off to another university or colledge which is different from you.

You see, time fly so fast and moments can just pass by you. If you are aware enough, you can notice how much things have changed. People around you, relationships between you and someone else, life, and so forth. Once time change, things change, life change, people change and eventually you have to change too.

It shows that it is time to move on and give things up which is holding you down or stopping you from growing. Sometimes, it is hard to say those goodbyes or wishes even though they are just words because you never know if you will ever meet again. Maybe ten years later or twenty years. No one knows. Because it is all in the future. We have to plan it ourselves on whether we want that future to be true or not.

Kitchen Jokes

In the kitchen,...

Mom : Mabel, get me a pen please?
I pass my mother a frying pan.
Mom : No, I want a writing pen.
Me : Mom, when you are in the kitchen specify the type of pen or pan you want. Because in a kitchen you only can get frying pan, sauce pan, but not a writing pen.

Mom : Mabel, I need the paper.
Me : Ok.. *takes out the black pepper and gives it to mom*
Mom : I meant the baking paper.
Me : Mom, i suggest you start spelling out the things that you want next time.
Mom : Sure, I need the p-a-p-e-r.
Me : I am sorry mom. But what paper is it that you want?

Ha ha.. Yea i know the second one doesnt sound so funny but i just made it up. Well, anyways i just want to share with you guys that being in the kitchen with someone and doing something, you can make jokes out of it. It is a memorable moment. If it isn't for you but it is for me. You see in everyday life, there is always something that is worth it to remember about. Such as having a good laughter, or having some fun games in the park.

Well, there is a lot of things that you can remember in a day. There are also lots of things that can be remembered when you are doing something with your family or friends. this way can boost your energy and feelings in the day. i know i might sound like i am talking karma here but it is real. Most of all, spend more time with your family. you never know when is the last time you will see them. We have to spend more time with our people we love in a way to show that we appreciate and love them too.

Happy Birthday to ME!!

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to Mabel,
Happy birthday to me!!

Woots! Ha ha. I am going to be 15 tonight when the clock strikes 12 at midnight. Ooh, can't wait. Feeling all hyper... haha. Well anyways. Thank you to all who wishes me Happy Birthday. I really appreciated it. Love your sincerity.

Being 15 is like being born again with a new age. A new number that symbalizes how many years i have been staying on Earth. How many years I have been alive. And people say that getting older is not such a good thing because you have to be more muture and all those things. But to me, getting older is a good thing. It tells me that it is time to move on from the past. Time to reach out for more. Open those wings and fly around the world. Visiting every single place.

Lots of my friends don't know that it is my birthday and apologize to me for not wishing me happy birthday at school. I let it be because I want to keep it secret. I don't like having a big party of people telling me Happy birthday. Though I might enjoy it but i just prefer to keep it to myself. All I want for my birthday present is to see my whole family together and smiling. That is all that i ask for. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a smile can make my day.

Thank goodness there is no test today. So i can feel more relaxed. People used to say that the day you start putting on a pair of glasses, is the day you lose sight of your life. BUT, for me it is the day when i gain clearity of my future. I can see it right before me. I have it all planned perfectly. My family tells me not to make desicions too quickly, so i change it a little bit but it is still with the same intention.

Here i am going to share with you about my life intention. It is to live a fulfilled life, help people in various forms of ways, and share what i can and what i have learnt to the world. and here i am sharing with you all the things that i know and understand about. it is up to you to take the fish or take the fish and the fishing rod with you. Lessons are given, it is just up to you to choose which you pick. Fish or fishing rod with the fish.

I am BACK!

Hey, guys.. I haven't been on the blog for a long time and I apologize for that. I have been busy about my exams and homework.. Ah.. school life.. Well, other than school I am also busy at my own 'little project'. Which is my story. Have I told you that I am working on a teen romance novel. Well, I am. It is quite good though. Anyways, exams are tiring and making me feeling sick. I have headaches over them. I think I am having a flu because of exams. Many people feel sick after exams because of what stress is causing them to be.

