Saturday, 25 October 2014

My first independent birthday, my last 18th birthday.

This year is my 18th birthday. And this year is the year where I have my first independent birthday. I say it is independent because it is my first birthday on my own. No one celebrates with me because no one is around to celebrate with me. 

But then I gave it a second thought and what I thought is that 18 means I am legal adult. Means that I am a young adult now. I have to take care of myself. I have to know how to be independent. 

So I thank universe for giving me this birthday where I live a day of my own birthday alone.
I thank universe for giving me a chance to be 18 years old. 
I thank universe for giving me days ahead of me to meet the second, the next hour, day, minute, week, month and year. 
I thank universe for being kind to me and letting me to live a new year. 

A new age, a new shade. 
A new year, a new face.
A new me, a new you. 
A new chapter, a new life. 

Thank you, universe and all of you that existed, past, and stayed in my life.
Thank you, for the lessons you teach and taught me. 
Thank you, for being there for me.
Thank you, for letting me see the world in another view. 

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

I am doing drawing requests


I am doing drawing requests from anyone and anywhere and anytime. Lol.

I am doing drawing requests to practice my drawing and maybe one day I can be a freelancer when I am a pro in this field. Drawing is my hobby so why not earn something from it right?


I only, and only, do black and white drawings. As you already can see from my other drawings they are black and white. Maybe I will put some here of my recent ones so you can have another think about requesting for a drawing.

My goal for drawing is to make people feel like they are part of the art world and I want to make people think they can feel the art literally. Like it is so real it does not require imaginations to admire the art. I don't want people to feel the barrier between the art world and the human world. I want people to feel a part of it, you see?

So, contact me  me if you wish to request for a drawing.

Monday, 1 September 2014

When I die

When I die, don't bury me in the ground.
For after some time, 
you would be talking to 
bones and an empty casket. 
That would be very saddening and boring 
At the same time. So don't.

When I die, don't cremate me. 
Because you would be talking 
to an urn with white powder 
of what I once was. So don't.

When I die, don't let me flow into the rivers. 
It would smell very bad. 
don't want that to happen 
to the river. So don't. 

When I die, don't preserve my body. 
It would only be a container of 
what once contained my soul. 
Not me.So don't.

When I die, and since u don't know
what to do with me. 
Celebrate my life. 
Remember my name.
Cherish our times.
Bury me nowhere but in your heart.
Because that's where I belong.

Saturday, 7 June 2014

Lil taste in carbs

Okay so, I had a lil experiment myself tonight (which is morning in the west side). The doctors said that long term of protein (meat) and fiber (veggies) is not good for the kidney even though it is good for the weight. I am not suggesting you guys to do protein and fiber all the way just to get that "weight". What I am saying is that you need carbs as well to get your energy for the day.

I am an Asian and considered to be stereo typically can't go without carbs which is in the rice I can go without for a very long time and fine with it. And I recently am going back to eating my carbs and I have a problem. I don't really like eating rice unless I am REALLY hungry. Which means that most of the time I have my meal I am not that hungry. Just need to fill up my stomach for energy.

So! To my point and why I posted this.

I was steaming my rice (cause I don't cook it in a big portion that is when you use a rice cooker for that), I decided that plain o' rice is getting boring. So I took out some rosemary and thyme and sprinkle it on top of the water (which is supposed to be at least half the tip of your fore finger). I left it for about 15 minutes (which depends on the proportion that you have) and voila.

Although the herbs are like stuck together into one blob on the rice, and I'm kinda a perfectionist in arts, but it's fine with me. It tasted rather like you are eating the smell of the herbs instead of eating it, that's cause my herbs are not enough.

I would have used basil or bay leaf instead if I still had them but they run out. So yeah, give it a try. Maybe the first time you would instantly fall in love with it or maybe you won't which also takes time cause trial and error makes perfect sometimes.

Give it a try. Maybe you'll find other herbs that works with rice better than I do. Oh and not to mention, herbs meaning that herbs you have, herbs you are willing to give a try or herbs that you like.

So yeah.

Kindest Regards,

Wednesday, 4 June 2014

I have a snail.

Yes, a snail. Like a snail snail.

I found it on the floor of my living room today. I can't pick it (cause you know snail can be male and female, IF I am not wrong) and it's practically so dry to the sense that the snail can't really move very easily. But my floor tiles are smooth so it is easier for it to move.

And I was watching it cause it kinda like don't do much at all when I placed it in a small container as it's home, it likes to move around a lot. It kept crawling around the container and out of the container. There was a drop of water on the outside and he suck it up. For a moment I thought snails don't drink  water. Well, illusion broken. So I thought 'hey, maybe it is very thirsty that's why it came in to ask for water to drink'. Yeah, that's me and my imagination.

So I got it a small cup of water, and it submerged itself into the water. I told it not to get it there and it just did. It's eyes were closing and opening inside the water. That moment I thought if snail's eyes are sensitive as us. Like their eyes can't be in contact of water as well. But maybe that's just this species. Maybe. Then it got out of the water and it's all slimy again. I guess he went in to get literally hydrated.

I call it "niu-niu" while "niu" actually means cow in Chinese. The reason I called it "niu-niu" (or 牛牛) in Chinese is because in Chinese snail is called 蜗牛。(wo-niu) And I don't know if it is a guy or a girl or both so yeah. Niu-Niu it is as I supposed.

He slept at the outside of the container. Just hangin' there and sleepin'. I wanted to put it inside the container to sleep but it resisted. It was actually stuck there (in my point of view) but then I realized he just wanted to hang there and sleep.

Well, cheerios! Niu-Niu is still sleeping. Shhh...

kindest Regards,

Thursday, 24 April 2014

Lessons As Promised

Hey guys, just so you know, as I promised I posted lessons on the side which is under the label Lessons. Feel free to look over for some lessons!

I know I just posted one. But I am working on my schedule to get other lessons up and ready for you guys to read as well! So please give me some time and don't lose hope on me. I will post as soon as I got the time. But it also takes the kind of inspiration to write the lessons and elaborate them so that you and I understand it in a deeper level other than just knowing what the lessons are.

So Cheerios, I will post when I can. Which might be after my May exam. So yeah, Have a nice day/afternoon/night!

Kindest Regards,
Mabel Ngu

Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Sorry not sorry.

I am not sorry for not having the perfect figure.
I am not sorry for not being smart enough.
I am not sorry for not being vulnerable and not strong enough at situations.

I am not sorry that I cry at times when I don't know what to do.
I am not sorry that I don't know what I am doing sometimes.
I am not sorry that I have hard times remembering things.

I am sorry for you because you are missing out the best part of me.
I am sorry for you because you don't even know who I am.
I am sorry for you because you can't be you.

I am sorry that you can't understand my jokes.
I am sorry that you never stopped down your tracks and enjoy life as it is.
I am sorry that you have hard time knowing what I am talking about.

At least, I get to be my authentic self in my everyday life.
At least, I get to be with myself once in a while.
At least, I get to be the one remembering the memories I created.

At least, I know that most of the time I don't regret my choices.
At least, I don't look back at my past and curse at it.
At least, I realize that life is a beautiful thing instead of trying to end it.

At least, I have known how to live my life.
At least, I have days before me that I can remember what I have done.
At least, I have made someone laugh each day of my life.

At least, I understand that I have a purpose in life.
At least, I understand that choices are what brings me here.
At least, I understand that by posting this post I am teaching a lesson that only some of which will understand.

Sunday, 13 April 2014

Take a rest.

When we are all tired and weary,
When we are all running and meeting deadlines,
When we are all doing things and never stopped to take a breath.

We need to be reminded we are still human.
We have feelings and need to rest for a while.
We require water to replenish our thirst and food for energy.

To all out there that are constantly running in this journey of life.
To all out there that needs a break from this deadline you are facing.
To all out there that have to stop and take a breath.

This journey of life needs time to enjoy.
This scenery is made for us to breathe in and remember.
This moment will be gone if not taken a few minutes to be kept in memories.