Well, life has been great everyday. The universe has been kind to me and sending me challenges to testing my faith towards it. Let's just say that everyone have a life to lead and live in. It is up to us to decide how we want to think it turn out to be or how we lead our own lives. We can always choose how we want our life to turn out to be.

We are the ones who plants the seed of the future for ourselves. We are the ones who choose to plant the good or the bad seed inside of us that creates the future for ourselves. We also have to be careful on what kind of seed we plant. sometimes we don't even know that we are planting the wrong type of seed for ourselves. and the future is just ahead of us. even the next second is the future already.

we have to be careful on what we say too. like in the four agreements one of them is to be impeccable of your own words. it is true. when you are not aware of what you say, you might find trouble to yourself. that trouble might not come so quickly but it might happen in the next few days or some sort. so here i am once again to tell you all that this post is mainly about future, and being impeccable of what you are doing or saying because it can affect your future!!!

Salt & Pepper

Once there was a spice called Salt. He had a friend called Pepper. They were good friends. Never sepereated from each other. Together they were found on the dinning table. Together they were used as a spice by humans. One day, their owner had a feast. Lots of people came. Both Salt and Pepper sat on the dinning table. They started chatting about their backgrounds and what they were made of.

They found out that they were made under different company, different things, and different ways. They felt it was rather weird because the both of them were so different yet they still can be such good friends. And so, their friendship grew deeper.

A little kid came by. She was rather bored and asked Salt and Pepper why does people always put them both together? Salt replied " That is because we are good friends and people always use us together." She turned to Pepper and asked  "Then why is it so that mummy used Salt more than Pepper?" Pepper replied "Because I am more like a back up. If your mummy put too much of Salt, then she would add me to neutralise Salt." The kid just nods and went off to her way.

Salt turn to Pepper and say "What do you mean by neutralise? Are you saying that just because you are jealous that her mother used me more than she used you?" Pepper shaked his head and said "No, my friend. It is because when you went too far, I am there for you."

Be happy that your friends are different from you. They come to you because they are willing to help you out of trouble when you are in one. They are there when you feel down and lonely. They are your companion when you need one. They are your tissue when you cry. They are your umbrella when you are under a rain. They are your jacket when you feel cold. They are your light when you are in the dark.

Sometimes they are not just your friends but these people are your family too. Love them and they will love you. To all my friends around the world. If you are reading this, just to let you know I love you too.

October

So fast and it is October already.. Seems like time flies while we are waiting for it to pass. Sooner it will be my birthday and I am going to turn 15. At this moment, i should be very excited but this year everything is different. There isn't much excitement to be expected. October to me is like a birthday month. It is the month whereby most of the people I know are having birthdays.

Normally, I would be jumping up and down thinking about my upcoming birthday but I realise that it isn't actually the birthday we are celebrating. We are actually celebrating the year that has past. The knowledge we have learnt and the moments we have had. It sort of seemed like celebrating a new year and all that has passed is going to go the the column called 'past'.

At the beginning of the year I told myself that this is going to be the year of change. The year that EVERYTHING is going to change. And that includes me. It sure did change. Unknowingly, almost EVERYTHING in my life changed. People, and lots more around me changes situations.

When we celebrate birthdays, the birthday person gets a new age. Some adults don't really like to let people know their age. Not saying every adult but just some. Actually age is nothing but a number of year you have been living on earth. We should be glad that our age is bigger than the others. It shows that we have lived for how long on earth. I am glad that I am going to be a 15 because I have learnt for 15 years and I am using all that I have learnt.

So for those of you who are having birthdays on October, HAPPY BIRTHDAY~!! May you have a great new year of wonders and knowledge ahead of you. Also wish you have a wonderful age and memorable moments with your family.

Happiness

When you make someone happy, you will feel happy too. But that happiness isn't like any happiness. It is called inner joy. Happiness comes anytime you want it to. It can be now at this moment. Or later in a few minutes. It isn't neccesarry to make someone happy to be happy. You can be happy now. If only you choose to be happy.

You don't have to be rich, have a nice car, a beautiful house, or have all the desires that can fulfill yourself to be happy. Desires are forever there and will always be there. It is eternal. As human beings, our desire of wanting more never finishes. So never depend on fulfilling ourselves with all the desires because we will keep wanting for more.

We can choose to be anytime we want. We can choose happiness over sadness when we are not happy. We can choose to feel happy and let happiness flow through us so that we won't feel sad at all. In other words, we can be the ones who make the change and be happy. When we are happy, people around us will feel happy too. Then they will be happy and other people around them got influenced and be happy. If this keeps continuing then everyone in the world can be happy.

This is a shortcut to happiness. For those who believe in karma, they have a saying that what goes around comes around, it is true. When you be the one who is happy then maybe after a few minutes or days, you can feel happy from other people. It takes time,. It doesn't neccessarily meant that when you are happy other people around you will be happy too. No. It doesn't works that way.

Things takes time to change. People need time to adapt. Emotions takes time to built. Don't have to rush things. When you start to rush then you are having expectations in life. This way, you will never recieve happiness because, ecpectations only lead to failure. Don't expect to be happy but choose to be happy.

Life's fair when you think of it...

Life is always fair. Have you noticed that? but some people comes by and tells you that life is not fair, it is complicated, it is misarable and so on. But, it is all up to you to choose how life is. it is your life and no one can live it for you. it is your words that comes out from your mouth and you are the one who says it. so if you were to say that life is not fair then it is up to you. because you choose to say so.

but i warn you to be careful for what you say or wish for. because the universe is always hearing what you say. and that is why in the four agreements one of it is be impeccable of your words. and that is why there is law of attraction. if you say that life is fair, then you attract it because the universe gives you fair things. and being impeccable of your words is true.

if you think that life is always fair to you, the universe will send to you all those fair things and good things. because you told the universe that you want fair things in life. and this is something that i am practising everyday of my life.

if i say that life is good to me and everyone is good to me to then the universe will know that i want good things in life. then i will be attracting and having good things in life wherever i go. the forever kind universe is always listening to each and every single words we say. so be really impeccable of what we think or say. this way we can have what we want. by saying that life is fair to me and everyone of us.

Letting go

I remember last year I wore my black jacket all day long in school. Regardless on hot day or cold day. I wore it even when my teacher told me not to. Everyone thought I was going crazy wearing such a thick heavy jacket all day long when the sun was so bright up in the sky. It went on for days and days until the teacher doesn't bother to care if I was the only one wearing it.

I thought it was crazy too but I had my reasons. I was cold even on a hot day. The wind that blew into our classroom could make goose bumps on my skin. When people see me, they thought that I was a sick person. And that was how I got out of trouble when I was asked why I was wearing a black jacket. They thought that I was sick.

Well, I guess I was wearing it all year because I wasn't ready to let go. I wanted to keep every single memory I could inside of me. That was something I never realize. I kept telling myself that I need the jacket around my body. I don't feel safe. I need it with me. I need to protect myself. I gave myself lots of excuses and reasons just so I could keep the jacket over my shoulder.

But, now I look back. I see that there was a lot of things that I wasn't ready to let go when I put on that jacket. I was afraid of the changes around me. I wanted to keep things the way they were. Yet, through out the whole year, changes happened. The universe was telling me that somethings have to be changed. While some, remained the same.

I have new friends who came to my life and went away. I been through relationships which broke in the end. I have grades that went up and down just like life. People around me became more different. I lost friends and found some more. My environments changed. I had a dog and lost it. Friends going to other places. People relocated themselves. Different people approached me.

All these things around me. They changed. I was the one remained the same not wanting to let go of things around me. Like a horder I kept everything and afraid to lose it. Until the end of the year, I realize that the universe was telling me it is time to change somethings about me.

For some people it takes a long time to let go of things around us. Most of us are afraid of letting go of the past. That's why we are always living in the past and not willing to move forward. We forgot that time fly around us. If we don't change, the year may change. People we see everyday will change to.