A few minute break is not much, but it is enough to replenish the energy that is lost.
A good deep breathe is not much but it is enough for your mind to take a break.
A good sleep with no worries about deadlines and works is not much but enough for the day.

Although your work is important.
Even though you can't stop.
Even if you can't take a day off

At least, rest for a few.
Have time for yourself.
Don't forget, you need rest to have energy for the next day.

Saturday, 12 April 2014

IT's not about... but it's about...

It's not about the figure that you see.
It is not about what you feel about it.
It is not about what you think about me.

It is about what and who I am inside.
It is about the inside rather the outside.
It is about what is contained inside that wonderful person that you see.

It is not the cover you judge.
It is not the thought about that situation.
It is not the peer pressure that makes you choose.

It is about the side of you that choose wisely.
It is about the inner you telling you what to pick.
It is about the kid inside of you that allows you to be authentic.

Saturday, 5 April 2014

Studying = Stu-dying

Hey guys, I know I said about this before, or I think I did... But here's something that you guys should know about education and it's importance
Here’s what:
You can dislike studying and hate it so much and get the worst result possible in your school and ask yourself everyday “what is the point of doing this” or you can embrace studying as something interesting and be glad that you have the privilege to study and probably you’ll find studying is much more easier that way. 
We , as in the ones that are privileged to be reading this or having the basic needs covered, are living in a society or in an environment that we are too privileged in a way that we don’t appreciate what we are able to have. 
I am not going to use poor countries like Africa, Vietnam, India, etc as an example here because I know that in most countries, there are also people who are not able to afford for education. 
So here’s what I am going to ask you,
If you dislike education so much, would you rather change your situation with those who are begging for education and to be taught with education?
I am not sure if you know what kind of situation that they have or what kind of things they do on their daily basis if they ever survive another day as I don’t know myself. 
But guess what?
Without education, you probably won’t even know what I am writing or what I am trying to tell you. 
Without education, you probably won’t be able to be sitting in front of your computer or looking at your phone about this post. 
Without education, you probably won’t know what will kill you so you would just take in everything that you have in hand that looks edible to you. 
Without education, you probably won’t realize what is happening around you because you don’t have the access to it. 
Yeah, sure. Your parents will take care of you even if you don’t study or learn skills. 
Sure, your parents will still raise you because they love you. 
Sure sure, I am yabbing and nagging at you about how studying is a good thing for you and things like that. 
BUT there is something I didn't add about the without education. 
Horrifying? Yeah I know. You don’t think it will happen. But you know what? It happened to many people out there. Because they don’t know the right words to say at the right time. And they get themselves into trouble most of the time. 
I am not here to tell you that studying is the way to survive. Neither am I here to tell you that studying will not help you survive either. 
What I am saying here is that studying is one of the stage in life that you have to go through if you are privileged to have it.
If you hate studying, then just stop. You don’t have to continue.
Just stop studying.
Tell your parents you don’t want to study anymore. 
Go into the society. 
Try to get a job.,
Try earning money without complaints.
And don’t come back whining. 
DON’T come back begging for studying. 
Then you will know what I mean. 
I guess that is how people will learn these days. 
Putting them into the society then they will realize. 
But wait.
Not everyone would learn from the lessons they have. 
I am not trying to be harsh to you. 
But I am just telling you. 
Education = one of the way you survive in this kind of world now. 

Friday, 4 April 2014


Although I didn't get the chance to upload on the day it was 4/4/04 because I didn't even know what is a blogger. But then at least I got the chance to get all the 4's aligned at the end of the numbers of the day, month and year.

So how's everyone? Doing fine? I will be glad to hear that. If not, how so? Well you can tell me on kik : Mabelistical or look at my lessons on instagram. Although I don't post lessons everyday... like I should.

But hey, I have an idea. I would just post the lessons here when I have 10 lessons together! Or maybe I should just post one lesson and elaborate or explain about it. How do you guys like that?

Good idea?

Yeah, I will do just that.

See ya in the next post!