We have to take action to let go of the things that should be gone. We can always keep what is best for us. But what's best for us is to let go of the pain, fear, and lots of sad moments. What's to be gone, let it be gone. What's to be kept forever it shall be kept. Don't be caught by the past. It is time for us to move on to the next level.

I always remind myself by telling myself that we are the leaders of our lifes. If we don't move on, no one else will move for us. For the legs and feet we have belong to us and so does the path. If it wan't the path that we choose then do not regret. Turn around before you fall into the trap of past. If it is too late to turn, don't regret too. Let go of the burden and you can soar like an eagle. Choose another path that you can take. Regrets are tons of bricks that holds you down.

If you want to fly as high as you want. Then it is time for you to let go of the mountain you are carrying behind you. Or the bricks of burden that you are pulling behind you. Letting go of the things and you will feel as light as a feather. Like a danlieon you can fly high up in the sky and never let anyone catch you.

Appreciate

This morning I went to the market with my mother and brother. Some guy who seems familiar keeps passing by us. My brother had a thought that he was a stalker. I thought that he might just be any other person who wants to talk to us but was too shy to. The first few times of meeting him, i thought it might just be a coincidence. But after a lot of times meeting him, I don't find it as a coincidence but as a want to be.

He keeps showing up all the time. And everytime he shows up, he looked at my brother like he was wishing that my brother could recognize him. But sadly, my brother doesn't. It seemed to me that this person wanted to talk to us. It was like he had seen us before. I kept fishing my mind for where did we met before, but there wasn't any memories of him in my mind.

I would have to agree with my brother that he was acting kinda weird and like a stalker but he looked just as innocent as he can be. Just another guy who we saw for a lot of time at a market. Some people might say that you might want to give it a re-think. But I would say that things happen like a meant to be.

Whenever we met someone just appreciate that we met them. Appreciate their appearance in our life so that we know that this person had existed before in our lifes. Appreciate is also a way to get out of anger. In fact, on my opinion, it is the fastest way. When we appreciate things, we start to love it. Unconditionally. And that is how love should be in life.

Appreciate your health for you can still live to see this post. Appreciate your eyes so that you are able to see these wonderful things around you and others may not see what you can see. Appreciate your lungs and heart for letting in oxygen and pumping it all over your blood system so that you can still be alive.

I appreciate my computer for working so that I can share this with you. I appreciate my fingers for typing out what I want to share with you here today. I appreciate my mother for giving me this life to learn and grow with you all. I also appreciate her for giving me this computer so I can create this blog and share with you what I have been aware of.

See, there is so many things we can appreciate about. You can even appreciate your stomach for working and letting you being able to eat all those delicious food around the world. Or appreciate your legs for letting you walking around the world and travel while some people don't have the chance to.

Not only that there are more than billions of things that you can appreciate. And when you start to appreciate things, the universe will know that you appreciate it and it will keep sending you more of it. But, remember this. Never demand. Never demand things and expect the universe to give you things at the moment you appreciate it. You have to appreciate things fully with your heart. Only then you can get what you appreciate.

I can't promise that you will always have what you appreciate. So, please don't get me wrong and get mad when you don't get what you want. It all takes time for things to happen. Be aware of what you are doing now and you will plant the seed of tomorow or even the next minute.

Be, Do then Have not have do then be

In order to have what you want to have you have to be it. You see, people are taught from a very young age by the society that to have what you have in order to do what you want to do then you can be what you want to be. But it is the complete reverse. You have to be unconditional love to have unconditional love in the form of giving then you receive.

If you want to have changes in your life then you have to be the change in your life. You have to be the one who step out and be the change. We are all leaders of our own life. So if we don't start a change no one around you will change. Everything starts from ourselves. We are the ones who influences others and they influence others.

So when you be aware, you will have clarity. Awareness comes in different forms of ways and anytime. It all depends on us to catch what we are thinking. Our mind is constantly rich with thoughts but we never narrow it down. When we do so, then we are starting to have awareness and clarity. It requires us to be very present and align our mind, body and spirit to be aware and have clarity. When we stay present means that we stop thinking about the things around us.

We have to stay very present and align in order to have very good clarity. Then we can know what it is that we want to do and the intention of it. If we know what we want to do then we will get things down quickly and without any mistakes. That is doing things with our heart. When we are doing things we don't expect a result. because expectations leads to something that you don't want.

when we know the intention of the things that we want to do. then we can do things more better with commitment. when you have commitment, and clarity then you can see your vision very clearly. when you think you don't see the vision or your vision is not clear then it must be that you have lost your clarity. and you have to start all over again.

when you have done all these things then it is time for you to accept what you get in return. because we have to know that we cannot change the world but we can only change ourselves. if we choose to change then others can feel the change within us. then they will change with us. if they don't change then it is up to them already. it is their choice to change or to stay the same. we cannot force others to be like us. everyone is unique. and we have to accept that. it is the fact.

Bake-a-thon & more..

Hey, my fellow readers. Sorry for not updating the blog for quite a while. Well, I am going to update with you with what I had been doing for the past few days. Let's see... homework, homework homework, and wait something else, nah, still homework. Ha ha. Oh, to make you all think that my life isn't that boring.. There is something new I can share with you. My mother and I had a bake-a-thon in the kitchen. I guess there isn't such thing as a bake-a-thon. But, I just invented it on Saturday night! Thanks to me now there is such thing as a bake-a-thon. WOOTS!!
Ok, now straight to the main point. During the bake-a-thon, my mother and I sort of bake/made 4 things in one go! 2 cakes, 1 Asian cake which we call "kuih" here in Asia, and 1 jelly! He he. Just to let you know, my definition of jelly is more like pudding kind of jelly. And jelly are my favourite so my mother kindly taught me how to make it as a reward for helping her..

Practically everything came out successfully except for the kuih. I guess the lesson was don't do 4 things or more in one go.. Ha ha, cause I am a multi-tasking person myself too. I always thought that multi-tasking makes things better.

Other than the bake-a-thon, I also am writing my own book! I don't wanna get your hopes up but it is more towards teen readers, romance. It isn't done yet because I am currently working on Chapter six and it is on page 47 now. Yea, I wouldn't call it much too. But it is going to finish soon enough, I guess.

So far, my mother's cakes has been successful enough to open a bakery shop. Ha ha I'm sure she can make good business out of it. She made chiffon cake, muffin, brownies, cupcakes, pies, Asian cakes. Lots more are coming their way. All mothers can always be very creative in some ways. Just like my mother and I. We follow the recipes and we add our own ingredients... I wish you all here to enjoy these lovely things that comes right out of the oven, but  I guess I can only spread it out to the world with my words.

Well, I guess that's all for this time. I promise to update you with everything interesting that come up right in my mind. Unconditional love from your blogger, this is TheGirlInBlackCardigan signing off.

We all said we will but did we?

We all said that we will help out in the environmental issues but did we? Are we practising it? Or we are just saying it for our ownself only? Are we doing what we preach? The earth that we are living in is shared between men and animals. The universe is kind enough to share this land with us so generously. Yet what are we human being doing towards it? Nothing but only destroying the beauty of it.

What once was filled with colours blooming everywhere is nothing but dull colour now. What once filled in the big blue sky and twittering now is gone to darkness of mist and smog. What once swam about in the sea freely, now is no longer be found but rubbish. What once was thousands of green glittring pennies was now dried up into nothing.

Compare the beauty of what we have back then and now. Before all the environmental issues happened, we had such a beautiful place that we lived in. And now? We've got nothing but tecknologies that keeps on changing each and everyday. The things we have now is all from what we had back then.

Without plants, we can't grow. Without water, we can't live. It might sound very selfish that I am here talking to you on the behalf of nature which I love so much. I know that I ,myself , also am part of this. We are all part of it. So why aren't we doing something about it?

We said we will recycle, did we? We said we will not waste, do we do what we say? We said we will keep clean, did we? We said lots of things but did we do what we say? I'm sure some of us do, but some of us forgot. I'm not saying that I did what I said. Even I myself also tend to forget to do what I said before.