Kindest Regards,
Mabel Ngu

Tuesday, 1 April 2014


Oh and I was meaning to tell you all that I am going to leave blogger for quite sometime because I need to do some important things. I am not sure how long does it take but I might not be back for years. So... Yeah.

I am really sorry to leave you guys alone. I am sorry I am not going to be here for "quite" some time and not being able to blog anything or share lessons I have learnt.

I still love you all..

I really do.

And I appreciate all your supports in helping me to keep this blog alive. I always come here and post because I remember that many of you are still out there waiting for me to blog some posts and share some of my lessons.

But it seems like time has ended here.

It seems like our time has come to bid goodbyes.

I really don't want to ...

But I have to..




Kindest Regards for the last time,

*smile widening*

*smile gets wider*

*can't help the smile*

*starts chuckling*



APRIL FOOL YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH and I did it tonight so that all of you from the west can see this.

Happy April Fool's Day Guys!

Okay.. not funny... moving on...

*goes to the corner and grieve with the spring leaves blowing past by and pollen flying by with the wind, spot light on*

"Eh, who is that?" By passer says.

"No idea." Another says. "Wait, isn't that Mabel?"

"What is she doing there?" the first one says.

"No idea. Let's go." the latter says.

Thursday, 27 March 2014

Let her go lyrics

Hey guys, I am doing let her go by passenger lyrics. Not because I don't have anything else to post but there is something behind the song that you guys should know. And it is a simple lesson that needs to be learnt. Hope you guys notice it and enjoy!

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
Cause you loved her too much and you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
Ooooh ooooh ooooh

And you let her go
Ooooh ooooh ooooh

Well you let her go

Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Sunday, 23 March 2014

The Funny Thing About You

You know, I noticed recently that there is something "funny" about you. 
No. Not just you. But also everyone. 

1. "Yeah, I'm free to talk with you. What's up?" I said "nothing much, hey you know that Paris smog has doubled Bei Jing?" 10 minutes later, "You there?" Another 10 minutes later, "If you are busy, then just say so" 5 minutes later, "Yeah I know that. And I wasn't busy" So I think to myself "So what did you do within 25 minutes? Died to hell and the angel mistaken you so he took you to heaven and then God says you are not the one to die today and then push you back down to earth to reply me this?" 

2. "I will make time for you." And then I say hi, after an hour or two, he replies hi. Yeah, you sure do make time alright. 

3. "Sorry, I am busy with work just now." Me: Saw you twittering, facebook status updating, tumblering, editing pictures on instagram, "Yeah, I understand." That is your "work" after all. What can I say? 

4. "I'm gonna go to sleep. I'm feeling sleepy already. Night."  Me: "Kay, night." Goes onto Facebook and saw that the person is online. he probably hasn't turn off his facebook.The person posts on Facebook. I go to twitter and see him having a LOOOONG conversation of good night. Yeah, you are sleepy. Sure. Sure. Shakes head.
5. "No, I'm not talking to anyone but you". BUT! But, ha ha, you replied to the wrong conversation about the wrong thing. How nice of you telling me the truth. Well, there are lots of you out there you know what I'm sayin?

6. "I'm gonna take my shower" , and guess what? 10 minutes later, you are still on the phone doing something (whoever knows but you) and when I asked if you are done, you said "No, I'm still halfway to the bathroom" So I'm like 'wow. how far is your bathroom? Do you need to take a plane there?'

7. "I'm gonna eat my meal. So ten minutes tops. Kay?" That being said is very surprising that you actually know what ten minutes is like. Because you see, 10 minutes seems to turn into 10 hours to you. Seems to me that you are eating a king feast instead of a picture of a small burger that you showed me. 

8. "I don't like musics that people scream so loud and you can't hear anything" This, this is said from a guy who is like young adult age? Yeah, and then he introduced me to his favorite band and turns out that it happened to just like how he said that he doesn't likes it. So I am here, scratching my head thinking that did I misunderstood him or something?