So people, how can we call ourseleves loyal when we didn't do what we say? How is it possilble that we are trustworthy if we did not keep our words or walk the talk? Can we start commiting that we will help to be more eco-friendly and sincerely mean it? Can we do and mean it? I am sure I can. Can you?

I miss you, but i don't know you...

You come to my mind again. You always appear so suddenly and go unknowingly. Sometimes I might even dream about you. Who are you exactly? How come I don’t know your name or anything and yet I always thought of you. Worst comes to worst, I miss you. Why so? How did you manage to do so? Why are you in my mind but not in others? Who are you to me?
Can I know exactly where do you come from? This isn’t the first time already. Why is it my mind that you choose to rest on? I never heard anyone talking about missing someone randomly or unknowingly. They always know who they are missing, why they are missing that person and all these questions have answers to them. Yet I am the one who is always stuck with you.

Is it just my illusions about you? Have you really ever existed? I remember once in my dream that when I was close enough to fall down you caught me. But when I turned around my dream stopped. I woke up because of my alarm ringing in my ears. I could hardly make out what exactly you look like.

If only my dream last a minute longer. If only my alarm rang a minute later. I could almost make out your body shape. But it just stopped there. It stopped. Why can’t you just appear in front of me already? Am I not ready to see who you are?

Everything is getting weirder and weirder… Please just tell me who you are already. For my curiosity of you will never end.. You are always in my mind for some reason but I just dont know what is it.

I wont..

I wont forgive you.
No matter how many times you tried to apologise
No matter how hard you explained
I had enough already
So forget about it.

I won't remember you.
No matter how you come to me
No matter how much you tried
It's over now
So move on.

I won't please you.
No matter how much you influence me
No matter how guilty you feel
I had done my part
So go away

I won't make you proud
No matter how much you beg
No matter how much it cost
I did whatever I could
So face it

I won't save you
No matter how much it hurts
No matter how your deep your pain
I did it before but not anymore
So treat yourself or suffer like I did

What is... a book?

The book is a treasure chest
Filled with histories to newer generation

It is a bird that doesn’t fly away
Yet it has many wings

It is a Hollywood film
But it is written in papers

It is something that can
Bring us to another universe

It is a sleeping potion
Bringing people to sleep

It is a door to the world
For those who are ready for an adventure

Broken Heart

             Teenage                                                           love                      

         Comes                       and                               goes.                       Breaking

             young                                          hearts          apart                                               as

          it                                                           grows.                                                     Shattered

     hearts                                                                 are                                                      collected.

  This                                                              love                                                               doesn’t

     ends                                                     at                                                                           all  

         Young                                                lovers                                                      declares

                their                                                      love                                                   to

                       be                                        forever                                                 as

                               told.                       Then                                           fidelity

                                       is                          broken.                         There

                                             goes                      another             heart

                                                       is            being         broken

                                                             once     again    and

                                                                       again

No more...

I want to forget you
But it’s impossible
What can I do?
I have done my best to forget

I know that I’m not worth your time
That’s why I want to just be friends
She deserves you more than I do.
You both look better together

The more I try to avoid
The more I wish to hide
Can I just be a mole?
So I can start digging my own hole

Why this feeling again?
Every time you are around
The more feelings I gain
The more I receive pain

Please come back no more
Let’s stop this fantasy of you and me
I know I might start crying
So please … don’t come back for me

Stationery

Erasers are my best friend
On my table forever it rest
It is always patient towards me
And correct all my mistakes

Mechanical pencil is always kind
It is made with a heart
That it generously share with me
When it’s heart stop I will give it a refill

Pens bruises up exercise book
It is forever in pain.
Blue and black bruises from students
Because of the red strokes from teachers

Rulers made out of plastics or metals.
No one could lie through them in measuring things
They are forever accurate
They also informs if we are accurate

Scissors have metallic legs
They are like flashing blades
Snipping papers away in seconds
All under my command

I admit…

I admit I done my best
To try to impress you
I know I’m not worth it
I am nothing compared to you

I admit I lied to you
But that wasn’t what I intended to do
All I wanted to do
Was show you what I am capable of

I admit I’m not a good joker
Instead I’m a loner
Could I just see you smile

One minute or a while

I admit I want to make you proud
But it turned out to be other way around
I have done what I could do

Still I’m not good enough for you

An Emo Valentine

Valentine’s should be perfect,
But this year it is not,
You killed me instantly
And you took my soul away.

You brought me 13 roses.

But they were all dead.
You told me you’d love me
When they turned alive.

You said you want to break up.
Then you walked away,
You left me there crying
And didn’t turn back

My heart shattered
Into billions of pieces
It stopped its beating
The moment you walked away.

 You do realize you killed me
And you left a deep scar
So deep that it hurt
The doctors could not heal.

My teacher

Wonderful teacher you were
Just like a preacher
Taught me right and wrong
And to be stubbornly strong

Won’t know verb tense
Or the word sense
Without you there all the time
Your teachings are more precious than diamond

You taught me to smile
At least once in a while
Don’t be sad
And yet just be glad

I don’t mean to hurt you
But you could be a rooster
You told us when the bell rang
And made us all ran.

Life can be

Life can be full of things,
Just like purposes,
Or some intention
It;s what you want it to be.

Life can be happy,
In every single moment,
Feeling of joy,
In the air we breathe.

Life can be magical,
Living in fantasy,
Fantasizing in a world,
That we always wanted.

Life can be challenging,
In every single moment,
Facing new things everyday,
Finding new ways.

Life can be about work,
Lots of things to deal with,
Deadlines are everywhere,
Every second counts.

Life can be amaizing,
Just like you and me,
How things were created,
And how this world was made.

Life can be organized,
In lots and lots of ways,
Just like the languages we speak,
But still we are the same.

Life can be full of opportunity,
Comes and goes away,
Brings us along if we catch it,
Leaves us behiknd if we don't.

Life can be wonderful,
Like everything around us,
Like this world that won't stop spinning,
All is a meant to be.

Life can be full of excitment,
Anytime, anywhere, anyhow,
Everything has it's excitment,
In the ways we see it.

Life can be anything,
But never boring,
Because it is just full,
Depends how we choose to look at it.

It's over.

Time goes so slow,
As i watched Oprah's show.
I got bored and watched the moon glow,
Then my phone rang it was from you, Mario(fake name).

You told me today is my best day!
Then i replied you the same way,
I wondered that it was a beautiful day,
So why waste it away?

You asked if I want to come over,
And have a sleepover,
I told you I'll ask my mother,
She said yes, so i went when the shows over.

We had such fun that night,
Outside the stars were so bright,
We switched off the light,
And enjoy the view of the moonlight.

Everything was so perfect,
When the timing was correct,
You declared your feelings for me direct.
I went shock instead.

You asked me to be yours forever,
Foolish I was to believe we would last forever
Until I saw you with another,
You tried to explain when you saw me over and over.
I'm sorry, I'm tired it's over.

Looking at a different perspective

I am not sure if you all ever tried this but I guess I am going to share with you about it. The title of this posting is "Looking at a different perspective" is because I believe that when you look at things from a different view everything looks very different. The feeling is different, the experience and lots more changes.

When you only look things from one point of view then you can't see what is "the beyond". It is actually like creating a fog or a mist that blinds you from what is actually going on. You are only concentrating on what is in front of you and you don't see the "otherwise".

But when you look at things from a different view, you can see what is actually going on. You can feel the difference between your view and what other people see. Not saying that we look on a different view to judge yourself or others, but if you do see things that is different then it is time for you to be aware of what is around you.

Some people might say that "I have a wonderful day." You might say that it is true if you believe that person or not true if you don't. But you haven't been at that place to experience what that person had so you can't say that the particular person did or didn't have a wonderful day.

When you look from his point of view of what he has done and what the definition of his "wonderful day" means then you can say that it is a wonderful day or not. But saying that it is wonderful is up to that person to say. Because it is his experience and it is something worth to be mentioned as wonderful towards him or her.