BUT this post is just a joke okay? JUST FOR LAUGHS. If it isn't funny then... fine... *goes to corner, forefinger touching and leaving as the autumn leaves flew by and the cold wind blows with the spotlight on me* hahaha oh well. That's just me.. 

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Dream BIG even when life puts you down

Hey guuuuys out there,

It's me again. Recently, well actually for the past few weeks, I started to talk to a guy who is in Indianapolis, USA.

And this guy has a big heart. Very nice person to talk to. He is turning 20 this year, and he isn't in college yet. The reason he isn't is because he is now on the downside of life. And I believe that he would be on the upside again. Very soon.

Now to get to my point, and the essence of this post, is that he has a dream. And his dream is to be a psychiatrist and he also shares a dream with me that is to own an island. What he says to me is interesting. Because now, as you know, life is treating him very badly. He has to stay in motel. And move from one place to another.

That has nothing compared to the people who has no food or shelter. I am talking about just poor. Not very poor. And as you can see, or read from this post, that this guy hasn't give up in life. Although he would ask for a home. A proper house and home for his families.

His younger siblings stays with his mother. And they get abused if they don't do things right. His older siblings are studying. And what he said was "I am glad that I am the one not schooling." When he said that, he didn't mean it in a way that he hates schooling. His teachers love him because he always give the right answers in class and gets good grades for the subjects he studies.

And yet, after all these, he still dreams for an island. When I told him that I share the same dream, he says that once he bounce back he will work hard for that.

You see, the thing here is that it's not about being poor. It's not about being rich either. It's about having a dream even when everything around you is spiraling downwards. Because, a dream is what makes everyone keep living on everyday. It's something that helps you to have something to aim for in life. It isn't about being a billionaire or save the whole world from starvation.

A dream can be small. But it depends on how you see the dream as. A big dream is a long term dream. A small one can be something that you can reach for in the short term.

But the whole thing about this post is that, even when everything is not going right, you still have to pick yourself up, stop dragging your feet. Keep walking. If you can, RUN! FLY! Whatever it is that can keep you on the journey.

BUT the most important thing in the journey is that light in front of you. It has to be there. It MUST BE THERE. And how do you get that light you ask? Have intention. Set it right and your light is there. But it is blur and small. Then you have to clarify it. BE specific with your intention. Then your light will be brighter.

If you see it, then start walking towards it. RUN. FLY. But if it isn't walk. It is still going to be there. Find your intention again and you will still see it.

In life we go round and round and round until we meet the destination although that road is straight. But this is life. This is why it is called a journey. HENCE THE WORD LIFE JOURNEY, duh...

If it would help you, find someone that you know will remind you of your goal and intention. It'll be great if it's someone you can trust and cares for you. If they aren't find another one. Don't hesitate. Look for it and you will find. Like in the Bible, "ask and you shall receive" although I am not religious but if that is how you relate to it, then so be it.

So my friend, Find that intention. Clarify. Seek and you shall find, and then Walk towards it. You might fall into some pits and mud swamp along the way, but hey, it's challenges. It's there to teach you how to get out of it and when to avoid it.

And with that, I end this post.

Kindest Regards,

Sunday, 16 March 2014

200 post!!!!

Wow. I made it to 200! WOHOO ME!!

Well, I'd like to thank those people who reads my blog and still reads it.

What catches my eye on the ,urm... what do you call that..., status report or dashboard?  Is that there are people who reads my blog from Russia and India.

I just noticed that India reached to 15 this week. And Russia is 11. Can't believe myself that you guys actually would take your time to read my blog. Haha. So glad. Well, at least I am not writing this on my own and talking to myself.

Anyways, I just want you all to know that your consistent of reading has actually motivated me to write more.

I started to draw again. I think I didn't post my drawings here. Did I? Or maybe I didn't for the latest one. I'll post it up in the next post.

Thank you all for your kindness, time and support, I will keep on writing!



Just finished today.
I started out with difficulties on drawing the whole thing.
The cat and the guy are from blue exorcist.
And I really like my shading.

Please don't

Please don't like me
For I am filled of scars.

Please don't like me.
For I am incapable.

Please don't like me.
For I only know pain.

Please don't like me.
For I know you'll only cause pain.

Please don't like me.
For I wish for no more.

Please don't like me.
For I want no more.

Please don't like me.
For all I know is nothing but fear.

Please don't like me.
For I know to you, I'm nothing.

Please don't like me.
For we both know you don't like me at all.

Monday, 10 March 2014

After 2 years of not drawing.

Hey, guys.

This drawing is after 2 years of not drawing.

It's from an anime, blue exorcist. It's an old anime but I still like it.

This is from one of the scenes.

Friday, 7 March 2014

You said, And now?

You said you'll be here. 
For me and whenever I am down.
When I need a shoulder to cry on.
And now, where are you?

You said you are tired. 
Too tired to talk.
Yet, you promised to make an effort. 
But now, where are you?

You said you are getting busier.
Don't have time for me. 
And then you go on twitter and facebook chatting with people.
It's fine. But what about me?

You said you are working hard. 
Trying to save money so you can see me. 
And now you are out there somewhere doing whatsoever. 
That's all fine. But how about me?

You said all that 
You promised all that
And then your heart is not here at all. 
So what's the point?

And now I know you lie. 
Now I know you betray. 
Now I know you hurt.
Now I know you are nothing. 

I am not crying.
I am not tearing down. 
I am not breaking up.
I am not falling apart. 

BUT I am standing.
BUT I am walking
BUT I am flying
BUT i am alive.

NOW I am walking away.
NOW I am leaving.
NOW I am crushing.
NOW I am stepping on top of you. 

For I know I hurt you before 
Therefore it is fair you do the same. 
And now it's fair and square. 
I shall leave. 

Friday, 7 February 2014

Past, present, future

Hey guys, been a long time since I was here (again). But I brought a lesson for you all today.
If you keep staying in the past, you are holding into yesterday.
You aren't willing to let it go yet.
You still want to have what you had yesterday.

If you are in the present, you are aware of what is happening around you.
You know what is going on.
You won't be lost.
You know what you want to do.

If you are in the future, you are worrying over tomorrow.
You think of nothing but tomorrow.
You worry for what may come tomorrow.

Now let me tell you this:
The past is gone.
It won't come back.
It's just a memory for you to keep.

Not for you to brag and linger on the old days.

The present IS now.
The now is what you have in hand right now.
The now is what you can only have and enjoy.
The now is what creates tomorrow.

Now the future is nothing to be worried about if you have planted the good seed today.

The future is tomorrow.

If you have so much I'm your plate to eat, how are you going to take more if you are only given one plate?

If your cup is already full, how are you going to contain more tea?

If you are already bloated, how are you going to stuff more good into you?

The past is something we keep in our memory bank. And by that I do not mean that you consistently think about it. That is staying in the past.

The present is what you cherish. This now I'd what you have in hand.

This now is what you create for tomorrow.

This now is the time for you to learn and enjoy.

The future is beyond today.

It is not for you to think about until you reached tomorrow.

Tomorrow has it's own worries.
Deal with today and forget about tomorrow.
When it is tomorrow, then we think about it.

Sunday, 2 February 2014

You are you

You can never be anyone else but you. No matter how hard you try to change. No matter how much you changed. You will always have that 1% unlike them.

People change to become their role model.
People change to look like their idols.
People do ANYTHING to be someone else but themselves.


Because they think that they have to be like them.
They take their role model into account that they have to be like them.
Nelson Mandela or mother Theresa are both good role models.
But no one can be like them.
Because no one can be replaced.

No one is replaceable.
No one can be represented.
No one can be someone else whom they are not born to be.
So why not just be yourself?

Why not just be the unique you?

Because some of us are lacking confidence in ourselves that we don't think we are good enough.

We think that our role model are better.
We think that we have to be like them to be accepted.


Everyone is accepted in the society once they are born.
Everyone is already part of the society when they are born.
Everyone IS the society once they are born.

Just like one of the sentence in Eminem's lyrics in his song "Beautiful"

He said that
"God gave you these shoes to put you in. So just put them on and wear it. Be yourself man. Be proud of who you are."