Asian Day

Hey guys, I had the most deliciuos, irrisistable, tastiest and juciest chicken chop in the whole world. Because my mother is the one who made it haha. Well, of course because it is the one and only chicken chop though haha. Anyways, I watched animated movies with my mother and brother.

It sound funny watching kids movie but it is more funnier when you are watching comedies with your families. Really should enjoy more time together with your families. Anything you do with your family that makes you happy is a moment meant for remembering...

Having a blast in the kitchen.. at night.

"Into the KITCHEN!!!" I shouted. "It's time to make our own  food." Tonight, my mother and I are having fun in the kitchen. We made homemade simple yet easy hamburgers and cupcakes. And I am going to share with you some of our recipes.

For the hamburger, we used minced pork(if you wish you can always use other meat), an egg, hot sauce, and some sauces. Then we baked the meat in the oven(which you can always choose to grill them but we used oven instead because it is much more easier) Followed by the bun. Lastly with a light touch of mayonnaise and pieces of veggies we enjoyed our hamburger. Boy it taste so yummy and the meat was so juicy that our mouth started to water even when it is still in the oven...

For the cupcakes, we it really simple. We use sugar, butter, eggs, self-rising flour and lots more secret recipes. Ha ha.. It is our first time making our own homemade cupcakes. My mother keep on mentioning about it being very easy and all. I guess she is trying to stay positive. Oh, well. It is our first time after all. So... I guess it will be better if we stay positive on the first time whenever we do something.

After having the cupcakes fresh out of the oven we have to let it cool down before we can start decorating or eating them.. Mm... smells nice... My brother thinks that we are are making cakes which turns out to be small cupcakes that overflow the cupcake holders. Well even though it is getting really late but we are still up making cupcakes.

The icing part is the hardest. It takes up most of the time. Actually if you think that cupcakes without icing is better then it might be fine if you were to just eat it up like the way it is originally. But since we already started with making it I think we should just get on with it.

In the end, the frosting takes lots of time because my mother didn't put butter into it. Can't blame her for that. The ingredients we used are too sweet.

Office

Working in a office isnt such a fun place,
It is like a cell with computers and mountains of work.
Like slaves they were tied to their seats
In a cold place you just work and work.

In the office fingers taps
Mouse scrolls on the table.
No laughter can be heard
No smiles are on the face.

People in the office are like prisoners
Serious faces nothing more
Even if they can show expression
The first one is tiredness on their faces

Some office are rather different
Unlike all those dull faced offices
Though fingers do keep tapping
Conversations can be heard in a while.

Workers here brighten your day.
They will smile everyday.
They also have vacations instead of sticking to work.
No matter how much they work they still try to smile.

Workaholics

Most workaholics got sick and all.
Because they don't knwo how to take care of themselves at all.
In their dictionary there is only one word which is work,
That's why they can't live withour work.

It is hard to see workaholics smile,
Not even a second what more to say a while.
It is like finding The promised land on Earth,
It takes them forever to finish their work.

Why is it so hard to just smile?
Just lift your muscles and it takes a while.
Isn't it so easy and simple?
At least a grin it's still considered a smile.

Why so serious all day long?
What are you so frustrated all along?
Why not just smile for a while?
It is not like walking a thousand mile.

Workaholics never get tired of work,
They could glue their eyes ton their computer 24/7.
Only their fingers tire and mouth filled with thirst.
Other than that, they can sit and work

Life is never fair, let's face it.

"She did it," he cried as he pointed his long finger at me. "She's the one who left the key on the door."
*sigh* I wondered, why am i always the one to be blame whenever something goes wrong? Why am i always the one who did something wrong not others? WHY?! I don't get it. Everytime something goes wrong or something is missing or so-whatever, it is always have to be me. Why is life never fair with me? What have i done wrong to them? I didnt do amything wrong. I wasn't even the last one and yet i am to be blame. Gosh! I am just like 'the-person-to-be-blame-everytime' kind of family member. I guess my life is never intended to be fair though...