So just be yourself and be proud of it.
Because you never know that one say you might lose yourself because you are trying too hard to be someone else.

Saturday, 1 February 2014


My body, statued to the ground.
My mind, replaying things over and over again.
My soul, trembling without knowing what to do.
My heart, cracking, piece by piece.

Little did I know, you'd say those words.
Little did I know, you'd mean those words.
Little did I know, you'd own those words.
Little did I know, you'd leave me forever.

You told me, you won't leave.
You told me, you would stay.
You told me, such beautiful lies.
You told me, such painful promises.

In the end, I am left here on my own.
In the end, I am the one who fought.
In the end, I am the one who cared.
In the end, I am the fool.

Such a fool I am, to wait for you.
Such a fool I am, to listen to you.
Such a fool I am, to bid away advises.
Such a fool I am, to help you through.

No regrets, do I have for meeting you.
No pain, do I feel after letting you go.
No cracks, do you left behind on me.
No tears, do you earn from my eyes..

And now, you're gone.
And now, I'm free.
And now, you're lost.
And now, I've found my way home.

Thursday, 30 January 2014


I had a dream that was repeated for two times. It goes like this:

I was a ruler of my own kingdom. I have gates and guards by my kingdom gate that guards everyone who enters and leaves my kingdom.

My kingdom is separated from the world. It was called 'The Kingdom of Joy'. There were no tears shed. No harms done to anyone. The whole kingdom lead a peaceful life. A life that everyone wished and asked for.

Every morning I would walk in the streets and smile at the citizens of my kingdom. Everyone that saw me passed by would say "Hail the Ruler of Joy." I did not asked them to do so and told them that they don't have to do so. But they insist on saying so. I have no choice but to let it be.

Everything was complete. Everyone was complete. Everywhere was complete. Nothing is left out. No one is left out. Nowhere is left out;. Everyone belongs somewhere.

Except for I.

Although I have everything that I could ask for but then I still feel incomplete. I don't know why. I have my family. I have a baby coming on the way. But something is always missing. I have no idea what it was.

One day, everything starts to tumble down. Everyone was panicking. When I went to look for my partner, he was holding my baby, with a knife on his other hand.

I rushed over to him but he stepped away. Threatening that if I come any closer, he would kill my only newborn child. I asked what he wants. He said that to let the other side come over and rule this place. He also said that he wants my position and he wants me dead.

The sound of it is terrifying enough but I can't do anything about it. I told him that I would let him take over my position and rule over my kingdom if he promised to keep it a land of joy and my child alive. After I made that promise, he threw my child to aside. And left me there falling to my knees onto the ground.

After I got back my own consciousness, I ran to the gate and jumped into the bridge that separates the both worlds. I was holding a sword in my hand. Ready to jump out of the water anytime to fight for my own kingdom because I know that he would never keep his words.

And the rest of the story is changed...

Monday, 27 January 2014


Hey guys!

Just to let you know I am starting my instagram to do a lesson a day on it. So if you are interested. My instagram is (lefreakinmusic) and I also have twitter account with the same username okay? So just follow me if you are interested and I will be sure to follow you back!

Love yall!

Saturday, 25 January 2014

Hey guys..

Hey there everyone who is reading this post.

It's been like 3 months I have turned into a 17 year old grown lady now. And I just felt that I should be more active here.

As you all should know, I am currently studying A levels for my college years. And the college itself turns out to be great!

The people are friendly, as in they are willing to let you into their school life story. You just have to sit there and if they talk to you, soon they will all start telling you about what happened last year and how was school before you came.

It's the complete opposite of what I would have thought. Because many people says that the school is bad and everything. But then when you go to the school itself. it is not like what people says. That's why never listen to rumors.

In A levels, I am taking economics, mathematics (pure and statistics). chemistry, and biology. This is because I like all the subjects and I don't have English to take. IF I take English, then I would have to stop taking maths because it is against maths...

But oh well, maths is good too. at least I can do other subjects with it.